Salt Lake City, Utah—Road House

Begun on February 28, 1874. 12th Ward

Emily Dow Partridge Young’s Journal

(in her own words)

June 23^rd – I was invited to tea at Sister Stains. There I met several friends; in the evening several spoke in tongues, so I complied, but I am not in favor of making much use of that gift. I would rather hear speaking in our own language. I think it the safest—the devil is apt to poke his nose in where there are tongues, especially among the inexperienced, and I do hope the sisters will be wise and not suffer themselves to get into a muddle, but seek those gifts that are most profitable to all. When we speak in our own tongue we know what we say, and if we speak in another tongue, we have to depend on someone else to tell us what we say. Yet the gift of tongues is one of the gifts of the Gospel, but should not be trifled with.

June 27^th – Today is the anniversary of one of the most sorrowful days in the world, . . .thirty years ago today was committed one of the blackest crimes known in the whole world’s record. Two innocent men were murdered in the Carthage jail. Our beloved Prophet and Patriarch were slain. Their blood still cries to be avenged. The nation still seeks to do the same acts over again. They are working to destroy our leaders today as they did those in the Carthage jail, but I pray God He will not suffer them to accomplish their wicked designs, but deliver this people out of the hands of their enemies, and avenge them of their wrongs. Spare Thy people, O Lord, help them to be united in Thy holy order, help them to keep all Thy commandments and live by every word that proceeds from Thy mouth that they may gain the victory, is my prayer. Amen.

Dec. 3^rd – Went to the Liberal Institute to hear Joseph Smith, the son of the Prophet, preach. He is not much like his father. Neither is his preaching. To me his words were as the sounding of brass and tinkling cymbals. I thought there a little of good Lord and good devil in his remarks and the audience, how shall I describe them? Certainly I never was in such a congregation before. Their countenance was not as fair as the sun or clear as the moon. I felt quite unpleasant. A feeling came over me as soon as I entered the door of unprotection, and as I sat under the gallery, I looked up several times to see if the house was likely to fall.

March 25^th – Sunday. I have commenced again to keep the Word of Wisdom. I believe what the Lord has said, that it will be for our benefit and that we ought to be more careful to observe it, and not set a bad example before our children, for as they see us do, they will be very apt to do also. We should teach them by good example as well as precept, although I fear there are too many that neglect even that. I was talking with a lady not long ago who said her children did not care much for religion. She had so much work to do when they were young, she had no time to instruct them, and now they are grown and it is hard to impress upon their minds the principles of the true and everlasting gospel. This should not be, especially mothers should not be overworked. Yet if this cannot be avoided, the minds of the children should not be neglected. Better let them go ragged and dirty or even a little hungry, if something must be left undone.

I realize that mothers have arduous work. Her task is hard, more so than many realize. Unless they are mothers they cannot understand the constant anxiety of raising a family. The labors and the thousands of steps, and little acts and sleepless nights that fill up her time or existence. But few think of these things, but some make greater slaves of themselves than they really need to. They spend a great deal of time making flunedicles and super fluetics, they wish to show as much taste in the arrangement of their work as anybody, and wear themselves out needlessly instead of cultivating the minds of their children.

But I will return to the subject first introduced. It will bear much contemplation. The Lord never reveals to his children or requires anything at their hands that they cannot do, or that will not be beneficial, and if we are willing to receive and live in accordance with His word that He has given us, He will be more ready to give us more. Many think they could not live if they did not have their tea. Why not seek after faith and ask God to help them, for much depends on faith and obedience in gaining the blessings. We all desire the blessings and should be willing to do a little toward earning them. The Lord knows best what is for our good and will lead and guide us aright, and we need have no fear that he will do anything to the contrary. And I feel, for one, to put my whole trust in Him. He has blessed me with His holy spirit, and opened my understanding, that I might know of things that are and that are to be.

April 17^th – The past few years I have been sick a great deal and consequently have spent a great many sleepless nights, and at such times have contemplated the different subjects pertaining to the principles of truth. And the Lord has inspired my heart and shown me some things that I never thought of which make plain many of his sayings that were all a mystery before.

The first subject that my mind rested upon of late years was the Deseret alphabet, and it was shown so plain that I knew it was by the spirit of inspiration. I have written it down in another place, and I hope I shall have the opportunity to assist in arranging a spelling book according to the original pattern for the mode of spelling, which, at the present time, is worse than folly. It takes a lifetime to learn the art of spelling, and then we don’t know how to spell one half the words in the English language. The only difference in spelling and pronouncing is that one should be spoken slowly, and the other quickly.

There is another subject that has been made plain to my mind. It is faith and it is a subject of great importance. We have read and heard a great deal on that principle, but I fear but few properly understand it. Faith is not an independent principle. It takes three things to inspire faith. You will find what they are by reading the lectures of faith in the Doctrine and Covenants. There is so little difference in faith and knowledge that people cannot tell one from the other. They go hand in hand, and we often say, “We know” when it is only faith. For knowledge is facts demonstrated, and faith is facts not demonstrated. I will give an illustration as it was shown to me.

“Ten men started on a journey to seek their fortunes. They came to a city with very beautiful buildings. One in particular was more elegant and grand than anything they had ever seen. The intelligence that God had given them showed plainly that the house had never been placed there by chance, but that an intelligent being had planned and directed the work that their eyes beheld. And they desired to be instructed in the art of building, and sought out the man and desired that he would impart his knowledge to them. He consented to do so, but would require them to enter into a covenant with him that they would follow his instruction implicitly, and he would covenant with them that he would impart all the knowledge he possessed and make them as perfect in the art of building as he was himself. They began and all went smoothly while the work was easy, but when it began to be a little harder, one began to murmur and say that this was not needful and soon lost his faith in the teacher and would not obey the rules, and finally left altogether. And as they advanced, one and another would get dissatisfied and complain of the hard labor and the difficult tasks that were required of them, and they would leave. And so on until there was but one left to finish his education and complete his knowledge. And when he had done so, the master congratulated him on his faithfulness and gave him power to become his son for now he was equal with him and was an independent being, having obtained through faith and obedience all the knowledge that was requisite to form a structure equal to any that was in existence. Hence his faith that was hitherto centered in his teacher was now centered in himself, which faith was perfect even unto doing the work he had seen his master do without any further instructions. Now this is the faith which will move mountains and organize worlds, and govern and regulate them after they are created.

This will show us our position and the relation we have to our Heavenly Father if we will be faithful to our covenants, and yield obedience to all of God’s requirements. He will perform his part, and take us through to the end, and exalt us equally with Himself. That is His design with all the intelligence or workmanship of His hands as he is no respecter of persons. We can see by the foregoing that all had the same chance, all received the same instructions, but through disobedience and discontent, they lost their position, and did not gain the exaltation they desired. Therefore, let us persevere and let nothing hinder us for it is everyone’s privilege to gain an exaltation in the Celestial Kingdom, and it cannot be obtained in any other way, only through obedience.

I have said in the beginning of this piece that faith is not an independent principle because there are certain things necessary to inspire faith. We must have some idea of the existence of a God in order to have faith in Him. We must know of His truthfulness in order to believe His word. If we desire to accomplish an objective, and we don’t know how to do it, we can have no faith in ourselves. But believing that God has the knowledge, and understanding His character, we can ask Him in faith, believing that He will give us the proper instructions, which we follow and in time, gain the objective desired. But if we deviate from those instructions, we fail to accomplish our desires. So we see the necessity of putting faith and works together, and the works should be of the right kind too, or it will profit us nothing.

April 18^th – Our enemies in this place met together last Saturday in order to give vent to the venom that was pent up in their hearts. They seem to be very angry because the Mormons still live, and although they have been at work to be rid of us for years, they have accomplished nothing. Their speeches savored of mobocracy and bloodshed. Baskin said “If we cannot get appropriate legislation on the subject of the Mormons, it will be done at the point of the bayonet and blood will flow.” And Rane said that they would be able to take that eagle down before long that stands above Bro. Young’s gate. Now what that eagle has done that makes him want it so bad is more than I can imagine.

April 29^th – We all believe that God created the souls of mankind, now the question arises in my mind, did He organize our souls out of raw material, bringing them into form, as a child does mud babies, or does He prepare the material, having it weighed, or measured, working from a scientific plan? And if God is the God of order, he is also the God of nature. He understands the laws of nature and being a higher power, He governs and controls the same, all within the perfect plan. He has one plan of preparing the material, one plan of organizing souls, hence all must be alike, or in other words, giving them the same attributes, the same qualities and the same quantity which he bestows upon His creatures, according to His great wisdom.

Now after organizing souls, He gives them their (free) agency, and makes them accountable beings, capable of doing good and evil, which they must choose for themselves. But as they have had no experience, they are as apt to choose the evil as the good. But after doing wrong and suffering the consequences that naturally follow, they have taken one step in knowledge and are better prepared to discern between right and wrong. And as everything is known by its opposite, a great amount of experience is necessary and a great amount of suffering, before souls can be made perfect. And as the Lord gives them but little, he requires but little, but as their existence rolls on and they grow and increase in knowledge, more is required at their hands, and as they are faithful over the little they have received, God bestows upon them other gifts and graces. But if they are slack and abuse the gifts they have received, they lose instead of gaining, hence the great difference that we see existing among mankind.

The Lord says He is no respecter of persons, and we can see the truth of this saying, as all are created after the same plan, possessing the same attributes, all weighed in the same balance, and all receive the same instruction and care from their maker. And it rests entirely upon themselves whether they improve or not, and if they do not, they have nobody to blame but themselves. For God is just and is as willing to bless one, in doing the works of righteousness, as another. His design in their creation is to exalt them to be Gods, to become equal with Himself. He has given them all the attributes necessary to begin with, and He will add to them, here a little and there a little, according to their faithfulness.

The work of procreation is the same all over the world, among all classes and all species, from mankind to the smallest animal. It has been the same from the days of Adam down to the present time. Whether in the spirit world or the temporal world, the plan is the same, and I doubt if male and female constitutes a whole, and neither can be dispensed within propagating the different specie, whether in the animal kingdom or the vegetable kingdom. Whatever is capable of producing its own likeness, observing the laws of sex, which are the laws of nature and also God’s laws. It is the perfect knowledge of nature and the science of cause and effect that gives God His power.

The power to produce our own specie in our own likeness is the greatest work allotted to God’s creatures. God’s work is one of progression, and its study is one of interest and usefulness, easy to be understood when we have the light of the Holy Spirit to inspire our minds and to open the eyes of our understanding to see truths as they actually exist. Truth is what we want, however strange it may be. Error, though it may appear beautiful, will never exalt us, will give us no power, nor add to our happiness. Then let us divert our minds of bigotry and suffer our hearts to become enlarged that there may be room to receive the beautiful truths of science, which are God’s plans, or laws, by which He works, and control all that belongs to Him, both in Heaven and on this earth. This is exaltation—to learn nature’s laws, to know how to create and how to govern in all things, nature produces all things and knowledge is power supreme.

May 24^th – I feel impressed to write a few words on scandal, which I hope will not be amiss. It seems to be prevalent among saints, as well as sinners, to speak evil of one another, and the questions arise in my mind as to why that is so. Why do we take pleasure in circulating evil reports about our fellow creatures? Can we not enjoy life while we see others happy? Does their happiness or good reputation hinder us from enjoying the same blessing? Why do we suffer envy to rise and rule over our better nature, and seek to destroy the character of a brother or sister? If they have weaknesses, are we free from faults? Are we not the children of one and the same Heavenly Father and striving to reach the same heaven, the same glory, and the same exaltation? Why do we seek continually to pull down and destroy the works of our maker? Is it not more noble to build up and spread peace and joy and comfort, and strengthen the hearts of those around us? Are they not human and susceptible of joy or sorrow? Why do we not observe the commandments of our Savior and put on charity as a mantle, and extend it to our neighbor.

The Revelations say, “Without charity our righteousness profiteth us nothing.” Charity covers a multitude of sins, and if the Lord, being perfect, can forgive us, how much more necessary is it for us to forgive another and learn with each other’s weaknesses. We should observe the Golden Rule, and do as we would like to be done by. We have a promise that the measure we give out shall be measured back to us again. We may try to fool ourselves to the belief that evil is not in our hearts, and we may succeed in making others believe the same because of our smooth way of working, but the effect is the same. We should not smooth the brow with one hand and undermine with the other. People may not understand the working of both hands, but God sees all and knows the intent of the heart, and He will repay us in His own time. We may sail along with flying colors for a time, and feel secure in our courses, but the promise is sure and we will reap our reward.

Then let us examine our hearts before it is too late and cast from our minds all jealousies and envious feelings, and seek to build each other up and cease to magnify the faults of others, and speak the best that we can of all, comfort and console others, and prove ourselves worthy in every deed. In blessing others, we bless ourselves; and it is the only way to true happiness. There are none of us so very happy and independent that we can dispense with each others help and sympathy.

How much unhappiness is caused by evil speaking? How much suffering for the want of charity? How much evil is wrought under the cloak of friendship? An open avowed enemy is preferable to a smooth tongue, a deceitful friend. The first cannot do one-half the injury that the other can. We might say the Lord delivers us from such friends and we have not much to fear from our enemies. Slander should be done away with among those professing to be saints; it is an evil that few, if any, are exempt from. It creates prejudices and I believe it causes more trouble than anything else. It makes people feel as though they were guilty when they are not.

Now I would exhort my sisters to cease, or put away, this evil and not condemn in others what we justify ourselves in doing. Let us cultivate love toward each other and turn our attentions and our abilities to doing something useful, that we may earn a blessing instead of a cursing. It may be necessary that offences come, but “woe to them by whom they come.” These are the words of the Savior. Let us beware, there is enough good work to be done to keep all busy, and none need to infringe or crowd upon another. Our motto should be “Live and let live.” There should be happiness enough for all. There is no need of one’s trying to monopolize, stepping on somebody else in order to be the highest. We can never build ourselves up on others ruin; it must be done on true worth or not at all. Our Father in Heaven is just. He is no respecter of persons. One of His children is just as precious in His eyes as another, providing their works are as good. The innocent will eventually triumph and the guilty be punished. I hope these words will sink deep into the hearts of all that read them, for there is much need of a reformation in this respect.

The next morning after writing all this, the same foregoing verses appeared in the herald that express the sentiment so completely of what I have been trying to write, that I will cut them out and save them that they may be added to it.

May 27^th -Yesterday I attended the sisters meeting in the 14^th Ward. The main subject was Home Industry! I could not agree with all that was said. The sisters were urged to sustain home manufacture and to establish different kinds of business in order to give the poor saints coming into these valleys employment. The idea was carried and the remarks made that many suffered and some apostatized in consequence of this neglect in years gone by. Now I cannot think this correct. The people that first came to these valleys have had a great deal to contend with, more poverty and hardships to encounter than those coming after.

One woman had lately been heard to say she had but little money and she must make it go as far as she could. This was considered wrong. The questions arose in my mind, “Who knows that woman’s circumstances? Who knows that she was not justified?” Circumstances sometimes alter cases. Perhaps she took the wisest course. It is far better to know a case before we judge it. It is not good to create an iron bedstead to measure all by. It might fit some but not everybody. It is impossible for a person that has never had any children to fully understand and sympathize with the mothers. Now I have a great deal of charity for the sisters. I am a mother. I have had a family of little children. In days of poverty, I had to make a little go a great way, and we cannot always judge others by ourselves. I realize the necessity of doing all that is required of us as well as anybody, but I do not think God requires us to distress ourselves or our families. The labors of the sisters are arduous, and I would make it as easy for them as possible.

We all know with what ease a large amount of work can be done when the heart is light, and a little encouragement goes a long way in making our burden easier. I believe the majority of the sisters are worn out, their health and constitutions shattered because of the many hardships and privations they have endured in consequence of the persecution heaped upon the saints. Yet, they are willing to do all they can to build up the Kingdom of God. Some are poor and can do but little, but where little is given, little is required. All is acceptable with God if it is given in singleness of heart. We need mothers in Israel—women that can enter into the needs of women and children that understand their natures, that know by experience what women have to endure in all the different phases of life.

Woman’s first duty is to her children—charity begins at home. Let women fulfill their home duties first, then if they have any spare time, they can work for the public. But judging from experience, they will not have much time to spare. Yet there are many ways to help without neglecting our families. A word fitly spoken does a great deal of good. It binds up the broken heart, it soothes the troubled mind, it brings rest to the body and soul. And where is there a woman so strong and happy that she needs no sympathy, no encouragement, no help to bear her burdens? We all have needs, we are all more or less dependent on each other, and we should let the influence of sympathy radiate from our hearts, that all with whom we may be associated will receive a benefit. This will bring union of heart, peace of mind, love for one another that harshness and unkind words can never accomplish.

June 1^st – I was invited to dine at the Lion House a 3 o’clock. It was Bro. Young’s birthday. Seventy-six years old. Although my face had begun to swell with the erysipelas, I determined to go. When President Young saw my face, he told me to apply a poultice of charcoal and corn meal and water, or any substance that would form the charcoal into a poultice. After supper, or dinner, we sat around the table for some little time, listening to the gentlemen. Bro. Joseph Young related some incidents connected with his early life just before and after the infant Brigham’s birth.

Pres. Young made a remark suggested to his mind at seeing the flowers on the table before him. He said that the difference between the plants of this world and the spirit world was this: in the spirit world there were thousands of bright gems surrounding the plants seen by spiritual eyes that were not discernable to mortal eyes. He spoke of the power that Christ and the Gods had to become invisible, and having all power to do whatever they desired. After dinner he bid the company good-bye and left for Provo to hold meetings for two or three days. His health was poor, although he felt better than he had the two previous days. His countenance was pure and heavenly.

Bro. Young also said, in reply to Joseph Young’s question, what do resurrected beings eat? “They eat angels food.” We were all just as wise then as we were before, but it set me to thinking. Is not all that is on this earth typical of Heaven? Also, what is Heaven? The Lord made this earth and pronounced it good. If it was freed from sin and death, would it not be Heaven in every deed? Would not its beautiful luscious fruits be good enough for angels? I think, however, much may be perfected.

I would be satisfied with the good this world affords when the seeds of death are eradicated. I appreciate the works of God right here upon this earth, but we have become so corrupt, and all of God’s works have become so degenerated through sin that all our pleasures are mixed with pain, and we naturally look to another world for a fulness of joy. But if we could only realize that this earth, with all its pleasures and its beauties and glories, were made for man and when it has been made perfect, and its inhabitants become pure, who could ask or desire anything more beautiful or more comfortable than what our Father has prepared for his children here on this earth? It will be just as tangible to us in its state of perfection as it is to us now.

It is through the labors of the saints that a great deal of the earth’s curse will be removed. It is through their faithfulness, diligence, and obedience in following the instructions of God’s servants that he has placed here to receive His word for us, that sin, with all its effects, will be overcome. We will be just as capable of enjoying all the earth affords in its purity as we now can enjoy a large juicy peach. We can now discern the difference between a large sweet juicy strawberry and a small hard sour one. We would naturally prefer the best, and enjoy it accordingly. Now if cultivation can do so much for some things, what might be done for the whole world with labor in the right manner?

When I speak of being satisfied with the good of this world, I do not mean the corruptions and fading glories of this world. I mean the earth in its pure state, those pleasures that none will possess but the righteous. This is what I wish to enjoy, the earth and its blessings in its perfect state.

June 17^th – The Gospel of Christ is the most liberal of anything in the world; it provides for the happiness of every being. God created our souls and bodies, and He made us well and gave us no superfluities. Happiness is what He designs for all His creatures, and if we will place ourselves under His guidance, He will lead us on from step to step, from one grade to another, until we obtain perfect bliss. We must be patient. We cannot expect these things until we are of perfect stature as of Christ Jesus. Then we will be prepared to enjoy pleasures and happiness completely. It the meantime we must be restricted and governed by such laws as God in His wisdom sees we need, and if we are observant, those laws will promote our happiness and prove our salvation. A wise parent will not give a child a razor to injure or destroy itself with, although it is a very useful article in the hands of one that knows how to use it. We are nothing but children compared to our Heavenly Father, and if left to follow our own inclinations, we would be as apt to bring about our destruction as to secure our happiness.

I must differ with “Critic” in the Exponent. Mabel is right in my estimation. There are some things that annoy that it is necessary to endure for the time bing. Boys can, and sometimes do, make themselves complete nuisances and should not be encouraged in coveting their neighbor’s flowers or fruit. They can be taught to appreciate the beauties of nature and keep hands off too. Boys can be taught politeness (none are too poor that they can’t learn that). Bees are not to be governed like boys, but there are laws whereby they are controlled. Let no one be annoyed when it can be avoided. It is easy to talk or write like “Critic.” It looks beautiful on paper, but facts are stubborn things and but few people have as much saintism when the case is brought home to them as they can have in their imaginations. Something to suit real life is what we want. High flown words and lofty sentiment will do to read, but to like it is another thing. Let everybody’s rights be respected, let boys be tough, and bees be made to keep their place, not force people to unnecessarily bear with their brakes (?) because they are innocent and useful. Nothing should be suffered to become a nuisance, none should be allowed, justly, to complain of nuisances. Let all be considerate, and such troubles will cease.

July 13^th – I thank God my Heavenly Father for His goodness and great mercies, for His long suffering and loving kindness. How little do we, as his creatures, realize his condescension and our utter dependence on Him. If we could understand our relationship with the great God, and that He is our Father in the most correct sense of the word, and that He looks after our welfare, more than it is possible for an earthly parent to do, how different would be our acts. How grateful we would feel, how energetic and diligent would we be, but this we cannot know until our minds expand, and our capacities are enlarged. Then we may begin to learn something of His goodness and greatness, His knowledge and wisdom, in bringing forth intelligences out of chaos or unorganized matter and preparing them to be exalted and dwell in eternal happiness.

Retrenchment seems to be the order of the day and the subject has not been brought into notice any too soon. It is high time that people begin to examine their habits and customs and dispense with all superfluities, and rectify all follies and let common sense take the place of ignorance and bad habits. I do not know of any one thing that needs pulling to pieces and making over again more than our present mode of spelling. I am safe in saying that not one word in all the English language is spelt correctly. What we are aiming at is to progress in truth and righteousness, and to do that we must start right and do away with error wherever we find it, although it may seem of but little importance, yet it helps to make up a whole. We are all interested, or should be, in this matter. It is much better to teach our children truths, and have them form habits that are sensible and correct, than to erase from the mind false notions and prejudices than it is to learn it in the first place. So you see the importance of making first impressions correct.

As to the subject of spelling, all will agree with me that there is great need of reforming our present system of spelling. In the first place, we want an alphabet with all the different sounds used in the words belonging to our language. But as it is, some have to do duty for two or more sounds, while others that should have no place in any words take a prominent part in spelling. Therefore, it will be necessary to discard some letters and substitute others. There should be a uniformity of sound in naming the consonants, instead of de, be, el, em, ar, and so on, they should be governed by one sound. I would propose that ub, ud, un, um, ul, ube, would be superfluity of sound and should be dispensed with. The letters to be discarded are c, x, y, w, q, and those substituted ush, uth, wth, and perhaps others. Where we now use h we should use uh. W is a combination of several sounds or letters, consequently it is a word and no word should be used in spelling. should be used in its place as ooel. Y is the union of two sounds and e should be used in its stead as eet (yet). C has both the sound of k and s which is needless. Each sound should be represented by a separate and distinct character, and that should mean the same thing wherever it is, and nothing else.

In this way there need be no trouble in knowing how a word is pronounced when you see it spelled, or no trouble in spelling a word when you hear it, or separate it when you hear it spoken.

To spell a word is to analyze it or separate the sounds and speak them slowly instead of quickly, as is done in pronouncing. As, ub, e, ud, bed uch, s, ur, chair, us, ut, o, stove, , o, ul wool, there should be two oos in spelling wool or it would be ool. It would also be necessary to have for vowels every sound that can be made by the human voice. Yu, is not correct. It should be u—there is just as much consistency in saying ya, ye, yo, as yu. It should not be possible to spell a letter—we cannot spell the letter a nor e—neither should we be able to spell any other letter. They are but one sound beyond the breath, incapable of being spelled. Words are to be spelled with letters, not letters with words. The following are the letters that should be used—they are the exact sounds needed in our language: ub, ul, uf, ug, uj, uk, ul, um, un, up, ur, us, ut, uv, uz, uth, ush, uch, wh, a, ah, aw, ak, e, eh, i, ih, o, , ow. . .

We might as well say bootjack or war as to w, a, r, war. There is just as much sense in it. Or we might teach a child to make bread, telling it to take one quart of sand, one tablespoonful of mustard, one teaspoonful of coal oil and half a pint of dried peas. This comes as near making bread as the letters we put together do of spelling the words we desire. There are many words that are spelled with letters that have not one sound of the word they are in, and this is worse than folly.

It is ridiculous and we as saints, professing to have the light of the Holy Spirit, should lead out and set the pattern by adopting those things that are sensible and consistent with the truth and not cling to bad habits because they are old and time worn and become second nature to us from long use. It is true in many cases that “truth is stranger than fiction,” but however strange, we, having the light of the gospel, ought to be able to discern the difference between truth and error. The plain simple truth is that we want truth in its purity and with all its comeliness, for such it is to those who understand it, it is all that is desirable and all that is worth seeking for or cherishing. It’s all that will ever benefit us hereafter. From habit many cherish false notions that have become so dear to them that they think they cannot part with them, but cling to them as they would to a decaying tooth.

It behooves us as Latter-Day-Saints to receive the truth when it is given us and cherish it as a precious gift from our Father, and thank Him for light to discern between truth and error. I think I have said sufficient for the present. I long to see an improvement in spelling, so that a person need not spend a lifetime in learning the art, and then not be able to spell one half the words we use. We should have a perfect system for spelling as well as in other things, our time is precious and should not be spent foolishly.

July 15^th – The Gospel of Christ is the most liberal of anything in the world. It provides for the happiness of every being. God organized our spirits, and fashioned our bodies, and as one writer has said, “God made man well, giving him no superfluities, and if man was to be made over again, he would be made the same. Happiness is what God designs for all His creatures, and the gospel is what will give it to them, but mankind is so ignorant and short-sighted, they cannot trust their maker, so He places them in positions suiting their capacity and requires them to observe certain laws and curtail their liberties, to a certain degree, until their minds shall develop and grow in knowledge and wisdom, when they will be able to appreciate blessings and not abuse those precious gifts God has in store for all that are worthy, and have been proven competent and trustworthy to receive them. Our Father withholds His most precious things, in mercy, because of ignorance, knowing they would prove our destruction as a child handling a dangerous weapon, not knowing its danger, it would destroy itself. So we see the necessity of seeking knowledge first before we try to handle those things that are forbidden at the present time. Be patient and faithful and all will be well. Be not over anxious and everything will be added in its time and season. Do what is required, keep pure and unspotted, and happiness and glory are sure.

(Extract of a letter from Joseph Smith) “And shall Missouri, filled with Negroes driven and white men stealers, go unwhipped of justice, for tenfold greater sins than France? No! Verily, no! While I have powers of body and mind; while water runs and grass grows; while virtue is lovely and vice hateful; and while a stone points out a sacred spot where a fragment of American liberty once was; I or my posterity will plead the cause of injured innocents, until Missouri makes atonement for all her sins—or sinks disgraced, degraded and damned to hell—where the worm dieth not and the fire is not quenched.” And closed with “ . . .to this sublime idea that Congress, with the President as executor, is as almighty in its sphere as Jehovah is in His. With great respect,” Joseph Smith.

July 30^th – In reading the Juvenile Instructor (magazine), I am impressed with the words of “Editorial Thought.” They are words of truth and ought to be considered and observed. People need not expect to impress upon the minds of their children principles which they do not practice themselves. They should set an example before them worthy of imitation. Such teachings are more powerful than all their precepts. Yet both together are better. Sunday School teachers should be careful how they present themselves before the children. When my children were small, they did not like to go to Sunday School because their teacher’s breath smelled so strong of whiskey and tobacco, it made them sick. Such things should not be, they are a disgrace to any community, much more to a people professing to have the light of the Gospel. They are an abomination in the sight of Heaven. The idea of subjecting our pure and innocent children to being taught by men that indulge in such habits that are so disgusting and offensive to a pure person.

A short time ago while riding in the street car, seated by one of our Mormon elders, the fumes from his breath were so offensive I had to turn my head away. Now how do the angels look upon such things. Are they not more repulsive than extravagance in dress? Is it not more necessary to reform the men than the woman? I thought, as I was riding along, that I would much rather sit by a clean woman, although she might be overdressed, and I think the angels would feel the same. Now I do not mean to uphold extravagance in dress by any means. I think it an evil that should be reformed, but it is not so disgusting as the evil I have been speaking of. It does not contaminate the atmosphere and breed sickness and death to all it approaches. My advice to such is: keep your distance and I am sure that God and His spirit will not trouble you with their presence.

August 1^st – I had a nice ride with Len Hardy. He came to take Mamie, but as she and Josephine were over to the lake with Morris and Eli, he very kindly asked me to go. I availed myself of the invitation and enjoyed it much. I have thought for sometime that riding would be beneficial to my health.

August 3^rd – Some of the proceedings of our last meeting have caused me to reflect more or less on the way we estimate the offerings brought to our society, especially labor. I think I see a fault which I will try to point out. We do not credit knitting according to its worth, but according to the worth of the socks. Now is not one woman’s time worth as much as another’s? If one woman spends one day at faithful knitting, is not she entitled to the same credit, in the sight of Heaven, as the woman that sews and works no harder. We would not expect that she would work for less than one dollar or one and a half per day. Now is this justice while the knitter receives credit for not more than half price. I think that all will acknowledge that knitting by hand is worth much more than the socks are themselves. Then why not give credit accordingly. It does not injure the society, but swells the account of receipts. I hope the Lord will record it in Heaven, but if he does and we do not, how will our books compare with His? I think there would be a deficiency in ours.

Societies were organized according to the laws of Heaven, and in doing business, we should be just and exact. How often do we hear in our meetings, “This is not worth much, throw it in.” Do we not throw in all that we give, do we receive any remuneration, credit is all we get. Then why not give credit for full value as it takes nothing from the society, it cannot injure it.

If not crediting small things instead of throwing them in, they are thrown away—there are loose ends. There are fragments that we lose. The Savior said to His deciples “Gather up the fragments that nothing be lost,” and it is a mistaken idea that we are going to benefit the society by crediting at a low figure. Of course, we should not go beyond the mark either. It is the same in making quilts. The labor necessary in making quilts far exceeds the worth of the quilt, but is the worth of the labor any less on that account? We can credit the work according to the time faithfully spent, but in handing them out it would be necessary to make a discount, but let it be made by the society, and a record be kept showing how much and where it comes in. If we cannot do this, let us not require the sisters to do this kind of work. Let us do that which is more profitable, but since the quilts are needed, and the socks are needed, and as we have no knitting machine, we will have to get them knit by hand. Then if it is necessary to have it done, let them have credit for their time, the customary price for a woman’s labor.

Now it would be on my mind to place the subjects before the sisters for their consideration. I do not know how these things are managed in other societies, but it is for us when we see a fault to rectify it and do all our business in an upright and tidy manner. I blame no one—it has been an oversight. We cannot expect to learn all at once, but little by little.

Aug. 12^th – As it regards the sisters of the ward that have interest and have entered their names as members of the society, and their only offence is now attendance, my feelings are to bear with them. We, as mothers, know how difficult it is to leave a family of small children and set aside home duties having no one to help bear the burden, or lighten their labors. Our sisters may be good women but fail to see the necessity of neglecting one duty to perform another; neither do I see it. Our first duties are at home, and should be attended to first.

I realize that a woman’s burden is great, but those who never had any experience are apt to think it light. But all that have had the practical point of woman’s life as mothers will bear me out in my assertion. Our strength lies in our weakness. Our labors cannot be dispensed with, although the work of our hands do not show to very great advantage. To woman is given one of the greatest missions in life; to bring forth, and rear mankind. How much depends upon the wisdom and faithfulness of women.

Let us feel for them as mothers and draw them as mothers with the cords of sympathy, and extend the hands of charity, overlooking faults as only mothers can do, keeping our own weak and feeble natures in view and our dependence upon God for charity and forbearance. The organization of the Relief Societies are for a purpose; not merely to feed and clothe the poor, but to administer to the mind. It is our business to strengthen and cheer and instruct. And we will continue to invite and call their names unless they desire to be dropped. Now in all our doings, we have a duty to perform toward ourselves. We should try to help the sister in meeting, and be united in sustaining our president and make our meetings interesting.

Sun. Aug. 19^th – . . . (so and so) complained of conduct while coming from the lake the evening before, also of the color of her bathing suit, it being red. I have made some inquiries and find it is very much exaggerated, she did nothing but what would be thought well enough of in anybody else. There seems to be an evil influence to bring her into trouble, both in the church and out, and some who profess friendship are her worst enemies.

August 21^st – I have found out who informed Hyrum about the girls Saturday. Their only wrong was in suffering themselves to be drawn into bad company. M felt a spite toward Mamie for resenting his improper conduct toward herself, and magnified and exaggerated matters to their injury. Now it makes me think of a little story. A young lady unwillingly got into a quicksand swamp and was sinking fast when one of her pious friends came along. Upon seeing her, he began to holler and was seemingly in great distress, all which caused her to sink faster. Soon a stranger passed by and on taking in her situation at a glance, he quietly put forth his hand and rescued her. Now, I would ask, which of those men manifested the most brotherly and godlike spirit?

Some seem to think that the more ado they make over a wrong committed by another, the more commendable they are, although they do not extend a helping hand. They are too righteous, in their own estimation, to come in contact with guilt, even in appearances, and save a human soul. It would reflect upon their immaculate self. It would be well to remember that a sin confessed is half atoned for, and I might say quite atoned for, unless it be a very heavy one. Our Savior does not despise the repentant sinner. He can condescend to take them by the hand and help them in their weakness. If we could only see and acknowledge our own folly, we would have more charity for others. We should pull the beam out of our own eyes before we attempt to take the mote out of the eye of our brothers. Our sight should be very good before we meddle with another’s eyes.

I will retell a little story, a true one. Some thirty-five years ago there lived at a nobleman’s house several young men and girls. They had some pleasant times sleigh riding and in various other ways. Among them were two orphan girls who came to live there after their father’s death. For some cause or other, a jealous or spiteful feeling arose toward those two girls. So the others sought to slight them, and instead of making them part of the party that were going to take a sleigh ride, they went off without them. When one of them happened to go into the room where the lord of the mansion was sitting conversing with a strange gentleman, he was surprised that she had not gone. Said he, “I thought you had gone with the young folks riding. Did you not want to go?” And after asking a few questions, he saw how matters stood. After saying some good words in their praise, he told a young man that had not gone with the party to get his favorite horse and cutter, and took them out. They felt very grateful for his kindness, and did not care much for the slight put upon them since they had found a friend in such a good man (for he was good as well as noble). But he died a short time after and those girls lost a friend that was never made up to them in later life. The treatment they received at that time from their friend, was only a foretaste of what they have had, more or less all their lives, and they sometimes wonder if they ever shall find a true friend with a disposition and the power to lift them out of their sorrow. There are few if any such men on this earth, as the friend they lost. He was great, good and kind, and loved by all good people. He was a friend of the innocent and oppressed, he was a father to the orphans and a blessing to all mankind. Who knows but what this little incident is emblematical of this world; and if we are faithful, when we pass behind the veil, we will meet with a recompense for all our sorrows.

Aug. 26^th – Last night, just after Mamie and Josephine had returned from the theater, one of the hospital roughs strayed into our yard and insisted on looking for his cow on our porch. Bert had accompanied the girls home and had not yet returned, and did not wish to leave him here, so he tried to prevail on him to leave. But the drunkard thought he knew his own business and chose to remain. Bert had quite a time before he got him out of the yard. The rough gave him a black eye in the tussle, he was so stubborn, we were afraid Bert might get badly hurt, so Mamie and I ran over to Kingwood’s after him (a policeman), but he was not at home. Bert had succeeded with the help of a man passing to get him into the hospital gate, and left him. The girls were so frightened that we prevailed on Bert to remain all night. The Sisters of Charity keep a rough looking set around them. Some of them are very impudent sometimes. It is not pleasant to live near such a place. I think it is a rendezvous for all the mean trash in the territory, and I wonder that we are not more frightened than we are. It certainly is not safe for women alone to be so near so many rascals.

Aug. 27^th – I spent most of yesterday reading P.P. Pratt’s’s autobiography, and finished it this morning. I spent considerable time in weeping over his hard life. He was truly one of God’s chosen ones. I look upon such men as more than mortal, although they are confined in mortal tabernacles for a wise purpose. They are those servants spoken of in the parable, when the Lord of the vineyard called upon certain ones to go down with him, and labor with him in his vineyard. They truly are not of this world, but lent here to labor and save the fruit of this earth.

Many incidents Dr. Pratt speaks of (although I was a child), I well remember from the time we went to Jackson County, and Clay Caldwell, and from that time till his death. Those things connected with the body of the Church; I have witnessed with my own eyes and heard spoken of at the time. Many of them I have experienced myself, being with and identified with this church since I was seven years old; almost from its commencement.

Aug. 28^th – About nine o’clock, word was brought that Bro. Young was very sick, and it was hardly expected that he would live. I and my family went down to see him and stayed till twelve o’clock when he seemed a little better, and receiving a hint to go home, I left, also Mamie and Josephine. I sincerely hope he will get well. He has the faith and prayers of all the saints. Some of the family friends invited the family (for nearly all were present) into the parlor to unite in prayer. Brother Wells prayed, then Bro. L. Young, then Bro. Cannon. Brigie Jr. spoke to the effect that his father had been healed by the power of God before, more than once, and he had great faith that he would again be healed. I think the object in going into the parlor was more to vacate the rooms of anxious waiting friends than it was to pray. He, Bro. Young, had all the care it was possible to bestow on anyone. His friends seemed with each other to do something for him. He was kept in constant motion, rolling back and forth to keep breath in his body, and a continual fanning.

Aug. 29^th – “There is crepe on the door” and sorrow within. Early in the morning, I and my family were sent for to be at the Lion House at 9 o’clock to pray as Bro. Young was failing. I came home in the afternoon. About 3 o’clock I was sent for again as Bro. Young was dying.

His spirit passed away one minute past four. We all knelt down and Bro. Cannon prayed. I never experienced more solemnity. It was an expression of each heart, without words, we bow and submit to Thy will, O Lord. Although sobbing was heard, it did not disturb the halo that pervaded the room. We retired to the parlor, and I felt that silence was sweet. When anyone spoke the sound seemed to grate on my ears, and when I heard a step approaching, my heart exclaimed, don’t speak. I dreaded to have the spell broken or the sweet peaceful influence that filled the air disturbed.

How often it is the case that when a friend dies, if they ever had a weakness, or imperfection, it seems to exist no longer. And in reality they do not exist when they lay off their earthly tabernacle, with it they lay off every infirmity that their body is heir to, and they stand forth in all their purity and greatness, and although our eyes do not behold them, we feel a sense of their worth, not understanding why it is so. When souls pass away, as Bro. Young has, and leaves a record of faithfulness to fill up his existence in this life, there is more cause for joy than sorrow. It is natural that we should mourn the separation, we are apt to feel our loneliness and a lack of something that will remain the rest of our lives. I believe Bro. Young has done his whole duty toward Joseph Smith’s family. They have sometimes felt that their lot was hard but no blame or censure rests upon him. And I feel grateful to him and bless his name forever. I know he was a good and great man, one raised up by the Almighty, one that will be exalted in the kingdom of God, whilst his enemies and persecutors will sink to hell. I hope the saints will appreciate his works and carry out his wishes, for all his teachings were for the benefit of this people. And now he has left us, may we be more careful in speaking and doing, and more quick to receive the instructions he gave us whilst he remained with us.

I think there were but two of the friends attending that bedside during his sickness that felt any faith that he would recover. I think that people sometimes mistake blindness for faith, and willful blindness is inexcusable. A great many people do not know what faith is. According to my understanding, it is a foreknowledge, or an assurance, of things hoped for. Now when we have an assurance, it is something more than belief. There is a power that will accomplish when we know the exact work to unite with our faith. The Savior spoke of it when he said, “Faith as a grain of mustard would remove mountains.” Now it is a mistaken idea that faith alone will accomplish anything. “Faith without works is dead.” I have often heard it said, “Nothing but faith can heal him now, hold on to faith.” We had better get it first—if we have faith we know it, we feel its power, and all hell can’t stand before it. Faith is facts not demonstrated—we often say we know when it is only faith. This is when many are deceived. They cannot discern between the two.

Sept. 2^nd – Sunday . . the day has passed. One long to be remembered. The remains of Bro. Young laid at rest in a nice, clean, peaceful place. He has finished his work, and may he rest for a season. All was done by his friends that could be done; and I believe he is satisfied. Now it remains with us to prepare ourselves to meet him and the heavenly hosts. This should be the work of the remainder of our lives, then joy will be our reward.

Bro. Young, as he lay in his roomy coffin, looked so peaceful, so comfortable, that it seems as if none should mourn, but rather rejoice. But not as the world would, for they have not the light of the Gospel, which brings the true peace and joy that they know not of.

Sept. 7^th – As Benjamin Franklin battled the lightning, so I will have to bottle my thoughts by writing them down, for when I stand up to speak, they fly away like so many frightened birds, and I will have to use pen, ink, and paper as a trap to hold them until they can be used, for I do not intend to be baffled in the discharge of my duties, which the adversary is trying hard to do. I am determined to move forward in the cause of righteousness though all hell oppose me; and all my powers of body and mind shall be spent in the interest of the Kingdom of God. That shall be my life, my existence; I want nothing outside of it. Truth, as it exists with the Gods, is what my soul craves.

Sept 9^th – Went to meeting. Bros. Franklin Richards and Erastus Snow spoke. The tabernacle is draped the same as it was the Sunday before, and two vases of flowers set before the brethren’s seats. The thought of not seeing him in his seat anymore was calculated to make us feel lonesome as, no doubt, many did.

Sept. 11^th – Last evening I received a letter and two papers from Carlos. By reading the comments of the papers on Mormonism, it is evident that there is nothing in common between this people and the world. They uncharitably criticize us, our sorrows they ridicule, they mock our tears, they censure everything a Mormon does. What would merit praise in the world is despicable in a Mormon. They make light of the most sacred things, they even resort to black guardism and venom. And the name of the Lord is had in derision. But they will get their deserts in due time.

Sept. 19^th – Emily’s little Alice is very sick. We think her recovery is doubtful. Sister Zina came up to stay all night. In the course of conversation I mentioned some of my ideas on the origin of man.

21^st – Alice is decidedly better—we entertain great hopes of her getting well. If she does, it will be the Lord’s work and to Him be all the glory.

23^rd – Motion is a principle of life. Let motion cease and death will soon ensue. We see that law carried out in all nature. The air we breath is stagnant and corrupt, when motion ceases the water becomes impure, the blood in our bodies becomes putrid when its circulation is stopped and our bodies die, and even this earth would fly to pieces if its motion was stopped. Everything in nature moves. Vegetation is continually waving from the effects of the moving atmosphere, and nothing in life, can be found that is exempt from the laws of motion.

24^th – Brother Rossiter called to ask me if I would join the family in keeping Bro. Young’s horses and carriages. I gladly assented. I would be very sorry to have them go into the hands of anybody else. Anything that has been associated with him in his life I do not want sold.

28^th – Brigham Jr. called to see if I would give my name as bond or as security, I hardly know what. I am willing to do anything I can to promote the welfare of the whole. I see by what he said that there are going to be feelings both with the Executors and some of the family on account of not understanding the business.

I wish we could all understand what is wanted of us, so that hard feelings would not have a chance to creep in among us. It is my wish that Bro. Young’s wishes be carried out to the letter, and I would do all that he would have me do if he was here; he has been generous in making no difference in his family. The proxy wives are remembered in his will the same as the others. He has shown himself to the last the noble man he is, and may he never have cause to complain of any of his family.

Will Rossiter and Bob Anderson took an inventory of my household goods. It was an unpleasant duty to perform both for me and the gentlemen.

29^th – Ellen Anderson stole Kate Piper’s pocketbook while in the store, and laid it on to Lulu Clawson, who happened to be in the store at the same time. It was necessary for her mother to take her to the judge’s office, where she was soon cleared of the charge, and the pocketbook found and the guilt placed where it belonged. Lulu, poor child, nearly cried her eyes out. The guilty girl was fourteen years old, and this was not her first offence. I hope the lesson will do her good.

Oct. 3^rd – Not very well. In the afternoon my sister Eliza and her son, Platte, arrived from Oak Creek.

6^th – Am not able to attend conference.

7^th – Some careless words of Platte made his mother and me feel very bad for a little while. She has had a deal of trouble and is nearly broke down, and can’t stand much. If children could know how their idle words sometimes pierce the hearts of their mothers, they would be more careful how they speak. A mother is not apt to be appreciated until she has passed away. Nobody is like a mother. The name implies pure love, disinterested affection, and all that is good.

8^th – Mamie and Josephine received from the Executers $25.00 apiece.

9^th – My health is getting better. My sister Eliza and her son Platt started home. The weather is pleasant and may it continue until they get home.

13^th – Mamie’s birthday, twenty years old. I wish I had something to make her a present. I would like to give my children something on their birthdays as long as I live.

14^th – I think it was yesterday I sent for $25.00 and received it. I have had three rides in the red carriage.

Nov. 8^th – Received from the estate $50.00. Went down and arranged for sending Carlos’s clothes. Hyrum C. packed them and sent them off to Troy. I thanked him very much. I hope I shall never forget any favor I may receive from anyone.

9^th – I took Sister Amanda Smith and Mary Slack for a ride in the President’s carriage. I do not wish to ride in it very often as it gives me unpleasant feelings for some cause.

The widow’s mite was just as acceptable and counted for as much with the Savior as the rich man’s gift.

We all have our share of the burdens to bear. And it is for us to advance as we see the way clear.

In looking at a picture with an obscure light we are enabled to see all the outlines and tell what it means; but when we come to look at it with more light we see many beauties that were not discernable before.

We believe that man possesses a variety of attributes; but how he obtains them or what is their origin, none, as yet, have been able to tell. It is certain that everything has an origin and is practically produced from matter that is eternal, but how it is produced is a mystery to mankind, and always will be until God reveals it in his own time. The origin of man or of the Soul of man has been too deep to fathom.

Oxygen is a life giving property; and I think is the origin of all intelligence; and the process of bringing it to a state of perfection, God alone knows. His plans are perfect, and his systems are without fault.

We see in the world a great variety of animals possessing a portion of intelligence pure as the elements they sprang from; each specie possessing peculiar characteristics; or an attribute in a state of progression; or preparing to take part in the great organization of a human soul. This Theory is hard to believe by the majority of the world, for the reason that “truth is stranger than fiction.” Scientists have discovered many great truths, and have searched into the depths of nature, but have never been able to trace the origin of the mind.

Philosophers say that water is composed of animalcules. Full of life and activity. Now if we had power to see, I think we would behold the same in the atmosphere; different grades of life, continually changing and all progressing after God’s own plan. First gases, air and water, then the vegetable kingdom or sea weed, then the animal kingdom to which man belongs, doing the work allotted to each sphere as they pass through it making up that beautiful variety so much admired, yet all progressing toward the same end, or rather in the same channel.

Where there is life there is intelligence. The air gases produce both animate and inanimate. The mind consists of different attributes placed in perfect order in the head, and the body is arranged with a complete network of nerves so that the electricity produced by the food and drink that we take into the stomach, and the air we breathe supplies the brain with sustenance and produces a willing agent to send to every part of the body, so the prick of a pin cannot go unnoticed. There is perfect union between the nervous and the vascular system. The mind ruling the whole. There is something in the organization of the human body similar to the body of the church, the priesthood is the brain of the church, as the mind is of the body. And there must be a ruling power even among the attributes of the mind keeping their subordinate in subjection. All are good and useful in their place. The evils that arise are in consequence of letting these subordinates get the upper hand. There are some things that are open to my mind that I do not deem wisdom to write at the present time, but may some time in the future.

13^th – The young ladies society of the 12^th Ward was re-organized.

20^th – Brother Cushion came in and said I was wanted at the Lion House parlor at two o’clock punctual, as there was some important business to be attended to. I accordingly went and spent the whole afternoon, but none of the executors made their appearance. I believe it was necessary for the mothers to choose men to revalue the deeded property. As far as I heard them express themselves, they were of the mind to retain the appraisers appointed by the Court.

Dec. 2^nd – Len Hardy brought Bro. Symons in and they, together, administered to me. Symons is a strong man—I hardly know what to make of him, but fear he will not always remain in the church. This morning I left off my tea, I will try, I will try once more to keep the Word of Wisdom.

8^th – I sent a note to the executors asking for some means for Christmas and New Years. Josephine handed it to Bro. Carrington, he refused to take it. The executors treat the heirs as if they were poison. I don’t think I will ask them for anything more if I can help it. It is worse now to get anything than it used to be and it was bad enough then to suit me. I wish I had some way to get along without going to them and drawing from the estate.

10^th – Took my first article to the Exponent office with the Alphabet. I do not know how it will bake with the people, but expect it will meet with opposition, if it is noticed at all. But however it may be received, I feel a clear conscience in knowing that I have done my duty. The next Thursday I went to the office and read the proof sheet. But when the paper came out my piece was not in it. Now why it was taken out after it was in type I cannot imagine.

18^th – Mamie called on B. to get an answer to the note I had sent him a short time before, but he would giver her no answer, and treated her rather impolite.

19^th – William Rossiter brought me an order on John Hoslum store for thirty dollars, a part of what I asked for in my note.

21^st – Mamie and Josephine called on B. again to see if he could let me have something on the co-op, what I had asked for before. He seemed quite put out and treated them very unkindly, but B. Cannon was a little more pleasant. Bro. Carrington has treated us very unkind, he smites the girls whenever they have been to him and I guess he serves all the same way. I think if the executors would make some provision for the family it would be pleasanter for both parties. It seems they ought to give us something for Christmas.

22^nd – Attended the women suffrage meeting in the 14^th Ward. Some very good instruction was given.

24^th – H. B. Clawson went to the Executors in my interest but accomplished nothing.

25^th – It is Christmas today. It began to snow this morning and everything begins to look white as it should at Christmas. We have all got some presents, and Emily’s children have an abundance. A Christmas tree loaded with nice presents, besides several that are too large to hang on the tree, and lay under it.

I had nothing to get anything with, so did not give any presents; but hope I will have a chance to make it up to my children. I did want to sent Carl something as he is so far away, and it is good to be remembered by absent friends; but I think it is useless to ask the Executors for anything more. It is the same thing over again, some having an abundance and others must be scrimped, all in one family.

26^th – Christmas passed very pleasantly after all. Emily and the girls, Mamie and Josephine, had three or four of their friends to dinner. All seemed to enjoy themselves first rate. E and C gave me a pair of onyx earrings, and Josephine gave me a pair of pictures, Cupid and N. We wanted to have Carl here to complete our enjoyment.

29^th – Went sleigh riding in the President’s sleigh.

31^st – Received two nice books from Carlos.

Jan. 1^st, 1878 – Expect nothing but to stay at home in my loneliness. Too old for enjoyment. Emily has gone sleight riding with Hyrum.

3^rd – Attended our Relief Society meeting—just before we commenced the Bishop and first counselor came in. After we had gotten through with the business of the meeting, Bishop Piper arose and said he came in to say a few words to the sisters in behalf of the trustees of the school house. They wanted to manage the affairs of the house and he would be glad if the sisters would please not interfere. He repeated it the same several times in the course of his remarks, and wound up by saying he was too mad to talk and sat down. Now I was not a bit pleased with his remarks, because I did not think the sisters merited the rebuke. All they have done in that direction was because the bishop told our president, Sister Staines, he would throw that job out on to the sisters. My heart rebelled at it as soon as I heard of it, and I think the rest of the sisters felt the same.

Then to have him say, or intimate, that we were meddling with his affairs, I thought it an insult, and more so coming from him.

Why cannot our rulers be kind and considerate to the members of the ward? It seems that some men think because we are women that they are justified in kicking us right and left. We don’t want to interfere with his business. We have enough to do of our own and we would rather have our labors lightened than to have more laid upon us. Yet we are willing to do all we can in preparing the duties of the ward that belong to us as members of the Relief Society. I came home from meeting with a severe headache.

6^th – We are having very cold weather. Tolerable sleighing. It looks rather bad for men that have been with President Young for thirty or forty years, sustaining him and endorsing publically all his acts and teachings in his life, and preaching his principles and carrying out his precepts and acknowledging his superior authority. As soon as he is dead to seek to bring accusations against him, and imply in actions as well as in word, that he is guilty of embezzling from the Church one million dollars.

It may be best that the church have the property but I would rather they would take it on some other pretext than fraud on his part. I do not believe him guilty. It is a plot of some of his bosom friends to cast a foul blot on his honored name, and it will yet be proven against them and the evil they have sought to bring upon his name will fall upon their own heads. If I could believe him guilty I could have no confidence in the Twelve, or any other mortal. They offer to give the heirs an indemnifying bond, but of what use would that be if they don’t know whether it is right.

7^th – Did not sleep much last night for thinking, consequently do not feel very well today. Do not feel clear in my mind, what I shall do if I am called upon to do anything. About noon today Artie and Alphalus called to get my signature to a power of attorney, to be placed in the hands of William and Young lawyers, authorizing them to place an injunction on the property of the B.Y. estate. They told their story but I wished to hear both sides before I do anything of so great importance. So I held to my resolution, to not rush blindly but wait till the spirit of the Lord shows me my course plain. This I believe to be everyone’s privilege. I told E. to do as she felt. She signed the papers, Carlie’s name was there. After the boys were gone the clouds began to clear away from my mind, and I saw it was the safest plan to not oppose the Priesthood. I told E. I was sorry she had signed her name and she was sorry too. She put on her things and went right down to take her name off, and to get Carlie to do the same, which they both did, and I felt quite relieved. Sister Cobb came to see me to know what I had done in the matter. She felt as I did.

8^th – H.B.Clawson thinks that the boys course will have a good effect, as things begin to look more favorable.

10^th – I am sick again.

11^th – Got my Exponent, found my piece in it, also received word that the editor wished to see me. Will go down as soon as I am able.

12^th – Received a note containing an order on the Co-op for fifty dollars which came in good time as I am needing it badly . It was from the Executors.

20^th – Am feeling as well as usual again.

21^st – Went to the dentist and had two pieces of two teeth taken out. Paid 50 cents toward getting Sister E. R. Snow a birthday present. It was a book case she was pleased to be remembered.

25^th – Heard so many reports I thought it best to go to the Executors and find the truth of them. Bro. Carrington thought as some of the heirs had employed Legrand Young to see to their affairs, it would be better for the rest to do so too. I was willing to do so if they wished it. Bro. Weber and H.B. Clawson thought as Bro. Carrington did. But after I went out of the office I thought it not best to employ Legrand; consequently refused to sign the paper sent up which was the same as the boys had when they came. I called on Sister Snow, she felt as I did. I think H.B.C. is quite offended with me. E. and Cad have signed the paper over again unbeknown to me, their husbands having more influence over them than I have. Perhaps that is right. I do not wish to make discord in their families. They will learn by experience. I am willing to do all I can for my children that is reasonable and right. I have made some inquiries so as to be on the safe side.

30^th – I sent word to Bro. Hardy for council on the subject of employing Legrand. His council to me agreed with my own feelings, and that is not to sign my paper to employ a lawyer. It is his opinion that I will come out just as well as any of them if not better. I am certain of one thing, I shall have a clear conscience and that is better than all the property in the world. Sister Zina feels as I do in this matter.

Have paid the tailors of the United Order twenty-five dollars, five dollars being all the discount they will make. But I shall always feel that the superintendent has wronged me till he makes restitution. He did not keep his word; he not only charged about double what he agreed to make the ulster for, but he kept three yards of the cloth, over two dollars a yard. The ulsters were very plain, they were taken to other tailors and measured and they said there was only five yards in each. (thirteen being what we took there), and they would make them for five dollars apiece and furnish what was furnished for much less than the others charged. Mr. Goss also misrepresented us. What his object is in treating us as he has I can’t understand, it is the only time I ever had any dealing with him.

Feb. 1st – Whoever noticed when a hen hovers over her chickens when she has settled herself in her nest for the night with the little heads of her brood sticking out from her wings in every direction, that does not feel a sense of peace and trustfulness, and almost wish for some mothering wing to creep under that it might shield and protect them from the ills and dangers life has.

5^th – About half past nine o’clock this morning we received word to be at the Lion House at ten as Pres. Young’s private personal property was to be distributed among the family. We went down but through neglect or mismanagement, all were not notified, consequently several were absent. We waited for Willard to come from Ogden till noon, when business commenced. Brigham suggested that the articles be bid off. Several of the boys made remarks to the same effect. Heber said it was the only legal way of proceeding, but the wives that had no children had no right to bid. Willard was opposed to bidding, but thought it better to draw for them. After talking an hour or two without coming to any agreement, the meeting was adjourned for four weeks. My feelings are opposed to bidding, in this case, but am willing to coincide with the majority. It seems to me that bidding will cause confusion and clamor, and that I would hate to see on such an occasion. I do not like “grab game” under any circumstances, such things might do for childrens play, but is not hardly suitable for us at this time. Drawing might be conducted in a quiet and orderly manner, and without hard feelings, giving every one an equal chance. One has just as good a right as another, and should have the same chance.

Mar. 5^th – I attended the auction meeting at the “Gardo House.” The first articles presented was the jewelry—each one had the privilege of bidding till they got something, then to bid no more until all had received something. By the time they had gone around, it was noon. A committee was appointed to divide out the things in the afternoon, as it was thought best not to bid off the remainder. The meeting adjourned for one hour. In the afternoon things went a little one-sided, but would have done very well if that had been the last, but it took two days more to get through with the business. The second day, Legrand said before the family some other business pertaining to the debt of eighty thousand dollars the Estate owes the Church. He thought it would be best to pay it, although it could not be legally obtained, but if it was taken into Court the church should not have it until the last end of the cow’s tail.

Alphalus spoke very warmly and very unbecoming toward the Twelve and the Church. Oscar spoke in the same strain. Orta said he believed it was a just debt and ought to be paid, but he thought the Church ought not require the full interest. He thought Ellenbeck was dishonest and that he had worked to bring trouble on his father. No expression was taken from the meeting. Heber was drunk and made some little disturbance. But considering everything, the meeting went off as well as could be expected. If all are satisfied I am glad. It gave me very unpleasant feelings.

9^th – I feel like crying today. Have not gotten over the auction meeting. I wish there could have been some other way to dispose of those things. I seem to feel that I never will want to look at those things again.

Two or three days ago I received a letter from Sister Eliza L.—they got home safe. Carlie Lyman had been up to get married to Thomas Calister. She was married Feb. 14^th, 1878.

Extract. You may always measure the sensualibility of a man, by his disrespect for the opposite sex, and his moral purity, by his estimation of woman. This is a perfect thermometer of moral.

19^th – I and family were notified that a meeting would be held in the Lion House parlor at eleven o’clock of the Twelve, or those of the city, and the executors of the B.Y. Estate and heirs; to talk over and explain matters pertaining to the claims of the Trustee against the estate. Bro. Taylor, Pratt, Richards, Woodruff, Snow, F. Smith, and B. Young made some excellent remarks. They manifested a great deal of patience in explaining matters, and a kind feeling toward the family, anybody with the desire for the truth, would know the Twelve were men of God, and working for His interest. I felt it a great privilege to enter into their presence and shake hands with them, and hear their voices and partake of their council, and it is a source of joy that my children feel as I do. I realize that but few if any appreciate the privilege they have of mingling with such great and mighty men. I felt almost as greatly blessed as I would if I had been in a company of angels. Meeting adjourned until 10 o’clock the next day.

20^th – Attended the meeting and enjoyed it much, or the instructions of the Twelve; they spoke with mildness and with power. B. Young bore a strong testimony in favor of the proceedings of the Twelve, and I can bear my testimony by the spirit of God to the truth of their words. There seemed to be quite a dissenting spirit manifested by some of the family. Alphalus seemed most bitter in his feelings. Mahonri, Hyrum, and Oscar, did not show that respect I consider due to men holding the priesthood and in the position of the Twelve, but they were patient and condescending to the last degree. Harriett Cook attended and uttered her voice. She felt so bitter toward H. Cannon that she would not sign any paper that had his name on it. She thought that he had meddled with that, that it was none of his business in advising Pres. Young to alter his will. Oscar said it was putting forth his hand to steady the ark. A paper was drawn up showing satisfaction, by the signers, of the actions of the Twelve and executors in canceling the claims between the church and estate. There was quite a number of the family that did not sign the paper. Those that did sign, were: Mary Ann Young, Eliza R. Snow, Twis Young, Susan S., Augusta, Emily P., Margaret P., Emily Clawson, Miriam, Josephine, Luna, Fanny, John W. Young. Others will sign when they have an opportunity. I have forgot Julia, Maria, Zina, and several would not sign. The Twelve bore patiently the freaks of the boys, more so than seemed possible.

Meeting at the Lion House parlor Friday, April 19^th, 1878.

Bro. Taylor arose and stated the object of the meeting. He said there was a great many rumors afloat, and he thought a great misunderstanding existed between the Twelve and Pres. Young’s family. In consequence, they had met together to explain matters and try to come to some understanding and have good feelings if possible. He gave way for others to speak. Bro. Erastus did the most of the talking. He explained everything to the satisfaction of all who desired a correct understanding of those things pertaining to the church books, and the B.Y. Estate, or in others words, of Pres. Young’s affairs. But some did not seem to want to understand and were determined not to feel or do right.

Bro Joseph F. Smith, F. D. Richards, B. Young, W. Woodruff made some excellent remarks. The Twelve remained about four hours talking and answering questions to satisfy the boys if possible. As quite a number of the family were absent, and Alphalus, the most turbulent one, was not present, they concluded to adjourn until the next day at ten o’clock, desiring the boys present to influence Alphalus to come the next day if they could.

Meeting Saturday April 20^th, 1878. The meeting was opened by singing, “Come Let Us Anew.” Prayer by F. D. Richards. Bro. Snow arose to continue his explanations. He was frequently interrupted in a rather disrespectful manner by some of the boys. Alphalus and Mahonri showed a great deal of contempt. Alphalus warned Bro. Snow to be careful what he said, as he (Alphalus) should use his words against him in court. He considered all the Twelve said there to us was “soft soap.” Mamie felt so indignant at Alphalus she could hardly hold her peace. She said in an undertone, although loud enough for him to hear if he was a mind to “nothing could make you softer than you are.” Meaning Alphalus of course.

Mahonri said to Bro. Snow, supposing that the minors, when they became of age, should sue them for their share of the property that had been deeded over to the Church, would he give it back rather than have them to go the law? Bro. Snow could not tell what they or their successors might do. They would have to be governed by circumstances. They had principles to maintain. And Bro. Taylor as trustee had a duty to perform to the Church as well as to Pres. Young’s family. But as far as he was concerned, he would rather every dollar was in the bottom of the sea rather than to have those books dragged into court. We can understand how it is that they are in the condition that they are in, but they could not be explained to the world only in two ways, either Pres. Young had robbed the people or defrauded the government. He hoped the boys would think well on these things and withdraw their suit before it was too late. The brethren showed a great deal of forbearance. They pled and exhorted the boys to do right and shield and protect their father’s honor, and the honor of his family.

They said if these books go into the hands of the attorneys, as they would if the boys persisted in going to law, it would open a volcano and bring down such an avalanche of persecution as was never known before in this church. And shame and disgrace upon Pres. Young’s family and dishonor upon his sacred name. Harriett Cook squeaked out from one corner, “Bro. Snow, don’t you think that Bro. Cannon was very unwise in counciling Pres. Young to alter his will? I think he ought to apologize to us. I never can or never will sign any paper that has George Q. Cannon’s name on it.” Oscar thought --- was putting forth his hand to steady the ark. (I think that is the boy’s position.) Bro. Snow said he would not attempt to justify Bro. Cannon. Bro. C. was sorry and would not have done it if he had known the state of Pres. Young’s affairs. After about four hours was spent and all of the Twelve had spoken that were present, Bro. Pratt prayed and the meeting was dismissed. A paper was prepared for the family to sign, showing that we were satisfied with the Twelve. Some signed and some did not. Hyde was not willing to sign then. The suit has since been withdrawn.

May 27^th – Len Hardy asked my consent to his marrying Mamie. I, of course, gave it. The happiness of my children is first in my mind.

May 28^th – “Without intending any disrespect for young ladies, we charge against them, that they are the leaders in this matter of extravagant weddings.” This is what I read this morning in a piece called “Fashionable Weddings.” Almost every paper I take up has something to say about girls extravagance. What shall we do with our girls? The female sex in general is blamed for all the faults of society. Now I think the fault is mutual (there may be exceptions in both cases). If the females are weak and degenerate, are not the males too? A reformation with both sexes would be beneficial to society.

I cannot understand how it is that men having mothers, sisters, wives, and daughters can indulge in so much pleasure in disparaging woman. Do they not know the close relationship existing between the two sexes; that it takes both to make a whole, and if dishonor is attached to one it is attached to both? Man and woman keep pace with each other; they are of an equal balance in the scales of moral and intellectual worth, speaking of a whole. If one rises the other rises, if one falls the other falls, they are inseparable. If a man wants to disparage his own sex let him disparage woman. One writer says truly “You may always measure the sensualbility of a man by his disrespect for the opposite sex, and his moral purity, by his estimate of woman. This a perfect thermometer of moral purity.”

Women’s extravagance is a good excuse for men’s not marrying, but what about their own extravagance. I suppose all their indulgences are necessary. The gratification of all their wants and desires is not extravagance; because they hold the purse strings; they earn the money that supports the family; while the woman works all her life for the interest of her husband and family and is grudged a liberal supply of food and clothing. She must not indulge in any luxuries, that would be extravagance, and might curtail some of the husband’s pleasures; and poor man—to work so hard, and have others use his hard earnings even if it is his own family, it is heart-rendering. Does not man know that if woman was all he wishes her to be and he what he is, that he would not be a fit companion for her? She would be beyond his reach—too good for him.

The world needs regenerating. But let both sexes unite in their effort of reforming it; then we may see some good accomplishments. It is of no use for each to try to make the other reform. They must work together. Their destinies are together. The ladies do not want to outstrip the gentlemen. They should keep along by their side. Now if men will only realize that they are no more perfect than the women, and will begin to reform themselves, it will be an easy matter to bring “the girls” up to their standard of perfection. I was reading not long ago some poetry where a man portrays the virtues woman should have before he would marry. I thought, poor fool! If woman was all you require her to be, you would be alone in the world, for she would not wish to contend with a being so much her inferior. Let the work of reformation begin with both sexes, then the results will be beneficial.

Now although I differ with the writer of “Fashionable Wedding,” I do not agree with “Bachelor,” but I feel the most profound contempt for the sentiments he has advanced.

He asks, “Are there not too many children already? Is the market not already overstocked with bone and sinew that cannot be employed?” I answer, yes, if they are all like him without brains. Who with any get-up to them would ask such a question or advance such an idea with all the land laying unoccupied there is in America. The Mormons have shown what can be done with the desert land, if bone and sinew are combined with brains. I think the difficulty with the young men such as Bachelor is, they want work without labor. They want to live luxuriously without exercising the “bone and sinew” and he is too selfish to take a wife with a prospective family of ten or fifteen children. If he had such a family depending on his exertion he might find out what bone and sinew can do. But he is not worthy of a wife and should have no family. The secret is he is too selfish and lazy to accept employment or he would find something to do. But he would rather sponge his living than work for it. The idea that the world is over-peopled. Does he think this earth was made for a certain few like himself? Now I would suggest that instead of imprisoning and fining those who have families that every child legitimately born has a premium awarded, and bachelors opposed to marriage and procreation, made to pay it. If the world is over-peopled, kill off the drones as the bees do and make room for good and useful souls to dwell on the earth. When I read such articles and realize that such men have a place upon this earth, I no longer wonder the Lord has purposed to destroy the nations from off the face of the earth, and, although I pity their sufferings, my heart responds to his wise decrees.

“Stop this wholesale baby importation. They are not appreciated when they do come.” What ideas to be advanced by a rational being. Why procreation the legitimate way is the greatest work allotted to man, and none but fools would despise it. Not appreciate children! Why the earth would be hell without their innocence and purity to sweeten the bitter cup of life. I hope there are not many such creatures calling themselves men; but I fear there are too many for the good of society. Wipe them out if need be, but don’t hinder others from coming and taking tabernacles and preparing themselves for usefulness. None are truly happy but those possessing husbands and wives and children. Ane none are worthy of happiness but those who are willing to provide for a family, and contribute to the advancement of the great work of the Gods upon this earth.

June 4^th – My mother is very sick at Oak City. I would like to go and see her but I am afraid I shall not be able. She is very old and a dear good mother. We are very much annoyed with some impudent woman living at the hospital. They seem to think that anything they can do to injure a Mormon is justifiable. When we go outdoors they holler at us in a way to insult us, being perfect strangers, it is very annoying.

Can we over-do in a good cause? Can we be too energetic? Can we force matters to that degree that more evil is produced than good? Is there not as much virtue in patient waiting as in doing? Do we not often defeat our own ends by being over zealous? These questions arose in my mind in consequence to a conversation I had with a good and zealous sister. Now it seems to me that a certain amount of time is required to bring about events.

What would have been the condition of this earth if God had been over anxious to see the completion of His work, and finished it up in six of our days instead of six thousand years. It takes a certain amount of time for a cause to produce a desired effect. If we plant a seed it requires time to spring forth and produce a tree. If we are impatient and dig it up to see if it is sprouting, we hinder its advancement and perhaps destroy it altogether. So I think that we can do more injury than good many times by over anxiety ever in a good cause. In the case of bringing up children parents often destroy the good and noble attributes of their offspring by forcing them to receive that which they cannot understand. They feed them meat when they should have milk. Wisdom should be used in teaching or feeding the minds of children as well as in feeding the stomach. The mind is gradually developed year by year and should receive nourishment according to its capacity. Some seem to think the mind should be able to recover all good at once but this is a mistaken idea. The brain can be over fed; and bad effects produced, in clogging the mind. We would not think it wise to send a child to school and put it in the second reader before it had learned its letters. Wisdom is what we lack. Our desires are good but we are apt to create an iron bedstead for ourselves and wish to measure everybody both old and young by it. Now we should remember that all are not alike—some are capacitated to receive more than others. We might compare the mind to a stream of water flowing down from the mountain and spreading over the land, doing much damage for the want of proper attention. A foolish man would get angry to see so much evil wrought and make a great ado fretting and scolding, trying to dam up the water to prevent injury to his fields, but the water would break through the embankment in every direction, muddy and angry, doing still more damage than before. But when a wise man came along and took the situation at a glance, he immediately went to work and dug a channel for the water to run in and no more trouble ensued. The water settled and ran clear and pure and instead of annoying. It proved a great blessing to man and his field. Now which was the most to blame—the man or the water? The man worked hard to dam it up but lacked wisdom. Such a course never could have accomplished what he desired. He did not understand the nature of water or he would have taken a different course. It is the same with children. We must understand them and lead them along by making a channel for their minds to run in. The mind cannot be damned up and no one should attempt it, for the result will be evil. So we can see the necessity of possessing the Holy Spirit of the Lord to guide us in these duties.

10^th – This morning have received two telegrams—one from Omaha stating that Carl will be home tomorrow evening. The other from Fillmore stating Mother died last night. I do so wish I could be there but it is impossible. It is a satisfaction to know my dear good mother is at rest. It does not seem like death, but more like life.

11^th – Carlos arrived home from Troy.

28^th – My children and grandchildren had an outing to Calder’s Farm. The wind blew hard all day but we had a very pleasant time considering everything; had a row on the lake. I feel better for going. If I could get out more I would feel better. Lately I have felt like the nightmare from which I would like to awaken. The settling of the estate and the girls talking of getting married, and Carlos going back to school and all together makes me feel so lonely that I hardly know whether I exist or not. I feel as I would imagine a person would if they were going to be hung, continuously looking for a hole to creep out at but when none if found, wishes it would hasten up and have it over with. But I must throw off this despondent feeling or it will shorten my days. There is much I want to do for the dead. When I compare my situation with some others, I think I have no reason to complain. But I am mortal and things trouble me that should not, more would not if I were more perfect. I mean to accept my situation with as good grace as possible. I know the Lord will over rule for the best and it is better to fall into His hands than into the hands of the world.

July 3^rd – Received from the estate fifty dollars. Josephine and Mamie were denied their portion or monthly allowance. I do not see any justice in the course the executors take in managing the estate. They make some of the classes rich while some are poorer than they were before. I hope they will receive their reward whether for good or evil.

July 4^th – I had a very pleasant ride with Len. I have Mamie to thank for it.

10^th – Went to the lake, not to bathe but to see the bathers. The lake was very calm and was soon dotted with human heads for a short space. I got very tired but think it will do me good. I need a change in several respects. I am taking Peruvian bark steeped in wine. I think I feel stronger since I commenced to take it.

14^th – Just before sunset there was the most beautiful rainbow I ever saw. It was bright from one end to the other, spanning the heavens, above was a solid blue-gray color, below was a solid pink gray, rather bright.

18^th – My class is called to settle today—I hope they do better than we at first anticipated.

19^th – Met with the executors at the Gardo House, but had no success in settling, as they do not intend to deal justly with us. I am disappointed in brother ---------- he seems very one-sided. I do not feel very well toward the executors, they show too much partiality in administering the estate.

20^th – The executors have adjourned without effecting a settlement with my class. It looks dark in regard to my class’s obtaining any show of justice, but we are in the hands --------------------.(clipped out)

Aug.19^th – Called at the Lion House, visited Eliza Young.

In reading papers and books we often see subjects commented on and different views portrayed. Of late, the subject of politeness has several times crossed my notice; and in reading the writers viewpoint I have been lead to ask myself—what is true politeness? Of what does it consist? It is a certain form of words, a certain motion of the hands, or a particular ceremony to be carried out. Is it any more polite to use two words instead of one in answering a question? Of course, every country has its ideas of politeness, but because one differs from another, does it prove their lack of politeness or kindness? It seems to me that true politeness is the out-pouring of a kind and benevolent heart; that more is implied in the tone than the words. If I ask a question and I am answered in a civil tone “yes or no” as the case may be, I am just as well satisfied as though it were “yes, thank you,” or “Yes, Sir, or please ma’am.” I do not like so much ceremony. I like what speaks from the heart—even kindness in a rough way is better than such deceit. I like open honesty better than the cloak of hypocracy. Too much corruption and deceit is concealed by the outward show of etiquette. I like that which is natural and simple, even though it be yea, yea and nay, nay without any superfluities. Let actions correspond with the feelings of the heart. Away with false ceremonies and deceitful words. Where there is true politeness in the heart, none need take offence at the manner it is shown.

The forms of etiquette belonging to one notion is no more a criterion of politeness than another. I well know that but few will agree with me here. People are so encrusted with sectarian notions; and certain ideas are so implanted in their minds that it would be like tearing their heart strings to eradicate them. It is true that habit becomes second nature and that ideas, whether true or false, implanted when young seem best and people don’t like to yield them up. Anything else shocks their sense of propriety.

Aug. 28^th – Mamie is married.

30^th – The dreaded day, the wedding, is over. Mamie has moved away. I hope she will be happy. I think she has got a good husband. I wish I could see as far in prospect for ------------. The future looks dark and gloomy. I would avert sorrow from her path if it was in my power. But we are in the hands of the Lord and he has all power to do as seemeth him good. I pray he will avert every evil and give us strength sufficient for our day. Let come what will. I will trust in the Lord. The rough deep waters overwhelm me yet will I look to Him, for he ----(clipped out).

Oct. 27^th – Last night after going to bed I felt troubled in my mind about something. I could not feel reconciled to having B.W. Carrington’s family spend the winter here. It puts me out very much, although they have not been here but two weeks, I resolved to ask him as a favor to get another place. I arose and partly dressed and wrote the following letter.

Salt Lake City, Oct. 26^th, 1878

Mr. B.W. Carrington:

Sir: I find that I am unable to endure the noise and worry that I am subject to. I have greatly inconvenienced myself by renting so much of my house, and have made myself very uncomfortable by doing so. I am now going to ask as a favor that you will find another place by the middle of next month. I am sorry to trouble you so soon, but think it better to speak now than to wait until mid-winter. I feel sure that it will be impossible for me to live this way until spring.

The rent that will be due me you can have to pay the expense of moving. I blame myself for consenting in the first place, to give up my rooms.

Hoping you will pardon me, I remain

Emily. P. Young

I will help them all I can, but unless he will try to help himself and stop playing cards and visiting drinking saloons, and show by his works that he desires to reform, all that I can say in his favor will be as a drop in the bucket. He has got to make a mighty effort himself if he ever lives down the bad name he has brought upon himself by his follies. He can do so if he manifests a desire to do so, but he will have to take a wise course in the future. Evils cannot always be covered up. There is an eye that sees all the secret acts of men and will expose them sooner or later and reward them accordingly.

Oct. 29^th – I have not sent my letter to him as P. told him all that was necessary. If he continues to do well I shall cross out what I have written before in the bitterness of my heart, but it will take a long time.

Nov. 1^st – About noon a strange woman came to the door with a baby in her arms, five weeks old, looking for a place to work for her board. We did not need her and she went away. I little before dark she came back and asked if she could stay all night. I told her “No” we could not keep her. She turned away and began to cry. That aroused my sympathy and I thought it would never do to turn her away without making some inquiries. She said her name was Burbank. She had been confirmed five weeks before, at the Sisters Hospital. In answer to my question, she said she had nowhere to go; she had been stopping at Green’s boarding house, she had not one cent of money. She could not go back there—would not go back there. I told her to go back to the hospital and if they would not keep her to come back and I would see what I could do for her. She soon came back and said they could not keep her. They thought she had not done just right by them in leaving when her baby was ten days old, and saying things about them they did not like. I said to come in and tell me her story and then I shall know better what to do. She began to tell me about her friends but cried so bitterly that I could not understand her. I said you must calm yourself or I cannot hear what you say. She did not want to lay in the street with her baby. If she could only find her sister, did I know where she was, and would I find her for her. Her name is Root, lives in New York, but thinks she is here, is that her? as Josephine came into the room. I see so many familiar faces I think they are my relatives. But I don’t know, my mother lives in Brookport, New York, her name is Mrs. A.C. Brockway, my sister lives in Sweden Center, New York, a cousin lives in Chicago, name Ira Holmes, did not know where her husband’s two half-brothers were. Did not know where her husband was. Thought he was dead, he was dead to her. Seemed to feel very bad about her husband, has had six children, one died in New York, buried in Greenwood Cemetery. Four were born in Saviena and died there. The babe in her arms was all she had left. His name is George. Would I find her friends. Oh, she would be so glad. I soon found by talking with her that she was partially insane, but after she got calmed down she could talk perfectly rational. Nothing would induce her to go back to Greenick, neither would she tell the reason why she could not go back. Bert went over to the hospital and made arrangements for her to go there as the sisters had concluded to take her in. A parcel had been left there for her. After coaxing her sometime she consented to go if Bert would open the bundle for her. He assured her several times that he would open the bundle if she would go. She went very reluctantly, pleading and crying to stay with me. I could not keep her—neither could I send her away. But she went with Bert carrying her baby. In a few minutes she came back with one of the girls she called Ella, leaving her baby at the hospital. She came up to me as though for protection and said she could not stay there. She wanted to stay here, O, do let me stay here and have one nights rest. I want to stay with you, Ella, you fetch my baby. Nothing would induce her to go back and stay at the Hospital. I consented that she should stay here and got her to lie down on the lounge. She soon began to scream and beg me to take it off from her, thinking something was on her. I saw this was no place for her while she was in that condition. She needed medical aid. She was taken again to the hospital. About nine o’clock the next morning the sisters sent me word she was dead, having died a few minutes before. We all felt very bad for the poor woman, Mrs. Dasie Carrington brought the baby home and cared for it.

Nov. 3^rd – The sisters brought her husband to me. I am glad he is found and wish she could have lived to see him. He seemed to feel very bad. I don’t know if any blame is ascribed to him or not. I have written to Mrs. Brockway as I agreed. I sometimes feel bad that I let that woman go back to the hospital, but don’t know what I could have done different. If I ever have an opportunity to do anything for her spiritual welfare, I will do it with pleasure.

When the Lord pronounced the sentence upon Eve “I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception” she received it as a curse; but when he said “And thy husband shall rule over thee” it was a curse in every deed; doubled and tripled; implying that she or her posterity would be subject to all the afflictions in life that men could invent or devise.

Nov. 11^th – I was somewhat amused while reading in the Evening News the reports of a meeting of our gentile sisters. Or the anti-polygamous women of Utah.

They are very much annoyed because they can’t find out what is done in that Endowment House. Not even from apostates can they learn the awful secrets. They are indignant because they can’t make the Mormons break their covenants (for the Mormons are a covenant people according to the word of the Lord. I will have a covenant people; also a tried people) saith the Lord. And then the millions of dollars the Mormons expend in building Temples, and what nice and comfortable homes they have; how our fingers itch to grasp their wealth and to rob them of their possessions; and of their happiness. If Congress would pass laws and legislate specially for the Mormons; then we might break up their family ties and family associations. Then we could make it so hot for them that they would be obliged to leave the country, as they have done heretofore. Then could we, pure and self-righteous as we are, enjoy the spoils. Poor souls, how I pity them; for I have often heard it said the greatest Hell that exists is to want to and can’t.

Now if they don’t like our society and our institutions our manners and customs, why do they follow us up. We don’t need them, we can get along without them. The world is wide and there is room enough without crowding upon us.

Let them do as we have done, go to some place that is uninhabited and redeem the desert and make it blossom as the rose and produce from the elements the necessities and comforts of life. And instead of being parasites, make themselves independent and self-sustaining.

I wonder how they would like to have us interfere with their family relations and petition Government to abolish marriage or compel them to go into polygamy, because we chose to have it so. It would be just as consistent for us to do so, as for them to interfere with our private affairs. We mind our own business, and would like others to do the same.

It is evident they want to make a splurge and bring their names into notoriety. They think they are smarter than their predecessors and that they are going to accomplish the downfall of Mormonism at this late day. Fools that they are; why can’t they see that if the Lord designed that this people and their institutions should be destroyed it would have been done years ago. It has been the aim of the world, ever since this church was first organized, to uproot it, and if they could not do it when it was weak they will not be able to now. The Lord will preserve the innocent and while we trust and serve Him we fear not that a few foolish women can do. Their efforts are to injure us, but the result will be the accomplishment of their own shame and disgrace. So ladies splurge away! All you can do or say against us will result in good for those who serve the Lord. We acknowledge his hand in all things; and believe all things will renown to his honor and glory.

If they think the air is tainted with polygamy it must be their own breath for there is no bad smell from anything so pure as the principles of plural marriage.

Nov. 16^th – I attended the woman’s mass meeting this afternoon; but being seated in the second circle and surrounded by Mormon wives, every other one having a baby and the rest having two, I was unable to hear much that was said.

However, I was pretty well charged with the spirit of the meeting, and occupying an exalted position in the house I could look down upon the sisters and commune with them in a spirit. As follows:

You, my sisters, who rightfully represent the women of Utah: You who are the first settlers of these valleys, who hold the right of possession. You who have born the burden in the heat of the day and suffered untold privations, in crossing the desert plains, some pulling handcarts, weak for the want of food and water, laying your dead friends by the way. You who have been driven from city to city, from county to county, from state to state, and finally thrust out from the United States. Robbed of your homes time after time, and much much toil and suffering, soon you found a home in the midst of the rocky mountains far from civilization, surrounded by Indians, almost devoured by wolves and crickets, sustained only by the power of God. You who have suffered all this, and much more for your religion, can you—will you hold your peace and see your homes invaded, your sacred ties rent asunder, your husbands calumniated, your children bastardized; your names cast out as a reproach, your purity assailed by women of doubtful character, I say can you and I see these things, and not raise our voice in protest against them. Shall we defend our religion and the institutions of heaven? Who are our calumniators, but the vilest of the vile. They look upon our pleasant homes with greedy eyes. Their fingers itch to lay hold of our possessions. It grieves them to think of so many millions of dollars spend in building Temples, and then they can’t find out what is done in those temples. They have waited long, and worked hard to overthrow Mormonism, and to oust this people that they might take the spoils. They begin to be tired of waiting, and fearful it may yet slip through their fingers, if they don’t make a desperate effort, and roust all hell to work with them. Polygamy is the burglar. They raise a great hue and cry about plural marriage. It shocks their purity, that two women should be acknowledged as the wives of one man, and their children acknowledged and cared for. And then they are shocked at the number of children we have. I suppose they like bachelors think the world was made expressly for them.

If they want to do good why don’t they turn their attention and sympathy where it is needed. We can take care of ourselves. We do not want their interference. We know what we are about and we know what they are about. We are capable of judging for ourselves what will make us happy. We know what these ominous, cloudy, portends, we have learned by bitter experience the indications of the spirit of persecution. What if our eyes are sad if our hearts are satisfied. If we look weary and worn, who can wonder when they know the sufferings that we have endured, brought upon us by the sympathetic hordes that follow in our path. We are American citizens, our rights are sacred, we have broken no laws, we mind our own business, we do not interfere with anyone not even our enemies, but we would like them to keep hands off, and tongues still, if they cannot speak the truth. We would do good to all mankind, and especially would we help the women in their struggle for right, our sympathies are with them. We feel for the weak and oppressed in every land. Our hearts are drawn out in kindness for suffering humanity. God has created mankind for a purpose. And that purpose is to produce their own specie and perpetuate life. How short sighted a person must be to think the Lord considers nought but themselves worthy of happiness. The designs of the Almighty are as broad as Eternity and His works have no end. And the puny arms of a few foolish women, backed by as many vile and corrupt men will not have power to impede His kingdom. The engine of truth will move on firm and steady, crushing all who oppose it. The principles of polygamy on Plural Marriage are as pure as the Gods. It is not that that causes the foul stench that taints the air, it is the corruption of our assailants that breeds pestilence.

Polygamy tends to ennoble and glorify. It was not installed for those who love wickedness and would trample on the gems of heaven. It has been given to earth for the benefit of those who love truth and righteousness. It is true, that every good principle is often abused. The vile cannot live happy in polygamy. It does not belong to them. And those that condemn it are not free from guilt.

And I would say to the intelligent and honorable ladies of the Christian world, do not accept the misrepresentations and lies that are thrown broadcast but investigate our principles—our works. The tree is known by its fruits.

You cannot tell by the froth and scum what the genuine article is. Our daily lives are open to the scrutiny of the world. If there are evils in our midst, they are not countenance by our leaders. The Gospel net gathers of all kinds, both good and bad. A separation will take place sooner or later. The good remain in the church. The bad turn away. Our principles are pure and wholesome and we defy the world to prove to the contrary.

Now sisters of the world, do not turn a deaf ear to the cries of injured innocence.

Advocate the cause of justice, and as you hope for help from Almighty God in your struggle for freedom and right, put forth a helping hand to defend the injured and oppressed women of Utah. Not oppressed and down-trodden by our husbands; but by those who stir up strife calling themselves Anti-Mormons. They seek to rob and destroy us under the cloak of friendship. They join hands with prostitutes to crunch polygamy. If the course that Governor Emery recommends in disposing of polygamy and its adherents should be a carried out, there will be many more polygamist than are found among the Mormons. And many more men and women to punish than will be found among the Latter-day Saints.

But should the whole world join hands against us, yet do we stand innocent before God, and know he will not forsake us. He will take us through the fire unscathed as he has done before. Our enemies may be permitted to shed our blood; but we will stand by our religion and our church institutions. We will defend the sanctity of our homes, our families and associations; the purity of our marriage and the honor of our husbands; to the death, God being our helper. And let all say Amen.

Nov. 18^th – I sent a written notice to B.W. Carrington to move out of my house; he sent back a very impudent reply. I got Bro. Resister to help me, and I think he will oust them.

19^th – Bro. Cannon brought me $50.00.

20^th – There is some signs of the Carringtons going. I don’t think they intend to pay any rent or pay for the gas and water they have used. They have been very insulting since they have been here.

23^rd – The Carringtons sold out their household goods, but did not leave here until Monday the 25^th. They have gone to the Cliff House. They have acted very foolish since they have been here.

26^th – Turned on the gas again, which has been turned off on account of the Carringtons using so much and not paying for it.

30^th – I am having the erysipelas again. I have not had it since Oct. 9^th. The littel Homanes Liver pad is with the help of the Lord doing wonders for me. My cow strayed away last Thursday the 28^th and as I have no one to take any interest in my affairs to look for her, I may never see her again. And if I do she will likely be dry. If somebody had spent one hour looking for her, she might have been found all right. Procrastination is a thief, robber, and those who are ruled by it are always behind time.

Dec. 1^st – I am sick. Have not been able to get out of bed today. Bro. Hardy and Pyper and Len administered to me.

2^nd – I am much better today.

4^th – We, the women of Utah, are more or less agitated, and feel quite incenced with the movements of the Anti-Polygamous women of our city to deprive us of our rights and privileges as American citizens who are forming themselves, into societies, that they may better accomplish our ruin. And could we feel otherwise, we would be unworthy of the name of wife or mother, but as it is we feel the utmost contempt for those meddlesome friends who are taking such active steps to regulate our family affairs. And while we are justly indignant with them, let us make room in our minds for another important subject—The Word of Wisdom. I wish it might be sent to every territory in the state with instructions for the saints to write and talk about it in their meetings and in all their social gatherings. Do we as a people realize the importance of those precious words? Do we accept them as the word of God unto us? Are they observed by this people as they should be? Could we find fifty Latter day Saints in this territory who abstain from tea, coffee, whiskey, and tobacco, or considering that it is worthwhile to even give it a thought? Is it not high time to wake up and open our eyes and look about us? If the Lord had no purpose in giving the word of wisdom, why did he take the trouble to give it? And if it is not necessary for us to observe it, what is the use of having it? Do we not know that all stimulants taken into the stomach are unhealthy? We see our little ones swept from our midst, one here, two there, and four and five of one family, stricken down one after the other with this dreadful diphtheria. Do we realize that there is a cause and also a remedy for these things? Does not common sense tell us that their little bodies are charged with impurities, and their blood is thoroughly impregnated with poison inherited from their parents? It affects the little ones more readily than it does the older ones. I do not address the ladies because I think the remedy lays altogether with them. No, the gentlemen are more culpable, they take far more poison into their systems than the women. I have heard of one or two women who drink whiskey to excess. And it may be that a few old ladies smoke their pipes, but I have seen nothing of the kind for years, and as to chewing tobacco, the worst poison of all, I don’t think one lady can be found in the whole community that indulges in the filthy practice. Of course, it is not our province to teach the elders their duty but we can plead and importune with them, but if they will persist in polluting their bodies with these filthy poisons, the Lord may find a remedy they think not of.

When the word was sent forth to the sisters to store up grain, they went forth to work with a will, gleaning and buying until at this time, I don’t think there is a settlement in the territory but what has considerable wheat garnered up. But sisters what good will the wheat do you if your houses are left desolate. Can you not see that something must be done to promote health and life? Something to regenerate the human family? Let us begin by observing the word of wisdom. There is a promise in that we can claim. The evil that have been done cannot altogether be undone, but those who may yet be fathers and mothers should think of these things, and not contract unhealthy and degenerating habits. But do anything and everything that the human family may be healthier and happier. Dr.--- says “Habit is second nature.” How important then it is that we should form such habits as will tend to develop mental vigor instead of physical decay and mental imbecility. He also says if half the time and money expended to cover health had been timely devoted to the preservation of health, life would be a more enjoyable and less expensive luxury.”

We are a people that believe in revelation; but how little heed do we give to its teachings. Sisters, it is time to should be dispensed with. Our dress from head to foot needs revising. We can hear good lectures and read good books, and receive the word of the Lord, and the teachings of wise men. Yet with all this knowledge that we receive how slow are the listeners to reason. We would rather suffer with ill health all our lives, and see our little ones pass away from us, one by one, that to part with our darling stays (something like a girdle), and our tight thin shoes, which two articles cause more sickness and death than any other portion of woman’s dress. The hardest thing for us to do is to face public opinion as far as regards dress. We care too much for what people may think of our looks. Why should we care what they say or think of us, if we know we are in the line of our duty, and the Lord and all sensible people commend us. Do you think the Lord and his angels think any less of us, for our waist being large as it should be, or our feet have the chance to spread to its natural size.

Let the sisters one and all take the advice of Dr. Fairchild and cremate every corset in the territory, and make room for healthy circulation of the blood, or in other words make room for life to dwell in our bodies. If we feel indifferent about our own health and life let us have some consideration for our posterity. A great responsibility rests upon this people in regard to future generations, and unless we take heed, we will come under condemnation.

The Lord has a great work for this people to do and it will take all the health and strength, might and power, we can muster. Some may say, “Oh, the Lord will give us strength when we need it.” But my dear sisters, the Lord is not like our Anti polygamous friends. He will not force health and happiness upon us, but he will help us to obtain it if we will follow his instructions. Now I think we have got something to do, and I think it is time we set ourselves about it before our little ones are all taken from us, and we are left desolate to mourn in sorrow. What can be more desirable than a strong and healthy constitution. To see our sons and daughters grow up mighty men and women in Israel. If the physical strength is good, the mind will be more energetic, and more susceptible to good teachings. There is a complete sympathy between the spirit and the body, more than a great man imagines. They are inseparable in progression. If the spirit leaves the body, it dies. And I think the soul can make but little advancement separated from the body. For the last few years of Bro. Young’s life he tried every way to impress upon the minds of the people the necessity of reforming, both in dress and food.

How to promote the most good should be our constant study. Pork should be thrown to the dogs. It is generally pork eaters that are troubled with tumors and cancer and all kinds of human ailments. They are more liable to take the small pox, and all kinds of filthy diseases. Educated men and women cry against these things. And while I write, the vision of my mind is opened and I see where our folly is leading us to. I see death instead of life bequeathed to our children and yet our eyes are closed, and we persist in our death dealing course. I would I had the voice of an angel that it might penetrate the heart of every man and woman, and rouse them to a sense of their danger. Latter Day Saints wake up and save your children. Let common sense have fair play. Be governed by reason. Listen to the word of wisdom. Look about and see where you stand, and where you are drifting to. These are not things of small moment. Great events depend upon our course at the present time. Already have we procrastinated too long. A speedy reformation must be inaugurated if we would escape intolerable sorrow.

Dec. 16^th – Th Carringtons sent and got some of their things that they left helter skelter all over the house.

19^th – Emily’s sixth child was born, a girl, she looks like Kate. I drew a stell engraved picture from Savages. “Florence Nightingale,” a five dollar ticket.

20^th – Mamie and Josephine gave me a beaver fur, a dolman, and eight dollars and seventy cents for a Christmas present.

25^th – Christmas morning—all are bright and happy. The presents are profuse. All are trying to make each other happy. If Carlos was here we would be a happy family. I have spent about fifty dollars in presents for my children.

28^th – We found our cow, only two blocks away. I think someone had her shut up and milked. She has been gone just one month today.

Jan. 1^st 1879 – The ground is white with snow. I feel very thankful that it is as well with me and mine as it is.

Jan. 16^th – The snow is coming down plentifully. When I awoke this morning, my mind reverted back to some of the reminiscences of my past life.

And as there is not much that is pleasant, it of course, brings sorrowful feelings and I am weak enough to cry. And that is what I have been doing this morning until I saw it was making me sick, and had to desist. I know I am too old to cry or to have any feelings of pleasure or pain; as many seem to think. But if my body grows old, my spirit seems to retain its youth and susceptibility. It is impossible for the young to understand the needs of the aged. Experience is the schoolmaster and the only one that can teach us everything and impress it upon our minds indelibly.

17^th – The decision of the Supreme Court of the United States in the Renals case is calculated to rouse the indignation of the Latter-Day Saints. And many express great pity for Bro. Renals. Do I pity him? Not if he is the man I think he is. If I was a man I would envy his position today. He is the peoples offering. And their prayers will ascend to the Almighty. And the care will be around and about him. When I view his case with a prophetic eye I see no cause for pity. Pity! I pity the ignorance of our opponents, and I despise their temerity.

Bro. Renals is guilty of no crime, if he suffers it will be for the principles of Truth and Right. He is the Isaac and Abraham is about to offer him up as a sacrifice. And as in Isaac’s case, a Ram will be caught in the thicket and anti-polygamy humans will hang on the gallows erected for Mordica (polygamy). While Mordica is clothed in costly raiment, and a crown of gold placed upon his head, and the nations will bow in homage before him.

Jan 17^th – Margaret P. Young invited me to a surprise party at the Lion House in honor of Sister Snow’s birthday. She also wished me to send a toast and accordingly I prepared the following.

The Honorable Women of the Civilized World—may their efforts to gain the right of franchise be crowned with victory. And may their influence and power be used in maintaining the cause of justice.

And may their gratitude to God shine forth in all their works, by espousing the cause of injured innocence; and extending a friendly hand to the weak and feeble, and binding up the bruised and broken hearts. And so long as they shall strive to promote good, may they enjoy “Sweet Liberty and Equal Rights.”

18^th Ward Relief Society

May it grow and increase until its goodness shall radiate and bless thousands with its fostering care, and may its members, in due time, enjoy all the blessings, beauties, and glories of Zion.

The Surprise Party

May it not be the last reunion in honor of Sister Eliza’s birthday. And when we shall have passed from “Earth away” may we all be united in another and happier state of existence.

Feb. 3^rd – I did not go to the surprise party as I expected. I had my old complaint, I have got another pad, I have had it about a week. I think it helps me, but whether it will cure me, remains to be seen.

7^th – Attended a surprise party at Sister B. Smith’s in honor of Sister Zina Young’s birthday. I was not very well, and did not enjoy myself as well has I hoped. I do not enjoy everything that other people seem to.

26^th – While Josephine and Bert were riding in the buggy, the horses took fright and ran away, tipping the buggy over and spilling Josephine out on the ground. They were scared worse than hurt. Although they are both very lame.

28^th – Am fifty five today. My children, their husbands and children spent the day with me, that is all that could, Carl not being in the city. They brought me some nice presents. Emily gave me a picture of Lulu, Nellie, Kate and in a frame too. They are excellent likenesses. Carlie and Mamie gave me their photographs in frames, they were excellent. Josephine gave me a nice rocking chair.

Mamie Croxall gave a little frame, her own make, for a photo, Ada made me a hanging basket, Lulu made me an ‘air castle.’ Len gave me a pair of cuffs and collar; all of which I appreciate. In the evening, Sister Amanda Smith came, we sat till about ten o’clock, she telling her trials at Hauns Mill. What she passed through at that time was most awful.

March 1^st – Emily Clawson is thirty years old today. Josephine feels no bad effects from her tipover. Received from Will Rossiter $50.00, my annuity. I paid Mamie $5.00 and Josephine $9.00, what I had borrowed to help me through the month. Fifty dollars is not enough to keep up all my expenses.

14^th – I got my allowance for April, am trying to make a little garden, but find it costs a good deal to hire men to work. Can do but little at a time with my small means, but am thankful for what I have. I might be much worse off.

22^nd – Received news of Carlie Lyman Claister’s death. She died Thursday morning.

23^rd – Thoughts suggested by reading extracts from a letter written by Ann Eliza Appleton, Wisconsin.

And now comes a wail from suffering’s of the women of Utah. The heart-rendering stories that might be told. The jealousies and heartaches of polygamous wives. Is it possible that we have been so very miserable, all these years, and have not known it? I think jealousy is what ails Ann Eliza. She must have looked through green eyes. Jealousy will magnify small things into mountains, and see things that never existed. She should remember that women are not all constituted exactly alike. There are many noble women that prefer honorable marriage to prostitution. And there are very many brave and heroic women that do not depend altogether upon man’s attention and favors for happiness. She has a sphere of her own, and a true woman will go through life erect, keeping her head above her shoulders, crouching or cringing to none for favors, finding peace and joy in doing good and strewing happiness for others. She delights in the dignity and purity of her own set and in the strength and greatness of the opposite sex. She spurns puppyism and treads it under her feet. When her labors unite with her husband’s, they work together in harmony. And when they diverge for a short time, she is still content. The Mormon women live an active life, they are composed of the finest metal, they can bear the refiners fire without a murmur or a whimper. There are but few milk and water saps but few anerlizers among our people and they are free to go as soon as they please. If they can enjoy life more as a man’s mistress than as an honorable wife, they are welcome to choose for themselves. But they should be content with their own degradation and not try to drag others into the mire. It is an established fact that people who fling dirt, live in corrupt houses; and when they bestir themselves, decent people would find a sweeter atmosphere if they would turn their heads a little, or if you please, hold their noses.

It is quite evident that A.E. is the cats-paw for some monkey and will burn no ones fingers but her own. The subject is not worthy of notice, the contrast between her and the women she gives the lie is too great to draw any comparison. Their lives are pure and good, while hers is most depraved. Polygamy is pure and God designed it for the pure. And those who do not like it need not receive it. It is not offered to the world or those that reject the Gospel. It is a gem prepared for the bride only.

Emily P. Young

April 15^th – Feel very tired—have been with Josephine several days at the farm. Her baby, Ethel, was born 25 minutes to eleven o’clock Friday morning, April 11^th, 1879, Salt Lake County. Josephine is doing well.

19^th – I attended the matinee to see the “Pinafore.” Did not enjoy it. I got into the wrong seat and the usher drove me out, not caring to find me another seat. I went to Josephine’s again.

21^st – Have just come from the farm for a few minutes, expect to go back tonight. Am not feeling very well. Do not rest good at night when I am not home. Josephine has a nice little girl and I hope it will be a blessing to her. It is a great care to bring up and care for children as they should be. I hope she will have strength and wisdom to do right. May the Lord bless and prosper her forever.

28^th – Have been home about a week sick; am better today and expect to go down to Josephine’s again. Mamie has gone with Len to the Canyon. The weather is beautiful and the birds are singing sweetly as I write on my front porch. All is peace around and within me and I thank God that I am so blessed.

Reflections—Why do men object to woman franchise? Will it deprive them of any of their rights, will it reflect dishonor upon them for mothers, sisters, and wives to be acknowledged American citizens? Will it not be better for man to place his crown upon his head and wear his gems upon his heart rather than to trample them?

Woman is man’s glory and he should seek to exalt her and not debase her. It is not, as it is often said that woman is woman’s worst enemy. A few ignorant women disparage their own sex, thinking perhaps to gain favor in the eyes of “The Lord’s of creation” but the majority of the women feel for women and should not be judged by the few. Some of the most brave and noble spirits have stood forth in woman’s defense. They have been targets for the mis---- of the whole world. They have been ridiculed and held up in caricature, but they have not faltered and their names will be honored by future generations. And I have their lives as examples. I honor them for their faithfulness to the good work. Long live woman’s suffrage and equal rights. No need for four-fifths of the inhabitants of the earth to gravel in the dust in order that the other fifth may stand a little higher; let them stand upon their own feet as a stepping stone to greatness and not upon their mothers, sisters, wives, and daughters. Bert has come and I expect to go.

Apr. 30^th – Went to the farm day before yesterday and came home again today. Am feeling well again, only very lonesome. Feel anxious about Josephine and the baby. She is so young to have the whole care and responsibility of a little baby. I don’t know but what I will have to go back again and help her out for a week or two longer.

May 1^st – Attended our Relief Society meeting. Sister Snow gave notice that she and her councilors, treasurer and secretary would resign their offices next meeting.

17^th – Mamie has gone with Len to the Canyon and I am left alone, but I hope to enjoy enough of the spirit of the Lord so that I shall not be lonesome. Len brought my cow down from the farm. Andy Chapman will milk her for me. My health is very poor and I do not know but what I will have to give up housekeeping. I am not able to do anything. I wish I could get my health, I do hate to give up quite yet.

June 5^th – The Relief Society of the 12^th Ward disorganized and adjourned.

21^st – I visited the insane asylum. Len Hardy started on his mission to Indiana.

25^th – Platte and Arelia and Walter started home this morning, they have been here since last Friday. Platte and Annie Clark went to the Endowment House yesterday. It all has to be kept a secret.

Dec. 1879 – Yesterday was Christmas. I had a very pleasant day. My children are so good, they seem to vie with each other to make me happy. They all gave me nice presents. Carlos gave me the deed to a part of Uncle Lorenzo Young’s lot. It took nearly all his money to pay for it, but the Lord will return it four fold, and if I do not return it, the place is his when I am through with it. And my little grandchildren always remember me. The Lord bless the little darlings.

Dec. 19^th – Sold my cow. I do not feel able to keep her, there are so many demands, my money will not reach far enough to cover all.

Jan. 1^st, 1880 – I enter upon the new year with the Erysipelas. I hope it will not follow me through the year. It is a beautiful morning.

11^th – About sundown there was a total eclipse of the sun.

12^th – Mary came to work and began to take a gallon of milk.

24^th – Carl has gone to Nephi to survey a Railroad up to Sanpete.

Old time customs are apt to be considered the best and therefore held onto and thoughtlessly followed from year to year. Now if we would stop to consider and weigh them well, we would find some, perhaps many, that it would be far better to decease. I will mention one in particular that I think is degrading in its nature—that is begging. There are different ways of begging. Perhaps those who follow these customs would not like to be called beggars but facts are stubborn things and call them by whatever name you will still, they are the same. Children no doubt think it nice to start Christmas morning and go from house to house and call for Christmas gifts. It certainly must be more pleasant for them than for those that have to open the door every five minutes through the day.

And then New Years Day is the same with this difference—instead of Christmas gifts, it is New Year’s gifts.

Then comes the paper carrier with his address expecting a gift; he would scorn to ask for it but if he did not obtain one he would feel wronged if not insulted.

Now is it not better to pay people for what they do and let them feel the independence of their manhood in maintaining themselves instead of being forced to stoop so low as to go from house to house to claim a present, marring the day that should be sacred to all, he might get more than he would otherwise, but oh, how humiliating.

Poverty is no excuse here, for with the perfect system of relief that has been established in our midst, none need to suffer for the comforts of life, and it is a bad practice for parents to indulge their children in these things. It tends to debase the mind; they soon begin to think it their right, and instead of asking as a favor they demand it.

Such customs may do in the old countries where the poor are oppressed and the rich monopolize the blessings and keep the more humble class under their feet. But here it is so different; the poor can be aristocracy as well as the rich. It is the mind that makes the man and I see no reason why all the old time customs of every nation should be brought here and forced upon this people. It is annoying to those unaccustomed to them.

We have come to these valleys in order to become more perfected, hence we should leave behind such habits as are not exalting and refining to the soul, ere a man can be a man among men. There is no need of lowering himself in order to live. If he performs a service, he can be rewarded in an honorable way that will place him on an equal footing with his brethren.

Jan. 23^rd, 1880 – It is with varied feelings that I read the comments of different individuals, regarding the rights and privileges of women. Some are rather cramped in their ideas, while there are a few that have a broader scope to their intellect and are less selfish in their feelings, who can see rights for women as well as man.

In the beginning, God made man and woman equal, after his own image, and in his own likeness, male and female, made he them. Now if God was male and female woman must have been close by, Adam and Eve’s offence was the same, but the penalty pronounced upon each was very different. Among other things Eve was cursed with man’s rule (Thy desire shall be unto thy husband, and he shall rule over thee). God knew those words implied a great deal—not much perhaps so far as Adam was concerned, but in the many generations that were to come, her punishment would be very great. Now I do not consider it any very great honor for man to be the instrument to curse poor weak woman: and he will be held accountable before God for the way he has used his favor. Woman has meekly submitted to her father edict and will continue to do so until he says it is enough, and it rests with him to remove her curse and not with man; man may oppose but it will not hinder the designs of the Almighty—it will only cast a stigma upon his own name and it will be a stigma upon our Legislature of 1880 if they refuse to listen to woman’s cry for freedom or equal rights. Liberty is sweet; as sweet for woman as for man; and if the love of freedom is noble in man so it is in woman. The struggle that has been going on among the women for the last few years is the prelude to a coming event; it is as the struggles of a child before birth; it pretends deliverance.

The men seem to think, if the force of law is removed, the woman would run wild and monopolize all the public offices, and she would be compelled to leave her children and home duties whether or not. Now we would like to show ourselves possessed of good common sense and that we can be governed by common sense and that we can make just as good wives and mothers with our disability removed as we are now. We want to be free to act and keep our proper sphere of our own accord; it should be all free grace and all free will. There are many things not proper for man to do but he would not like to admit that he needs the force of law to admit that and keep him in his place.

I dare say there is not more than one woman in a thousand that desires to hold a public office or would accept one if it was offered to her; and that one would accept it more to establish a precedent than for anything else.

If a man was about to choose himself a wife would he not choose the free-born woman in preference to the bond woman? If man wishes to exalt and regenerate the human race, let him take the first step upward by striking of the shackles that bind down the mothers of their offspring; make them free—let them feel that they are citizens enjoying equal rights with their husbands, and if man has used his power in righteousness, he has nothing to fear from woman’s power, for you know the promise is to all of us, “The measure we meet out, shall be meeted back again.” Now I cannot see why the men are so strongly opposed to woman’s elevation—she does not want to get ahead of her brother or to deprive him of any right. Her interests are his and his should be hers. “The man is not without the woman neither is the woman without the man in the Lord.” It seems to me that the world is broad enough and high enough for both. If man is ever exalted, it will be by the side of a woman; he will never climb very high with woman’s neck for a stepping stone. No true woman would wish to do improper things. We wish to be untrampled, keeping our place of our own accord, we want the right to sing bass if you please, though we may never have the desire to do so. Now those men that oppose woman’s cause stand in their own light—they tarnish their own honor and dim their own glory. They are Benedict Arnolds, and will be looked back upon as traitors to equal rights while we will teach our own children to honor and revere the Washingtons, that stood bravely in our defense. Woman will be free; she will gain the victory if man will not be her champion, with the help of God she will be her own champion, and those that refuse her aid now may never have the honor afforded them again.

Feb. 28^th – I am fifty six years old today. Am feeling pretty well, have not had the erysipelas for more than a month—hope I shall not have it again. My children made me useful presents, Emily gave me one dozen very good silver plated table spoons. Carlie gave me a shawl and nice silk handkerchief, Mamie gave me a silver butter dish, Jo gave me a silver and glass spoon dish. I feel thankful for the remembrances, but more thankful for my children.

A paid servant has more liberty and feels more independence that a married woman. A wife has nothing but her board and clothing (and that grudgingly) while her husband lives, and after his death, she has no right to any of his property although she has worked for his interest and shared his poverty all of her married life. She is left to the mercy of his children—they are given the preeminence, while the wise and good mother is ignored. This is true as the case stands today, at least this is my experience; even my home that I hold the deed of is given to my children and I am not allowed the right to own anything but am fed with a spoon like a baby (speaking in metaphor).

Now I will venture to prophesy that this state of things will not always exist. The day will come when righteousness will reign, and justice will rule and a wife’s rights will be equal with her husband; and no less sacred than his, and may that time speedily come and woman be free.

Emily D. P. Young

June 24^th – 1880 – Woman’s curiosity is proverbial and with me the question arises—what is curiosity? I think it is nothing more or less than an instinctive desire for knowledge, and I ask myself—is there anything worth man’s knowing that woman should not know. Woman is an intelligent being and has her part to act in the great work of creation and should feel interested in all that pertains to the human race. Then why should she be kept in ignorance of existing facts necessary for man to know. For ages past it has been considered unpopular and almost disrespectful for women to know anything outside of her household affairs; but thank God things are changing. Women are beginning to assert their rights to indulge their “curiosity” and look and learn for themselves. They are no longer satisfied to remain in ignorance and stupidity. Knowledge, when rightly used, tends to exalt—none need be afraid that woman will know too much. The more she learns the better she will know how to act and with the spirit of the Lord to help her she can better perform the duties and labors of life; it will make her tasks lighter for she will not have so many blunders to rectify, so many wrongs to make right, she will not have the same things to do over twice or thrice, she knows when, where, and how everything should be done, and therefore is enabled to avoid much unnecessary labor. Then let woman as well as man strive for knowledge and let none be ridiculed for being curious; let old fashioned notions be buried in the past, and let women emerge into light and bring forth children of light and intelligence and revolutionize the world. No wonder the world lies in darkness when the nation’s teachers are not to know only the few things that man thinks proper. It seems that a good housekeeper is all that a man desires in a wife. A few years ago I congratulated a man on his marrying so fine a lady. Oh, yes, he says, she is a find and excellent housekeeper. The answer struck me as strange. I wondered if that was first and foremost in choosing a wife. I admit that it is essential but there are other things that should not be ignored. It is sad that so much corruption exists in the world and I do not wonder that the sensitiveness of some men is disturbed when it is exposed to the eyes of the ladies as it has been of late in the museum of wax figures, but I saw nothing there more unfit for woman than man, in fact, I think if either is excluded it should be the man by woman seeing and understanding the things, as mothers they may be timely and proper teaching and prevent many evils that now exist in the world. So let no more scum be cast upon woman for being curious. Woman’s curiosity indeed. Of course, man has none—he is never curious—it is the noble instinct for knowledge that he possesses. Well, I say success to learning whether it is called curiosity or any other name.

July 12, 1880, Salt Lake City

Emily Dow Partridge Young (Smith)

No Reason Why

I see no reason why a man should be king and woman a serf. I see no reason why man should have ease and comfort and woman toil in sorrow and pain. I see no reason why man should be great and honored while woman’s position is one of ignomy. I see no reason why man should rise in the scale of intelligence and possess knowledge and power while woman is ridiculed for aspiring to the same. I see no reason why sex should cause any distinction to be made whatever in genuine worthiness, or that one intelligent being should be curtailed in privileged and blessings merely because she is a woman. One writer has said “The soul has no sex”—be that as it may, we know that real worth and true merit has no sex, and I see no reason why woman should be deprived of any privilege that tends to happiness. I see no reason why one sex should be considered noble and the other ignoble. Is not one as good and powerful as the other in a separate condition, but when united are not both improved? If woman’s emancipation meant man’s degradation, I would say let woman remain as she is. But I see no reason why woman’s happiness need interfere with mens; there is room enough in the world, or out of it, and happiness for both.

Emily Dow Partridge Young (Smith)

July 19^th – Carlos paid me one hundred dollars for Josephine. Some time last winter Carlos and Josephine made a bargain: Carlos was to pay Jo one thousand dollars in cash for her share in the homestead. He paid nine hundred dollars. Jo wanted to give me one hundred dollars to help me build my house and authorized Carlos to pay to me the one hundred dollars due here, which Carlos has done.

20^th – I received my Exponent and found my article published, all correct with some trifling exceptions. The name signed should have been E. Dow instead of C. Dow.

July 24^th – The weather has been very fair for the celebration. The house flies have not made their appearance yet so the horses and cattle, as well as the people in the procession, are spared a great deal of annoyance. I think I must be getting better in health or I could not stand the tramp I have had today. I walked down to the theater and sat on the steps. I had a very good view of the procession while it went up. Then I went up and sat on Lucy D’s fence awhile, then went into her house and saw the procession pass by. I cannot describe all the sensations I experienced—neither would it be wise to do so. Carlos has just come in—he rode horse-back with the twenty-four young men.

Lulu and Ada rode in the Dramatic Car. Nellie was a fairy dressed in green in the Primary Car. Great taste was displayed in arranging the different professions—in fact, everything was in good order. One drawback however, as is always the case on such days, the services in the Tabernacle were too long. One thing I noticed was a band of little boys playing Yankee Doodle in front of the Beehive House. The little boys were perhaps from ten to twelve years of age; they did remarkably well.

27^th – It has been raining and is quite cool. Home all day.

28^th – I cannot tell how I am worried about my taxes. My county and school tax is $62.40. My city tax is $26.00. My water tax $12.00 and it is utterly impossible for me to pay it. I have been trying since the first of January to save enough to pay it. I have done without many things I need—in fact, I have done without everything I possibly could and be anyways comfortable. My health is so poor that I cannot earn anything, neither save by doing my own work. The out-go is continual and the demands are numerous. Last year my children helped me pay my taxes but I do not think they ought to do it. The Executors reserved some seventeen thousand dollars out of my children’s portion for the support of the wives of Pres. Young, and it seems an imposition to ask them to contribute to my support. Today I have been thinking it over and over and I can’t see any way but to let the officers go the length of the law and take what they like from my household goods if they can find anything worth taking. I do pray God that He will cause every wrong to be righted whether it is in high or low places, whether the offender is man or woman—strong or weak, I hope restitution will be required. I want nothing but what is just and right.

Aug. 1^st – Carlos expects to start for Soda Springs this afternoon. And I expect to start for Deseret tomorrow to visit my brother and sisters. Mamie will stay with Emily until I return. Stayed at Emily’s all night.

Aug. 2^nd – Went to the Depot in the morning and paid $8.25 for a ticket to Deseret. Arrived at the Deport at 4:40 and waited a few minutes for my brother, then started for Deseret one mile distant. Stayed at my brother’s overnight. Started in the morning at 6 o’clock for Oak City, 20 miles; rode some of the way sandy, no water the whole distance. Arrived at my sister Caroline’s at about 11 o’clock’—no one at home, went across the block to sister Eliza’s and found her and the baby, all the rest up in the Canyon at the mill. Edward P. went up and stayed all night—in the morning brought all down but Edward L. Edward P. stayed to dinner then started for Deseret. I spent a very pleasant time with my friends; expected to start for home on Saturday the 7^th, but through a mistake of Eddie Lyman, I had to wait till Sunday when he took me 12 miles to Leamington where I could take the cars for home. My sister Caroline and niece Annie accompanied me to the cars.

I arrived at the depot in Salt Lake in due time feeling very tired. Took the street car to Carlie’s where I left my luggage and walked to Emily’s all the way. Went to Josephine’s (who had moved while I was away)—nobody at home there, went back to Emily’s and waited on the porch (a rocking chair was on the porch) till Emily returned. She got me some supper, and warmed some water for me to take a bath. Mamie soon came in with a severe headache. Emily insisted on my staying all night. I stayed till afternoon next day when she sent me home in the buggy. Mamie and Ada Croxall, Lulu, Nell Clawson, and Martha Hardy (Len’s sister) stayed with us all night, so we were not very lonesome, although Carl has not yet returned.

Aug. 10^th – I feel more tired today than I have anytime since I started on my visit south, but am not sick. The flies were very thick in Oak City, but when I get home I find very few—not enough to be troublesome.

I thought I had done; but when woman is assailed with ridicule and caricature I must speak. Some men seem to think the more they can say to cast reproach upon woman’s nature, the more honor they heap upon their own heads. They take pleasure in ridiculing her character as God has made her. They impute to her many things that do not belong to her. Somebody is afraid that woman is trying to get his “trousers;” but he may set his heart at rest, she does not want them. I never knew of but one woman in the world that would wear them as man wears them; and she did it more to establish a precedent and assert her rights than anything else.

They are an uncouth garment at best and the petticoat is needed almost as much with as without them, and as inconvenient as skirts are, I do not think the ladies would be willing to exchange their style of dress with the men.

But if custom or public opinion would let women wear their skirts a little shorter—but then it might many times show a big foot or a dilapidated shoe, and that would be an offense not to be forgiven in a woman; so the dress will have to drabble a while longer.

But as to rights that somebody boasts of, I do not know where he gets it—only upon the principle of ‘might is right.’ I am sure we do not read anything about the Lord making any ‘trousers’ for Adam; but he made coats of skins and clothed Adam and Eve (it might have been petty-coats for all that I know) and as far as our own knowledge goes, there is no difference in man and woman’s dress except in the covering of the head. I mean as the Lord has designated it.

E.D.P.Y.S.

Aug. 16^th – Marie Dougle called with a paper for me to sign giving the Executors liberty to support Maggie W. Young out of the Estate. She said the Executors said there is enough in the Estate without infringing on the fifty dollars the wives receive. If that is true, why do they not give us more, and not tell us there is not enough when we ask them. I shall not sign the paper nor give my consent to anything of the kind. My feelings are too sore to talk about these things without getting excited and perhaps I say more than I ought to. I am sorry that things have been done as they have; I would rather have good feelings if possible.

I believe all that sign that paper or consent in any way will be sorry sometime.

When I was at Oak City my sister Eliza, in looking over her old papers, found a deed of a lot in Nauvoo giving to the children of E. Partridge sen lot 2 (two) block 146 Feb. 10, 1843.

23^rd – Carlos returned from Soda Springs.

20^th – Mamie’s baby is sick with the dysentery.

22^nd – Reply to a “grumbler” in the Herald.

Who is it that is in such deep trouble this pleasant Sunday morning. What wife has so far forgotten herself as to cease to love, honor and obey her lordly spouse; and has irritated his precious feelings, until they must flow out in abuse to every wife. Why does she take so much trouble to take care of, and preserve fruit in its season, merely that she may have the pleasure of seeing her big child of a husband gobble it down in the winter when green truck is not to be had. I venture to say that no one will eat it with a better relish than he. What a pity that woman is not a fairy that she might perform her duties in an invisible manner, that she could wash and scrub all day long, and yet by magic be always dressed and ready anytime of day to receive and wait upon her master, for we cannot call him by any other name; he knows not how to appreciate a wife, he takes the advantage of being an Editor to vent his spite on everybody through the columns of his paper, thinking to relieve his mind and provoke his wife without exposing himself to her fury. But all are not so shallow as he thinks them, they see plainly through his trick; and if he is not the cause and most to blame of the two, then I am deceived. Such men generally rule with an iron hand, and no sensible woman will submit to such treatment; he keeps his home in a turmoil all the time, and then raves about wives and women in general. Wives can be, and are sometimes very aggravating, but man is often too provoking for anything. He thinks he is the only one to be considered, all must bow to his wishes, none must think of aught but him while he is about. Poor woman—she may be to blame many times but she certainly is to be pitied.

Emily P. Young

Sept. 5^th – Woke up with the erysipelas—have not had it for a little over two months before.

Oct. 13^th – Mamie’s birthday. Len returned from his mission. He has been having the chills for about six weeks. Mamie is weaning her baby, little Minnie.

Oct. 24^th – It seems a long time since I have written in my diary. I am alone this evening and will while away a few moments by writing some of my thoughts. My life is a kind of hum-drum monotony. Not much transpires worthy of notice. I feel more and more, the longer I live, like spending the rest of my days in laboring for the advancement of God’s work upon the earth in these last days, but there seems to be no opening for me to do anything, and if there was I can’t know as I could do it with my poor health. Patience is a necessary attribute. We should not be over anxious; God will call us, and fit us when He needs our services. If he has anything for me to do, He has only to let me know and I hope I shall be ready. But if there is no more good for me to do I must be content. I love the Lord and desire to be approved of Him.

Jo has been here with her baby today. She has had a severe headache. She is a dear kind daughter and my heart goes out to her in love; and Mamie too is a dear good girl; in fact, all my children are the best in the world in my eyes.

31^st – Jo has been quite sick all the week. I keep Ethel up here. She is being weaned. I stand it first rate.

Dec. 4^th – Mr. Gamble has gone; he has been here as Carlos’ guest since last Monday. Today is Saturday. We are all tired out with the extra work and worry.

Dec. 5^th – Charles Gamble did not take the train yesterday as he expected, but he did not return here again.

A COMPLAINT

The true gospel of Jesus Christ gives the Saints the enjoyment of many gifts and blessings that no other people possess. Among the gifts given to the saints there is one that stands prominent for their great benefit. I speak of the gift of healing by the laying on of hands. But do we enjoy that blessing to the extent that we might and as the Lord designated we should? We often see the ordinance performed without the desired effect. Why is it so? God is the same, the Priesthood is the same today that it was anciently, and when He conferred this authority upon the elders, He meant that the power should follow each administration for he deals not in half-way things, neither amuses himself with child’s play. And as the same cause always produces the same effect, the administration by those having authority should never fail to heal or mitigate suffering unless appointed unto death. Now I again ask why cannot we obtain the promise “The prayer of faith shall heal the sick?” There must be a wrong somewhere and as it cannot be in the Priesthood, it must be in the people. Who can point out the fault and who can suggest a remedy that we may find deliverance in time of need. We suffer with sickness year after year and children die by the thousands while we are within reach of one of the greatest gifts that can be conferred upon man. The gift of healing through faith by the laying on of hands. Who is responsible for this state of things? Is it not those who are entrusted with the Priesthood, holding the power and authority to rebuke the destroyer? Are they not responsible in a great measure for the lack of faith among the people?

The Lord says where much is given much is required; and where little is given but little is required. Mothers having sick children send for the elders according to the revelation; they come from their work feeling in a very great hurry, they cannot take time to bow down before the Lord and dedicate themselves, their administration, and all concerned to his glory; but go through the ceremony in a hurried manner, their minds filled with the cares of business—they think not of the result of their administration, but leave the patient or friends to exercise faith if they can under the circumstances. Who can wonder that distrust creeps into the minds of the people, and they send for a doctor rather than trust an elder when sickness is raging. The result of following the administration is not always satisfactory and we lose confidence, not in the power of the Priesthood, but we hardly know what is the matter, there is a lack somewhere that should not be. In reading the history of the prophet Joseph, we find that he and his brethren obtained blessings through much prayer. If there were two or three together, they would pray in turn, and if they did not prevail at first, they would pray again and again, until the Lord would grant them their desires. I have known elders to lay on hands with no effect at first, but after the second or third time the patient was healed; now if it can be done once it can be done again and again and as many times as the ordinance is performed.

It is the brethren alone that are permitted to hold the Priesthood in full; and on them is conferred the authority to lay on hands, and it is their privilege to exercise faith that the efficacy of the healing power might be made manifest. I have been administered to repeatedly without the desired effect; and I long to see the day when the spirit and power of healing will attend the administration, and I believe that is the design of the Almighty and I would say to those having talents given them, do not wrap them in a napkin and hide them away lest some may be counted as unwise stewards.

E.D.P. Young

Dec. 12^th – In reading the Prophet Joseph’s history, I find these words concerning my father. (I have put them in Edward Partridge’s history. DMK)

Dec. 12^th – Received some papers of Father’s from Edward.

14^th – Took supper with Emily and Hyrum. He expects to start east in the morning. When Carl came in, he said he had asked Mr. and Mrs. Dowden for their daughter, Alice. Her father gave his consent, but her mother said she would rather see her in the graveyard than have her marry so young, but finally said she would think about it.

Hyrum C. has gone and his wife Ellen accompanied him . . . Mr. and Mrs. Hardy to dinner with Mamie. Carlos is sick with a headache.

Dec. 26^th – Christmas has again passed and Santa Claus was very kind. I was well remembered by my children. The day was rainy, dark and gloomy. I spent the afternoon with Emily. I had the erysipelas for my good cheer. I am much better today.

Jan. 12^th 1881 – I did intend to write a little in my journal on New Year’s Day, but had no opportunity. Mamie and Len went to his father’s, and Carlos and I spent the day alone. Carlos was quite sick and a more gloomy and lonesome day I never remember before. Carl is some better but is far from being well. I have given up going to St. George for the present.

16^th – Yesterday was the first pleasant day we have had this month, and the sun is shining beautifully this morning. Carlos is better and the clouds beginning to live from our spirits as well as the from the atmosphere.

27^th – Bro. Reynolds was liberated from prison last week. Day before yesterday Carlos went to see about his tithing. He offered his lot known as the Museum lot for tithing. We are all better now in health for which I thank the Lord. The weather is quite pleasant which makes us feel better in spirits.

Feb. 15^th – I will now copy some of my father’s writings. (I have put this in Edward’s history—DMK)

Feb. 28^th – Fifty-seven today, sick with the erysipelas—preparing to move. The second hand merchant has been here to bid on some of my things—will not give much—but I am obliged to sell because the house is small that I am going into. I do not expect to be very comfortable and I feel a little bad, but think it best under the circumstances. Began to fast for my health. I mean to continue for three days but don’t know as I can, there is so much to do.

March 18^th – Moved from my house in the 12^th Ward to the Old Exponent Office in the 13^th Ward on the fourth of this month. Have been sick most of the time since I began to make preparations to move.

April 13^th – I expect to start for St. George next Friday if I keep well. It is quite an undertaking for me to start on such a journey with such health, having no particular friends there to receive me, but I will take what money I can and that generally paves the way for almost anybody, and I am sure it is a very good friend in its place. I wish my brother and sister were going, it makes me almost homesick to go alone, for I feel alone without some near friend to care for me.

April 15^th – Good Friday. Started from Salt Lake City for St. George. Arrived at Milford at 10 a.m.

16^th – Left Milford. Stayed at Minorsville all night.

17^th – Traveled to Cedar City, stayed overnight.

18^th – Went to Leeds. Stopped overnight.

19^th – Arrived at St. George about noon, stopped at Lucy B. Young’s, had a comfortable room and paid or arranged to pay my board, 5 dollars a week.

April 20^th – Went to the Temple and was endowed for Grandmother Miriam Howe Clisbee.

21^st – Went to the Temple, was endowed for my grandmother Jemima Bidwell Partridge. Gave the name of Alice Hook to be prayed for in the Temple. It was a beautiful morning, and I feel much pleased with St. George.

22^nd – Was endowed for Eliza Couldock.

23^rd – It is a beautiful day and the birds are signing so sweetly. I am doing a little sewing, and resting, as it is the first day I have had to rest since I arrived in St. George. There is mourning in St. George, the diphtheria is taking away some of the children.

24^th – Another beautiful morning, all is quiet and peaceful. Attended meeting in the Tabernacle, it is a very nice building.

26^th – Went to the Temple and was baptized for my health, also for my Aunt Phoebe Clisbee who is dead.

27^th – Was endowed for my Aunt Eliza Clisbee Partridge who is dead. Saw Alice Gray and Mr. Jackson married and witnessed some second anointings. Went to Bro. McAllister’s to the Wedding supper. Before coming out of the Temple I went into the prayer room with L. B. Young.

29^th – Went to the Temple and was endowed for Aunt Elsie C. Partridge, in fact, I was endowed for some one of my dead friends every day that the Temple was open, which was (Wed, Thurs, Fri.) for endowments, and Tuesday for baptisms.

May 8^th – My brother, Edward and sister, Caroline and her daughter Harriet came to St. George.

May 4^th – Was endowed for Harriet Parmela Partridge.

May 5^th – Sally Clisbee Partridge

May 6^th – Cecelia Hebard Partridge

May 10^th – Was baptized for 93 of the Howe family names I found waiting for me at St. George, that I knew nothing about until I went there. Caroline was baptized for about 60 of the Partridges, and Edward was baptized for about 150 of Partridges and Howes.

11^th – Endowed for Phoebe Clisbee Partridge. Caroline for Nancy Clisbee Partridge. Edward for our father, Edward Partridge. I stood for our mother, Lydia Clisbee Partridge and had her second anointing. Caroline stood for Eliza Clisbee Partridge. Then I for Elsie Clisbee Partridge (both Mother’s sisters) and sister Harriet Parmela Partridge. Then Caroline for Lydia Partridge Smith (our sister). C. was sealed for our sister, Harriet P. Partridge. J. L. Smith proxy for Joseph Smith.

12^th – Was endowed for Rachel Goddard Howe.

13^th – Endowed for Molly Pearson Lewis g g grandma was sealed. All except Eliza were adopted to our father and mother. Had my son, Edward Partridge Young Smith adopted, Mother’s infant son, Clisbee Partridge adopted to her and father. Had our father(‘s) Mother and their fathers and mothers adopted to Joseph Smith, the Prophet, was sealed for several to father.

Started about three from St. George, went as far as Leeds, got there after dark, made out to find a bed for me. The others sleeping on the ground and in the wagon, going to bed supperless and started in the morning without breakfast. Stopped at Belrue in the street and ate breakfast and dinner together. Bought some milk and made a very good meal. Went to Kanarra, at our lunch, obtained two beds, rained and turned cold, started again without breakfast. Roomed in the streets of Cedar City, went to Parowan, stayed with Paylina Lyman, was made quite welcome. Had supper and breakfast, still cold, went to Minersville, rained before we got there and was quite cold. 9 o’clock and quite dark when we got there, it being very cloudy. Stayed at Henry Rollings’. The only place I stopped at that I did not pay while I was away from home. The next day was very cold and the wagon very damp, and we had to haul out our winter clothing in order to be any ways comfortable. We stayed at Milford all night, well I need not say all night for I was up at 2 o’clock and on the train at three and on my way home.

18^th – Arrived safely at the depot, found Emily and Hyrum, Carlos and Josephine waiting for me with a barouche, yes and little Nell, all glad to see me return.

May 31^st – Carlos has gone to Soda Springs to do some surveying for Mr. Hooper.

June 1^st – I attended a meeting at the Lion House, called by Bro. Joseph Young to take into consideration the work of the dead friends of the family. Am feeling much better in health than I did before I went to St. George.

June 6^th – Am again afflicted with the erysipelas, have not had it before, since the fore part of last March, was in hopes I would not have it again, ever. Emily’s choice cow died this morning.

8^th – Bro. Windor called to say that Carl’s mare that is at his farm had gotten hurt and was likely to bleed to death. No flies yet worth speaking of here. Very windy weather, and dusty.

10^th – Carlos returned from Soda Springs. His mare is likely to get well, although badly cut in a barb wire fence.

I was up in the burying ground last Wednesday to look for my children’s graves. Louisa B. Y. Smith’s headstone was the only clue that enabled me to find them. I remembered that they lay south of her between her grave and Bro. Young’s sister, Susan Petengil.

July 3^rd – Yesterday morning President Garfield was shot by an assassin.

20^th – Garfield is getting well. Yesterday attended the funeral of Brother Joseph Young at the Tabernacle; the speakers were W. Woodruff, G. Q. Cannon, John Taylor.

29^th – Today I’ve been thinking, thinking, thinking. My mind goes back to days gone by. And what do I find, can I find anything so pleasant that I could wish to live it over again or even to dwell upon it in thought, with any degree of satisfaction. No I cannot. My life has been like a panorama of disagreeable pictures. As I scan them over one by one, they bring no joy, and I invariably wind up with tears. I have been heart hungry all my life, always hoping against hope, until the years are nearly spent, and hope is dead for this life but bright for the next. And then I ask myself what great or good thing have I done that I should hope for better things in the next world, or what great trial or exploit can I recount like many others perhaps, that will bring honor and greatness. I can only sum it up in one words, that is I am a ‘woman’ or if that is not enough I am a ‘mother’ and still more I am, as the world calls it, ‘spiritual wife’ of early days, when public opinion was like an avalanche burying all such beneath its oppressive weight. Some will understand what it is to be a woman, mother, or an unloved ‘spiritual wife.’

Aug. 1^st – Yesterday I was in a dark mood. Today I am looking for the bright spots. Although they may be few and far between they should not be over-looked and among my greatest blessings I class the fates that I am a mother, and was a spiritual wife.

I went to the Lion House to attend a meeting appointed by Bro. Joseph Young and found it postponed by Bro. Lorenzo Young until the 13^th of August.

5^th – Attended the funeral of W. C. Staines at the Assembly Hall. Carl is in the Cottonwood Canyon.

6^th – Very warm temperature at 100.

7^th – Cloudy and cool, that is cool to what it was yesterday.

14^th – Yesterday returned from the canyon. Went up last Monday and spent the week with Mamie. Carlos is still up in Cottonwood Canyon where he went last Wednesday week. He returned Sunday and went back again Tuesday.

15^th – Carlos came home. We have had considerable rain lately. Emily and Carl have gone up to Mamie’s to spend a week. Edward Leo Lyman and his wife went home today.

20^th – Emily and Carl came home.

23^rd – Carlos has gone to Soda Springs, to survey for Capt. Hooper.

Sept. 15^th – Sold my three shares in the 13^th Ward Co-op store to J. P. Freeze for two hundred and twenty-five dollars.

Sept. 19^th – President Garfield died. He was assassinated.

Sept. 20^th – Tuesday morning at 9 o’clock, Mamie’s second daughter was born, Eugenia.

22^nd – Thursday afternoon in the Endowment House, Carlos and Alice Dowden were married.

Oct. 1^st – I moved in with Carlos.

3^rd – Received the sad intelligence of Ferry’s death. He died last Tuesday, the 27^th of Nov. on his way home from his mission. He died and was buried on the sea. Bro. Orson Pratt died this morning.

Carlos tries hard to make me comfortable, but it is not like my own house. He and is wife make me very welcome, yet I do not feel that freedom that I like to feel. There is a sense of dependence that no one likes except to those who love them. And of course a daughter- or son-in-law is not overly fond of their mother-in-law.

Oct. 13^th – Carlie’s twins were born, one weighed 5 lbs., the other 5¼. They are little weak babies. I hope they will live.

Nov. 14^th – Have been up to Carlie’s. She was taken this morning with a very heavy chill and sore breast. I got a letter from Caroline Lyman giving the particulars of Joseph’s being shot in the thigh.

Dec. 1^st – Carlos took me in his sleigh up to Mamie’s. I did not stay but took Minnie and brought her home with me. Mamie came down and spent the afternoon with Emily. Carl took her home, but brought her back again to stay all night. She being so lonesome.

2^nd – Mamie and I went over to Josephine’s. Came back to dinner. Carl took her home in his sleigh. Rossiter paid me my allowance of 50 dollars.

3^rd – Carl took me up to Mamie’s.

4^th – Stayed with Mamie last night and took care of the baby while she went to Sunday School. Came home with Sam Jenkinson.

5^th – Spent the afternoon with Emily. Got a letter from my sister, Caroline, saying Joseph was not so well.

Answered Sister Caroline’s letter and sent her $10.00.

Dec. 11^th – Stayed with Cad last night, was up nearly all night with the babies. I am about tired out. Carlie has the quincy. I wish we could always be well and strong.

12^th – Have been to Carlie’s today. She is no better. Mamie and Ada were both sick in bed when I went there this morning. They were better this evening. Verna does not seem well tonight and I am afraid Carlie will not raise her.

20^th – Received a ticket inviting me to a party in the 16^th Ward in honor of Joseph Smith’s birthday. I think a great deal of Joseph, but I do not feel much like attending parties. If he was going to be there, it would be another thing. I suppose I ought to try and be more like other people, so I think I will go.

23^rd – Went to the party, saw a great many faces of old friends; none knew me at first I had changed so much in my looks. Had a very good time but there were some vacancies to be filled in order to make it a success.

25^th – Christmas morning, Sunday, cloudy and cold but no snow worth speaking of. My children each gave me a present. Where would I be if I had no children, none to think of me, when everybody is remembered. What a desolate life to contemplate. Emily gave me a book, “The Treasures of Art, candy and nuts. Carlie a gold pin, Carlos a nice bracelet, Mamie an album, Josephine her likeness, all which were very acceptable. In the afternoon attended meeting in the Assembly Hall. After meeting went to Emily’s to supper, rode with Carl up to Mamie’s. Had a touch of erysipelas. Nothing to speak of.

26^th – Spent the day or part of it with Mamie, Carl and Allice also went up.

An acrostic written by my mother to her son, Edward.

Each day let all thy actions be

Devoid of strife or enmity.

Walk in the way thy father trod

Attend his counsel which was good.

Remember in thy youth, thy God

Desire to know His Holy word.

Prepare thyself thy place to fill

And seek to know thy Master’s will.

Repent of all thy faults each day

Try to pursue the heavenly way.

Refuse not counsel from thy friend

Improve thy time till time shall end.

Depart from sin, make truth thy choice.

Grim death may come with all his force

Even that day thou mayest rejoice.

Signed, your mother

Nov. 2^nd, 1881 – S. L. City—I hate to see a woman powder and paint her face. But I hate worse, to see a man chew tobacco, and the juice running down both corners of he mouth.

I hate to see a woman spend a great deal of time and means on dress. But I hate worse to see a man spend his money in whiskey, and his time in the saloons, and then find fault with his wife for being extravagant. I hate to see a woman vain and frivolous. But I hate worse to see a man pretend that his has no vanity; and be always caressing his moustache. And above all, I hate to see a man try to point out a woman’s faults, with whiskey on his breath, and a cigar in his mouth. Oft repeated crosses seem to sour the temper and harden the heart, I say seem because it is not a reality, it is an outward guise, a barricade to protect the inner soul. Let a kind word or action drop in suddenly, and the heart is melted and the eye shed moulten tears. Then do not judge from outward appearances, they are often deceptive. - - - E. P. Young - original.

True love takes root deep down in the heart firm and strong so that it cannot be eradicated. Fancy is often taken for love, but it has no root and is changeable, and often treacherous as the quicksand that is continually shifting hither and thither with every wind and wave .

- - - E. P. Young - original

Jan. 1^st 1882 – Carl and Allice had company, his and her folks. Had a very peasant time. The turkey was good, the fish was good, the pies were good, and the babies were good, and everything was good.

23^rd – I am almost sick with a cold. I spent the most of last week with Emily.

Intelligence of a Cat

A few years ago, a near neighbor of mine had a cat with a half grown kitten. One morning when I opened the well room (I being the first) the cat entered, she having been shut out the night before, and the kitten having been shut in. The cat went to her kitten which was in one corner of the room and the kitten, as a matter of course, had made a mess in the room. When the cat discovered this, she began to smell of it, and walk around the kitten, all the time growling, and snarling, and scolding the kitten. If she could have talked she could not have expressed her displeasure more plainly. Then she took her right paw and boxed the kitten’s ear, as naturally as a woman would her child. Then she ate it up (the mess) and licked it clean.

Jan. 15^th – Extract of a letter written by Edward Partridge (I have put this in Edward Partridge’s section—DMK)

Feb. 28^th, 1882 – Another birthday, 58 years old. Spent the day at Emily’s with all of my children and most of my grandchildren. Carol sprained her arm the day before so she was not there. My children joined in getting me a music box. It has not come yet, Mamie also gave me a scrapbook. May the Lord bless them forever and ever.

March 15^th – The Edmunds Bill passed both Houses yesterday. Josephine and Bert expect to start to California today. They have gone.

May 2^nd – Moved into the Decker house, pay 20 dollars per month rent, but I would rather do so. I have rented the two front rooms to a young married couple for 9 dollars per month, so it is much pleasanter than being alone in the house.

Aug. 3^rd – I have been here three months now. I felt pretty well at first. I like the place very well but I am terribly lonesome. A lonely old age is not a very desirable situation, especially with poor health. I would like to be where I could see my children oftener. I would like to see some of them once a day if no more, if my health . . .

5^th – 3 o’clock Saturday morning Carlos and Alice’s first baby, a boy, was born. He is named for his father.

Sept. 17^th 1882 – H. B. Clawson (son-in-law) was chosen Bishop of the 12^th Ward.

Dec. 15^th – Ethel Young (granddaughter) died at the residence of Caroline Y. Croxall, Salt Lake City, She was buried on Saturday 16^th 1882. I have been with Josephine since the 30^th of November. Poor little Ethel died with diphtheria, a nasty disease. She was a little sufferer the three weeks she was sick. It is needless to say that Josephine and Bert felt bad for whoever have lost their darlings knowing that it is like tearing the heart out by the roots, yet their suffering make us willing to let them go, but oh, the vacuum they leave in our hearts.

Dec. 16^th – Returned to Emily’s.

Dec. 25^th – It has been a very pleasant day, a little snow—just enough to make it look wintry. Lots of presents for the children, and some for myself. Emily, Cad, and Mamie gave me a very nice clock and Emily gave me a silver thimble. Carl and Alice gave me a scarf pin. There is one thing to mar my pleasure. When I think of little darling Ethel I can’t help but weep, it seems so hard to lose her. Mamie and Len gave me a Christmas card wishing me ever so much happiness. They have gone up in the canyon to spend their Christmas.

Jan. 1^st, 1883 – New Year’s Day. Home all day. No callers except Mr. Faust. Emily and her children took dinner with Sister Helen Clawson.

April 26^th – Emily moved into her new brick house. I moved the Friday before. I pay her twenty-five dollars for board.

June 21^st – Last night a big fire occurred burning H. B. Clawson’s business establishment, the Gunneis House and others, supposed to be incendiary.

July 21^st – Carl was nominated for the legislature.

26^th – Went to John Robinson’s circus. Was pleased to see such a good collection of animals. I love to study their different characteristics. I look at them with two eyes, the temporal and the spiritual. I believe I see more in the animals than most people.

July 27^th – I took an article to the Exponent office.

Aug. 7, 1883 – Verna Y. Croxall, eldest of Carlie’s twins died today—she was one year, ten months, and twenty-five days.

Pioneer Day, published in the Exponent

The Twenty-Fourth of July, Pioneer Day

A Sabbath for the Saints. Blessed be the day forever. Many thoughts crowd themselves into my mind this morning. The contrast of thirty-six and forty years ago and today. Well might the Pioneers shout from the fullness of their hearts, when their eyes first beheld the broad acres of this beautiful valley. They saw in vision the future home of the Saints loom up in beauty and grandeur; they saw a safe retreat from their oppressors; they viewed with pleasure the lusty mountains; the limped water flowing down through the rugged canyons; and notwithstanding the aspect of the country generally was forbidding, even that was in their favor, for no one was so greedy as to desire its possession in those days. Here was a place for the Saints to rest their weary feet; here was ground to stand upon; here was water to drink and sagebrush to burn; and with the few pints of flour, and perhaps a few ounces of sugar and tea they brought with them, what more could a people want?

Well, the peace and protective influence that pervaded the place supplied the lack of other things, for surely the people were destitute of almost every earthly comfort. How could it be otherwise, after being driven from their homes and possessions time after time? I look back upon the early days of this Church; the days in Nauvoo; when the Prophet Joseph was with us; when he taught me the principles of plural marriage; my obedience to the same; the various circumstances attending it; his cruel death; our exodus from our homes in the cold winter, and the incidents attending our journey in the wilderness; and our arrival in these valleys.

I look with wonder upon the change that has been wrought in the comparatively few years that have passed since we first arrived here; and I exclaim “Surely the Lord’s protecting hand has been over this people.” In the days of Nauvoo the holy order of Celestial marriage was in its infancy; it was not taught publicly, consequently the people generally did not know of it. After we crossed the Mississippi River it was not considered necessary any longer to conceal it. I remember after crossing the River I set myself upon a fallen tree with my babe in my arms; the snow was falling in large flakes, thick and fast. I was cold and hungry, for food and clothes were scarce, and much had to be done before comfortable quarters could be provided. Many eyes were turned upon me, or rather upon my baby; some with favor and some with disfavor or contempt. Spiteful things were said, the oppressive influence that hovered over and around me was so distressing that it seemed as though I must sink; but God has sustained me through it all.

Spiritual wives, as we were then termed, were not very numerous in those days and a spiritual baby was a rarity indeed. (The word “spiritual wives” originated with John C. Bennet, I think). On our journey from Nauvoo the saints would stop and form small settlements to recruit. I stopped at one of these places a short time. Company after company passed, and many hearing that a “spiritual wife and child” were there, curiosity led them to seek an interview. All pronounced the child a bright and beautiful boy, the handsomest child they ever saw. And it was a child too, born in that despised relation called plural marriage. Well, time has proved that all who professed to be Saints were not Saints. Some did not like that peculiar religious principle, although they pretended so to do.

I remember when my babe was about eighteen months old, I took him to a neighbor’s. One woman looked at him and said, “Well, that is the smartest spiritual child I ever saw.” Another lady asked her if she did not think spiritual children were as smart as other children. She answered she did not. I had my own thoughts. Was it consistent to think the Lord would command his people to adopt a system of marriage that would degenerate the mind of the human specie? I could not see it in that light. Well, in those days the principle was new and strange, and so different from our traditions and the customs of our former lives, that we cannot wonder that some balked a little. The contrast of today and thirty-six years ago is very great in many respects. All know how it is today; but few know how it was then. Now we see thrift and plenty. The people have good homes and an abundance of the comforts of life. Then it was poverty and privation, toil and hardship. But few children had been born in the celestial order of marriage; now a great portion on the inhabitants of this territory is peopled with men and women born in the order of plural, or celestial marriage with large families born and growing up in the same holy order of matrimony, being taught in all the pure principles of the Gospel. Truly the Lord’s hand is over this people for good. Blessed be the name of the Lord.

Emily Dow Partridge Smith

Salt Lake City, July 24^th 1883

Oct. 16^th – Bishop Hunter died.

19^th – I attended Bishop Hunter’s funeral

Nov. 3^rd – Today I moved to Carlie Croxall’s. This morning as soon as I woke up my mind reverted back to Nauvoo; and I was back in the Mansion House, living over again some of the incidents of my long ago life. And ended as usual by making myself sick with weeping. Well, I am here with Carlie, because she needs me, and my help, more than any of the rest. Mark will do nothing for her or the children, and she has no way of support until she can sell something. I have no fears for the Lord will help those that trust in Him.

4^th – It is snowing and the mountains are hidden from view.

5^th – I left off tea and coffee. Helped Cad mend her dining room carpet. My head felt so bad at noon I made and drank a little tea. Mark came in, he is a perfect wreck. Carl came from Logan, bringing Ada with him. She has been going to school there. All were glad to see her, and she was gad to get home.

6^th – Had the headache for the want of tea. Went to the 18^th Ward Relief Society in the afternoon.

7^th – Went over the hill to see my children. Left Len quite sick. Hyrum started east in the evening.

8^th – Mamie and Emily were over here. Len is better.

Dec. 4^th – Carlie Croxall has gone to have her daughter, Carol, and Kate Clawson baptized. The photographer came and took a picture of Carlie’s house, with me standing on the porch. Last month, for several evenings, the sky was a blood red extending from west to south. But since Dec., it has disappeared, and fog has taken its place.

5^th – 7:20 o’clock, Emily Clawson’s third son was born. His name is Chester Y.

12^th – The red light has not entirely disappeared—the sky in the west is quite red this evening.

24^th – Christmas eve. Carlie says we must all be children together tonight and hang up our stockings.

25^th – Very little snow on the ground—hardly enough to make it seem like Christmas. My children or rather one of my grandchildren brought my stocking in, full to the brim of candy, figs and such like. In the top was a very pretty white neck tie from Ada. She is one of the best girls I ever saw. We have all arranged to take dinner together at Emily’s, as she is not able to go out yet. We have got a Christmas tree and it is loaded down with toys for the children, and other nice things for the older ones. There were twenty four of my family there. Carlos gave me a small desk. Emily and Mamie gave me a box with comb, brush and looking glass. Carlie and Josephine gave me a wind up lamp. Lulu gave a silk bag—her own work. We had a splendid good time. I like to see the family all together. I would like to see my father’s family all together sometime—but it is not likely that I ever shall in this world.

26^th – I hope Santa Claus has not missed anyone in this city. I do not think he has, for there is none so poor or destitute of friends as to have nothing provided for the holidays.

Jan. 1^st, 1884 – New Year’s Day. Cold but quite pleasant. How thankful we ought to be, as a people, and individually, to our Father in Heaven for the many mercies and blessings that we enjoy, here in the

valleys of the mountains. And how careful we ought to be to keep all his commandments and to live by every word that he deigns to give his people.

Last night the sky was very red. Who can behold the signs of the times, and not know that the end draweth nigh.

May the Lord bless and prosper my family through the coming year. Help them Oh Lord to understand thy laws and to keep them, that they may have joy in thy kingdom. Also remember all of my father’s house wherever they may be. Provide for them, and comfort and strengthen their hearts. Bless the honest amongst thy people, and throughout the world.

Jan. 2^nd – Snowing—some sleighs out but very cold.

7^th – John W. and William Rossiter called to ask me if I wanted to be buried in the Cemetery where President Young is buried; they had been to all the other wives. All desire to be buried near Pres. Young. I thought I would reserve the right also, as the City Council had granted us that privilege. I hope they will not be in a hurry to bury us. Our graves are to be measured off, and we are to be buried according to the date of our being married to Pres. Young, or the one that was married first is to lie next to him, and so on and on; Mary V. was married last, she will lie the farthest off. Now I would rather we would range as we die and leave no space between for anybody else, for all may never be buried there at all. Well, if they will mark the spot of each grave with a nice headstone, and write us a splendid obituary, we ought to be satisfied, and rejoice that we are favored with so much fore knowledge, but I repeat, I hope they will not hurry us. Harriet Cook Young refused to be buried there, so John W. and Rossiter said.

8^th – Attended Mary V. Young’s funeral. Remarks were made by Bro. Cannon (George Q.), Bro. J. F. Smith, and Bro. Taylor. He spoke a few words of comfort to Pres. Young’s widows. He said that in the early days of polygamy, when it was first taught to the brethren in Nauvoo, it was a little hard to receive in consequence of their traditional ideas. He received a testimony that the principle was true. He saw Joseph surrounded with a number of the most beautiful women that he ever saw in his life and he knew they were his wives. The brethren spoke very comforting to the immediate friends—and in fact, to every Latter-day Saint, for what affects one, as regards to principle, affects every other Latter-day Saint. Mary V. was buried at the extreme end of the enclosure by the north wall. And this is what puzzles me.

Jan. 9^th – After a little more time to consider the subject of where I would like to be buried, I think I would prefer the general burying ground of the saints; where I can have my children around me when they die.

Feb. 28^th, 1884 – I am sixty years old today. It does not seem possible. I cannot realize it at all. To look back the years seem so short. And then again it seems so long. (My children) are very thoughtful of their mother. Truly I am blessed in my children.

Bishop Hardy’s sure cure for Rheumatism. Try it. Have the patient ready for bed, soak the feet in a tub full of very warm water and bran. Take pint of best brandy, stir in a pinch of cayenne pepper, divide it in three parrs, drink one, get into bed, wrapped in blankets, repeat the next day, and the next.

Attended Mahonri Young’s funeral

27^th – Attended meeting in the Tabernacle. Brother Penrose bore a strong testimony to the truth of Mormonism. One thing particularly noticeable among the strangers was so many bald heads.

May 1^st – Today our clocks were set forwards twenty-eight minutes; a change of time in the mountains.

16^th – Carlie, Carlos and myself started for Logan to be at the dedication of the Temple. Stopped at Brown’s boarding house. On the 17^th went to meeting in the Temple.

18^th – I attended meeting in the Tabernacle, in the forenoon. Came home with Carlos in the afternoon. Carlie remained until Monday and then came home. I bought, for five cents, a little vase, with a ram’s head on it, as a memento of my Logan trip. It being my first to that place.

June 1^st – Pres. Young’s birthday. The family had a reunion at the Social Hall. It proved to be quite unsatisfactory.

2^nd – Worms, worms, Salt Lake has got the worms.

7^th – Carlie gave me the picture of the Nauvoo Temple. I don’t know what made me cry, but a sad feeling came over me and I had a good cry all by myself.

23^rd – Went to the five acre lot to stay a few weeks to try and help a little by taking care of the milk, and make some butter for Carl, but found it so hot in the middle of the day that I could not stand it. I find I cannot do as I did when I was younger. I came home Thursday feeling very tired and lame.

8^th – Mark came up, and he and Caroline signed their divorce. Same day Marlowe Cummings brought her $400 to clinch the sale of her City Creek lot. Sold to Walt Squires.

21^st – Carlie says she has sold her buggy and harness for $65.00. She paid $5.00 for mending the buggie, and gave Juliette one half of the remainder and then concluded, as Juliette was in such close circumstances that she would let her have her share too, it being $30.00. Then she would take the horse for her part. She also let Juliette have one quart of milk each day.

Carlie was notified by the Bishop to pay the ten dollars fee for her divorce, which she paid. Bishop Whitney sent Carlos with the notice, because he was ashamed to come himself. But it was Bro. Taylor’s orders to collect it of Carlie, as they could not get it of Mark, who by rights ought to have paid it.

20^th – Went to the Contributor Office to see a picture gotten up to represent my father. Bro. Junious Wells is trying to get something that will do to put in the Contributor. But it is a pretty hard thing to do as my father had no pictures taken of himself. Bro. Wells took me in his buggy down to Sister Clark’s to get a photo of Platte thinking he might possibly get some expressions from it.

29^th – I moved to Emily’s. Went to the Theatre in the evening. Sister Lewis sent a bouquet of flowers to put on Bro. Young’s grave, as it was the anniversary of he death.

30^th – Went to the Matinee and in the evening went with Sister Lightner to the Theatre, H. B. Clawson giving me passes each time.

17^th – Caroline Lyman went home, the rest that came up to conference and went home last week. They were Eliza, Edward Leo, Fred and his wife.

Nov. 3^rd – Bro. Preston moved into my house. It is in a worse condition if possible, than it was when I moved out of it. If it is right I would like to sell it.

Carlie went to the Endowment House with C.

31^st – The old Kimball Mill burned.

Dec. I see in the Exponent, Dec. 1^st, Sister Wells has started my autobiography. I did not expect to see it in this number and it almost took away my breath. Two spirits have been influencing me since I have been writing; one tries to shame me out of it by showing me my weaknesses, and sometimes I have almost given it up; the other says go ahead and do the best you can, never mind what people say; let those that can, do better, and so I have kept on.

Dec. 25^th – I spent Christmas at Cad’s. We missed Mamie and the children who were up in the Canyon. I went to the matinee.

Feb. 15^th – Sunday morning. It looks like more snow and we have already more than is common for this valley. Many of our brethren have had to flee from their homes on account of the persecutions of our enemies. Some have gone to foreign lands to find protection that cannot be found here in this once boasted land of liberty and freedom. But peace is about to be taken from off the face of the earth, according to the prophecies.

April 23^rd – Elerback bought my homestead, or bargained for it and had me sign the deed and was to pay the money on Monday but wanted to see Preston first (he had rented the place) and then he bought Emiline’s place without seeing me again.

24^th – Received subpoena to appear at court forthwith as a witness in the case of H. B. Clawson who is in custody. Josephine is also subpoenaed.

Extract from the Prophet Joseph Smith’s Journal (I am putting it is Edward Partridge’s section. DMK)

April 18^th , 1882 (Either this item is out of place or the date is wrong) Signed the deed conveying lot seven in Block Sixty-two containing one and a quarter acres as plotted in Plot B., Salt Lake City Survey. Known as the Head Place in the 12^th Ward.

July 19^th – Went to the Opera House to hear Joseph Smith, the son of the Prophet, preach (Restored or Reorganized Church). He said they had no persecution, they could live anywhere and with anybody in peace and they preach anywhere, even in the Court House of the mobocrats that had killed his father, and not be disturbed. My brother, Edward, and sister, Eliza, went also.

11^th – Carlie took a short ride in the tithing carriage.

25^th – About 7:00 Thursday morning Mamie’s first boy was born.

March 2^nd – My sister, Eliza M. Lyman, died. Hyrum B. Clawson was released.

6^th – Attended the woman’s mass meeting at the Theatre—it was so crowded I was not able to get a seat where I could see or hear.

10^th – The Dep. Marshals came to Emily’s to search the house, and also the one where Josephine lived and subpoenaed them. I left and went to the Lion House. Stayed there one week with Susan.

Sayings of Joseph Smith the Prophet in 1835. It was the will of God that they (the Twelve) should be ordained to the ministry and go forth to prune the vineyard for the last time, or the coming of the Lord, which was nigh, even fifty-six years should wind up the scene.

(Articles published in the Exponent signed Eng. E.N.G. –E. Dow – were written by Emily P. Young.)

July 25^th – Five minutes to 8 o’clock in the evening, President Taylor died. His funeral was Friday following.

Aug. 11^th – Hopt was executed at the Pen, he was shot a little after twelve o’clock.

22^nd – Mamie slept in her new house west of the Park (Liberty), for the first time.

8^th – Mamie’s 4^th girl was born. Thursday about 9 o’clock in the morning—Alice.

10^th – Mamie’s baby was blessed and named Alice. Went to the Lion House and got the little desk and small piece of lace that E.R.S. Smith left me in her will from Bro. L. Snow.

24^th – Went to Mamie’s to spend Christmas, stayed until Tues. Josephine also went.

Dec. 30^th – Carlos and Alice had their first daughter born—Naoma Dowden Young. She was born in the 2^nd Ward.

Jan. 2^nd 1888 – Went to Mamie’s. Vera has been very sick, first with the measles, then a complication of other diseases. She is much better, and we have hopes of her recovery.

Carlos accepted a position in the Church Architect’s office.

Naoma D. Young was blessed in fast meeting.

I have skipped over my birthday the 28^th of Feb. My daughters came down and brought in several presents. Emily gave me a dozen plates and one platter. Carli gave me the Juvenile Instructor. Carlos gave me a glass sugar bowl. Mamie gave me a glass pitcher and four or five yards of flannel. Josephine gave me a cornucopia. Minnie a vase, and Eugenia two cups and saucers.

18^th – Carlos paid me one hundred dollars for two rods by 23 back of my barn. Len paid me one hundred dollar for three rods by 23 a short time ago.

19^th – Planted four little poplar trees in front of my house. Moved my things from Josephine’s. Am too tired today to say anything.

19^th – Carl, Len and Emily Clawson started for Manti to attend the dedication of the Temple. P. went the same day in the afternoon.

22^nd – Emily, Carl and Len returned home, they enjoyed their trip very much. Len and Carl heard the music of angels, and Emily saw a halo of light around John Taylor’s head while he was speaking, also a shadowy form of the head and shoulders and arm of a personage behind him. The right arm was uplifted. She thought it might be her father as it seemed about his size. She said Bro. Taylor looked as she imagined Brother Joseph looked. She also saw a light, dimmer, around F. M. Lyman’s head, and some others.

June 9^th – Went to the Matinee. Stevens’ class performed “Bohemian Girl.” Carl went over Jordan.

July 21^st – Emily and Lulu went to Soda Springs.

23^rd – Len, Mamie and the children went up Parley’s Canyon to spend the twenty-forth. Carl and Alice went up in City Creek Canyon. Carl and Mamie both asked me to go with them , but I do not feel able. I have roughed it all my life, and now I am old, I am content to stay at home and take it easy. Last Thursday, the 19^th, I went with Carl for a ride about 5 or 6 miles up in City Creek Canyon.

29^th – Carl and Alice came home from City Creek Canyon. The 30^th, they went back to the Canyon. I rode uptown with Mamie. Amelia called to get my signature to a petition to have the executors raise our allowance from 50 to one hundred dollars. Mamie and Len went up in Parley’s Canyon.

Aug. 17^th – This morning a little after one o’clock I arose to close the window as the wind was blowing hard, and I discovered a Luner rainbow, it soon faded away.

Aug. 17^th – L. G. Hardy returned from Logan. He went last Monday.

28^th – Mamie’s tin wedding.

20^th – I have been helping Carlie three days to move. This morning she had to get out of the way on account of the deputies. They came to her house but she was not at home.

30^th – Emily and Carli and some of their children started for California in the evening. My sister, Caroline, came up from Oak City.

Oct. 1^st – Carlos began his house about two weeks ago.

Nov 1^st – Ada, Mark, and Tracy started for San Francisco. I have been up with Ada for two or three days helping her get ready. Came home today feeling very tired.

2^nd – Helped tie off two comforters, one for Mamie and one for Alice Young.

12^th – Peter How of Winona was murdered at his home at that place.

29^th – Spent the afternoon Thanksgiving day at Mamie’s.

Dec. 2^nd – Hyrum and Lulu came in to see if I would go with her to San Francisco. I decided to go. In the afternoon went to the Tabernacle to meeting. Prof. Talmage and H. J. Grant were the speakers.

4^th – Spent the day with Lulu, she is sick with a violent cold. Intend to start next Saturday for San Francisco if Lulu is well enough.

12^th – Lulu, Shirley, and myself started for San Francisco. We had a very pleasant trip and arrived safe.

San Francisco (I learned from reading a talk Aunt Dord (Georgie Hardy) gave at a Granddaughters Luncheon that the reason Emily had to go to San Francisco was to escape the officers searching for plural wives and imprisoning the husbands. DMK)

Dec. 14^th – Arrived in San Francisco about 9 o’clock in the morning. One of the car wheels broke the last day but as good luck would have it, it was one of the back cars and it hindered but a few minutes and we got in a little later for us. We found Josephine C. quite sick, but much better than she had been. The weather is quite pleasant today.

15^th – It is raining this morning. Josephine is better and Shirley is better too. Carlie’s children are ailing somewhat.

17^th – It has cleared off pleasant.

22^nd – Hyrum arrived in San Francisco.

23^rd – Carlie and I took a walk over to see the bay. Saw some very pretty residences. The scenery is beautiful, look in what direction we may. The dwellings near the beach look as though they might be washed away very easy.

25^th – Rather foggy—had some very nice Christmas presents.

26^th – Rained hard last night and is dark and rainy today. Between 8 and 9 o’clock in the evening Scott Clawson was born.

30^th – Went to see the ocean, passed through the Park on foot. Took lunch at the Cliff House. When we returned, we found Carlos there; he had just come from Salt Lake. His coming was a great surprise, but he was very welcome.

Jan. 1^st 1889 – Carlos and Carlie have gone to the ocean. Yesterday they went to Oakland. A partial eclipse of the sun today.

6^th – Hyrum, Carl, Lulu, Ivie and Winnie started to visit Monterey but soon came back because there was no excursion train going out.

7^th – Carl hired a carriage and took the girls, Lulu, Ivie and Winnie for a ride. Afterwards he took Carlie, Carroll and myself around some parts of the city, also into the cemetery. Hyrum blessed the baby and named it Scott.

8^th – Hyrum starts home today. Carl and Lulu went to Oakland with them.

10^th – Carlos started for Salt Lake City. Carlie, Lulu, Nell and Carroll went to Oakland with him. He left me 50 dollars. Last night we went to the Alcazar Theater.

26^th – Attended Matinee at the Bijou Theater.

27^th – Took a walk down to the Bay. Going up hill and down over sand without any road, was almost tired to death when I got home.

29^th – Have just heard of Mark Croxall’s death. He died last Saturday, Jan. 26^th .

15^th – Have been sick for the last week, am much better. All are just as kind to me as they can be. Spent $1.30 for crackers, alcohol, eye water.

April 15^th – Nellie H. Y. came to San Francisco.

17^th – Went to Monterey—fare $10.00.

19^th – Hyrum, Emily, Carlie took a ride on the boat—took Ethel and Marion.

21^st – Went to North Beach and gathered shells.

Salt Lake

July 28^th – Went up in City Creek Canyon with Carl. Stayed one night.

Aug. 9^th – Emily, children arrived from San Francisco.

Oh, how beautiful it is this morning after the rain. It has been an unusually dry and hot summer. A great scarcity of water all over the territory. For several days it has looked some like rain, and yesterday there was the most beautiful shower I ever saw. It came down so calm and graceful, no wind to stir a drop. No wonder we wanted to go out and take a shower bath. There was one thing that particularly took my attention while it was raining the hardest. A flock of ten geese stood with all their heads to the south, their necks stretched and bills raised to the heavens as though they were drinking in the rain, and also giving thanks for the same. And well may man, beast and fowl thank God for this beautiful and timely shower. . . . E. P. Young

Oct. 6^th – Conference – Carlos was voted Church architect. Eugenie Hardy was baptized by her father.

Nov. 8^th – I started for San Fran.

10^th – Arrived at San Francisco, had a very pleasant journey.

14^th – Went with Lulu to Gilmor’s Matinee at the Mechanics’ Pavilion.

24^th – Hyrum, Emily and Lulu went to Monterey.

28^th – Thanksgiving Day—had a nice fat turkey for dinner. After dinner Hyrum got a two seated easy carriage and we rode all over the Golden Gate Park and around the city. Then in the evening we went to see the “Siege of Paris.”

26^th – Alice’s second daughter was born, Constance.

Dec. 11^th – Hyrum and Lulu started from San Fran for Salt Lake City.

A Prayer

San Francisco—Pine Street

Dec. 23, 1889

Our Father who art in heaven, as this day has been set apart by thy saints in the valleys of the mountains for fasting and prayer, wilt Thou hear their petitions and grant their desires and turn away from their midst their oppressors. If Thy people have transgressed will Thou forgive them. And, inasmuch as they are humble themselves before Thee this day, wilt Thou draw near unto them and extend Thine arm of mercy in their behalf. Suffer not their enemies to trample them down and take away their rights as citizens as they are inclined to do. Thou beholdest, Father, that this is what they are working for and to obliterate Thy work upon the earth.

Now, Father, inasmuch as they spread snares for the feet of Thy people, may they be caught, and where they dig pits may they fall into them themselves. Wilt Thou bless those that have befriended thy people, and bless the honorable throughout the world. Suffer not the oppressor and evil-doer to flourish in the land. Soften the hearts of the rulers of the land that they may deal out equity and justice to all mankind. Look upon those that have wandered from the faith of their fathers. Open the eyes of their understanding that they may see the errors of their ways and return again unto Thy fold. Wilt Thou bless Thy people with health and may the night of affliction soon pass away and may the morning dawn with joy for Thy people. O, Lord, deliver them and scatter their enemies and take away their influence that they may have no power to hurt Thy people. And praise the honor and glory shall be Thine forever and forever. Amen.

Dec. 25^th – Christmas morning – I expect Emily and I and the two little children will not have a very merry time here alone but we are thankful for the blessings we have. I got a letter from Carlie this morning, saying all was well at home for which I feel grateful. They have sent us some tokens of love. Carlie sent me “Ben Hur” and Mamie and Josephine three nice handkerchiefs and black lace barbs, Geneva a pincushion, Clisbee picture, Mamie’s children a white silk handkerchief. Emily’s children some linen handkerchiefs. Lulu a black lace neck dress. Emily and Hyrum gave me a gasoline stove. Well, I hope the folks at home will have a pleasant time today.

This afternoon I received from Carl and Alice a down pillow and a pair of slippers. Also a letter. From Mrs. Bell Sears a small bottle of smelling salts. Nell Clawson a bottle of perfume.

Jan. 1^st , 1890 – New Year’s Day – Emily and I have been alone today. Mr. and Mrs. Sears called in the evening. Josephine Clawson went to the Park with Clamie Jones. It has been pleasant all day. We have been very lonesome. I shall be so glad when Emily can go home.

2^nd – Raining all day. Very gloomy and dull.

3^rd – Cloudy and raining most of the day.

4^th – Rainy. Emily’s anniversary wedding day.

5^th – Morning pleasant, Josephine Clawson going to the Park with Clemie Jones. No rain today. No mail today nor yesterday. There is quite an excitement over the rescuing of Antonio Nicholas on the night of the 3^rd of Jan. by the “Sea Queen” tug master, Thomas Charles Locker and two reporters of the Examiner. One jumped into the ocean, H. R. Haxton, and succeeded in saving the man. He, “the man” was nearly perished with the cold, it was raining and there was a cold wind blowing over the rock Tonito. Allen Kelly was the name of the other reporter.

6^th – Pleasant—frost last night. The trains got in and E. got several letters and a paper. Afternoon cold, cloudy and some rain. More letters with check for Emily Clawson.

7^th – Very pleasant this a.m. Letters this morning, also papers. Emily went down town to get her check cashed. Pleasant all day. Josephine Clawson ran away down to the grocery store and was gone two or three hours.

8^th – Pleasant, more letters, one from Hyrum. I see by the Salt Lake papers that Josephine Young has sold her home in the 18^th Ward on the 4^th of Jan. for five thousand and five hundred. A short time before I left home in Salt Lake City I wrenched my knee and have been quite lame since. About a week ago I stumbled and wrenched the same knee again. The pain was terrible for a little while and I thought I had finished what I had left undone when I hurt me before, but in a few minutes my lameness was nearly gone and I am much better ever since. I think I must have slipped it out of joint the first time and the

second time placed it right again. I am still lame but not near as bad as I was before I hurt me the second time.

9^th – Pleasant. Emily went to Sears’ and they both went to do some trading. No letters, Scott is just learning to walk, consequently gets a good many falls. He got one today and he must have rammed something into his mouth when he fell. But he seemed all right until evening when he began to cry and he could not be pacified for two or three hours. Emily gave him some consecrated oil and put the blessed handkerchief around his neck. He soon quieted down and went to sleep and seems all right ever since. He scarcely ever cries when he is well and that made us worry more than we otherwise have done.

10^th – Pleasant—frost last night. The vines in the yard are all flattened down and the tops are killed by the frost. One letter.

11^th – Pleasant, no mail. Emily is almost sick with a cold.

12^th – Raining. Scott is not feeling well. Girl’s High School burned.

13 – Pleasant. E and S are feeling better. Four letters.

19^th – Still no mail. The trains are snow bound.

20^th – Pleasant this morning.

20^th – Rained last night—rains almost every night. Cloudy but not raining. Men fixing the road in front of the house. Last night I dreamed of seeing a company start out and wondered where they were going, when someone, Carlie I think, whispered to me and said, “Word has just come from the Manti Temple that a new kind of measles has broken out there” and Emily is very much worried about Nell. And then this morning in reading the names of the passengers in the paper that are snowbound on the trains there is mention made of one young lady refusing to give her name as she wants to surprise her mama. Now, I feel sure that is one of Emily’s girls. But I dare not say so to Emily. I hope they will be released soon. Mr. Badlam came in late in the evening and said the blockade would be lifted tomorrow. He was going to telegraph to Hyrum to come to San Francisco as business required his presence here immediately.

22^nd – Raining. Emily commenced to wean Scott. No mail. We feel quite anxious to hear from home.

23^rd – Rainy. Trains not arrived yet. Feel very anxious. Took Scott last night.

24^th – Still raining. E ordered coal.

25^th – Cloudy. Emily went to the Telegraph office to get word. Trains are expected in this evening sure.

26^th – No trains yet on account of more washouts. Pleasant weather.

27^th – Pleasant. Emily received one letter from Lu and one paper from home dated Jan. 14^th. The train got in Sat. night between 1 and 2 o’clock.

28^th – Pleasant. Emily has got no answer from home to her telegram. Wires are down and trains snowbound. There is no knowing when the line will be opened.

29^th – Pleasant. No more mail yet. One week today since Emily began to wean Scott. He is just as good as he can be—sleeps all night without drinking. The fleas are pretty bad. Rainy this afternoon.

30^th – Pleasant this morning—all day. No mail yet.

31^st – Pleasant. The Blockade raised. Trains expected in today. We all feel quite buoyant. Letters came this afternoon, none later than the 18^th. Hope to get more tomorrow. No papers.

Feb. 1^st – Pleasant. Three more letters for Emily dated Jan. 17^th .

2^nd – No rain, no mail, but most terribly lonesome. I am sure I don’t see how Emily can stand it so long.

4^th – Cloudy. We got a batch of papers yesterday and today and I got one letter from my sister, Caroline. But neither I nor Emily have heard anything from home since the blockade has been raised and Emily feels worried thinking some of the children are sick. I feel quite sure there is somebody sick for I can’t account for their not writing any other way. This afternoon Mr. Radlum came in with a telegram saying Hyrum would start for San Fran tonight. And the children were all well. And now we feel very much relieved. And now I suppose we will worry about accidents on the road until they get here. Scott took his first steps alone today.

6^th – A little before 3 o’clock, Hyrum, Lulu, Nell and Chester came—all safe. Quite pleasant today. Feel very glad to have them here.

Feb. 10^th – Election day in Salt lake City. I wonder how things are going there now. I do hope that right will prevail and all will be peace. If there is any trouble it will be laid to the Mormons whether they are guilty or not. May the Lord help His people. In Him is their only hope.

11^th – Word has come that the Liberals have got the election both in Salt Lake and Provo, and sorrow and mourning awaits this people. Still I cannot think the Lord has wholly forsaken his saints. My trust is in our God who doeth all things well and praised be his name forever and forever. All things will resound to His glory and for the good of His people.

12^th – Have heard no more about the election. Felt almost sick yesterday. Know the Liberals never got it honestly but they are the stronger party unless the Lord is on our side. I don’t believe He has entirely forsaken us. We will still trust in Him. We are having pleasant weather now. Hope it will continue. With Emily I visited the Laurel Hill Cemetery. In the evening I attended the Baldwin Theatre with Hyrum, Emily and Nell. “Shanandoah” was the play. The inside of the building is very beautiful.

16^th – All sorts of weather, wind, hail, rain and sunshine. Mr. and Mrs. Sears and Dot took dinner here with Emily.

17^th – Another snow blockade on the Central Pacific.

20^th – Emily moved most of her things from the Pine Street to O’Farrel Street. I don’t feel a bit well today.

21^st – I don’t feel any better. Hope I am not going to be sick.

23^rd – Pleasant today and I feel quite well. Emily and the girls have got things fixed very pleasant and home like. This place is much nicer than the one they have just left. Hyrum has got a gas stove for E’s room and mine and we are very comfortable, but it ain’t home to me.

27^th – Nell went to the Business College. Emily and the girls are feeling quite satisfied with their new home. As for me, I have been homesick ever since I have been here. I don’t feel near as secure here as I did where we were. Hyrum starts home today. It will be lonesome when he is gone.

28^th – Hyrum started from San Fran for Salt Lake yesterday. I thought he seemed a little sad when we started. I am 66 years old today.

March 1^st – Emily’s birthday. She is 41 years old. Hyrum gave her a nice opera glass and bag. Lulu and Nell gave her 5 dollars each. Her mother gave her a $20.00 gold piece.

2^nd – Yesterday we got the presents from home. They sent me a gold watch and handsome card. They sent Emily a half dozen fruit knives and coffee spoon and card for our birthdays.

3^rd – Emily and I took a ride on the Geary Street car. We went the whole length of the line, which gave us a long ride. Emily took Scott.

5^th – We had an execution this morning. It was only a rat. Last evening I espied in the back yard a rat trap. For the fun of it I set it, not for a moment thinking to catch anything in it. This morning Chester came running in from his play, his eyes bulged out with excitement. “Ma, you know that thing out there well, it’s got a rat or something in it.” And sure enough there was a big rat. Nobody dared touch it. So when I got ready, I called Chester and Josephine and we went into the cellar and turned some water in a tub and drowned it. Then Chester took it out in the back lands and buried it or threw it away, I don’t know which. And that’s the execution we had.

21^st – Went to the Golden Gate Park with Emily. We took the Geary streetcar and transferred to the steam. Went through the Conservatory. Saw some beautiful flowers and foliage. Large leaves like velvet. Trees with leaves as large as a man’s body. One bunch of bananas growing on a tree. A pond of goldfish darting in and out among the pond lilies. The heat was quite oppressive inside. Walked around the Park some and returned home very tired and hungry.

Mar. 2^nd – E. gets letters and papers every day now. And has for about a week past.

Mar. 21^st – Carlie, Josephine and two children arrived in San Francisco.

April 1^st – Emily, Carlie, Josephine and I went to the Ocean, and climbed to Sutra Heights. Was very tired when we got home.

8^th – Josephine, Lulu and I went to Presidio. It is a very pretty place. We walked through the place. We met an officer who said, “Ladies, you can walk anywhere you please,” and passed on. Shortly after, an orderly came and gave us a pass to enter the Fort, “Windfield Scott.” We did not know where to find it. So made inquiry and found it to be two miles away. We hired a hack and went. We thought as the officer was so very kind we would not miss the opportunity of seeing all we could while we were out. When we got there we found no sentinel there and the hack driver said everybody went there just as they had a mind to, all San Fran—children and all could go out with any hindrance. Then we were puzzled to know why we were given a pass. We went up two or three pair of solid stone steps and when we got to the top there was a yard with grass and wild flowers growing. We had a good view of the “Golden Gate” and was well paid for going. We gathered some of the flowers.

9^th – Visited “Woodward’s Garden.” It is considerably run down. But there was a good deal worth seeing. A few animals and birds and a spotted seal, a large variety of stuffed birds and animals. We heard the large organ or music box. But we had to buy some poor soda water before they would wind it up. The day was unusually warm.

12^th – Went to Col. Trumbo’s rooms on the sixth floor of the “Palace Hotel.” We went up in the elevator, looked at his beautiful pictures (his wife was not at home) then by his invitation went to a Restaurant and had a French dinner. About twelve courses were served and we were at the table about three hours. When the party broke up, Col. Trumbo, Carlie, Josephine, Phoebe Taylor and Rudger Clawson went to China Town. Hyrum, Emily and I went for a few minutes into the “Wigwam Theatre” then came home.

13^th – Took a trip to Santa Cruz early in the morning. We took the cable car and went to the end of the line where horses were hitched onto the car and took us to the ferry. We went on the steam ferry boat ‘Newark’ and crossed the bay. We landed quite a long way from shore at a wharf built out in the bay. The cars were there and we went in them the rest of the way to land. We had a pleasant ride over low marshey ground, sometimes over long bridges over water and deep gullies, and sometimes along the edge of steep precipices and through tunnels. We passed through eight tunnels. The longest one was a mile and a quarter. We saw some very large trees and some of the tallest and straightest trees I ever saw. The scenery was very beautiful in Santa Clara Valley and in the canyons, and in fact, all the way to Sant Cruz. We passed Alameda, Newark, Santa Clara, San Jose, Los Gatos, Big Trees, and some other places I have forgotten the names of. After dinner we took a carriage and drove along the ocean, sometimes in the water as far as San Lorenzo River. We came back over the bluff and around through the city. We saw an old horse fifty-two years old. We passed a dairy that milked the cows, separated the cream, and churned one hundred and fifty pounds of butter and sent it to San Fran—for sale, all in one day. It was all done by machinery. We went to a restaurant and took lunch. It was quite dark when we got home and we were all tired. The same party went along as were at Trumbo’s yesterday except the Col.

14^th – Erickson’s doomsday but we are here yet.

15^th – Carlie started home. Hyrum, Emily, Josephine and Nell Clawson went to Oakland with her. I was sorry to have her go alone but think she will go safely.

19^th – Josephine Young started for Salt Lake. She and Carlie made us all nice presents.

20^th – It is very lonesome today now Carlie and Josephine have both gone home. Hyrum has taken Phoebe, Lulu and Nell to ride a buggy around the Golden Gate Park.

24^th – About half past three this morning we were awakened by a pretty heavy shock of earthquake. There was no mistake about it this time. The bed shook quite hard. It was something I had never experienced before. The bed was raised up and down and shaking hard for about twenty seconds. Some damage was done at other places. Went to the Baldwin Theatre to see the Bostonians play “Suzette.”

25^th – Hyrum and Phoebe went to Calistoga.

May 2^nd – Went the office and got my railroad ticket extended.

6^th – Carl’s birthday—I wonder what they are doing at home. Went and got my eyes measured and got a pair of glasses.

18^th – Went with Emily, Lulu and children to Golden Gate Park. Then from there to the Cliff House.

20^th – Have just got a letter from Minnie saying her mother has got a baby and think of naming him Aaron. He was born Wednesday morning a quarter after eight, 14 of May 1890.

30^th – Decoration Day. Emily and the children and I went up to Golden Gate Avenue to see the procession. The dance of flowers made it quite inspiring.

June 6^th – My face is swelling but it is not erysipelas. It is more like the mumps.

15^th – If I can get a berth, will start home tomorrow.

16^th – I started from San Fran for home.

18^th – Arrived home safe, and was more than glad to be at home again.

Salt Lake City 1890

June 21^st – Spent the day with Carlie. Her eleventh child was born Friday, June 13^th. Blessed and named on the eighth day, Anne Y. Cannon.

23^rd – Alice and Bessie Clawson started for San Fran.

25^th – Commenced a lace bed spread, finished it on July 10.

July 6^th – There is one subject that is impressed on my mind and I will say a few words in regard to it.

I sometimes hear parents say to their children, “I wish you would take your post and not run like a coward” when other children pick on them. This I think is wrong and is calculated to bring sorrow in after years. Children will fight all that is needful without any encouragement.

Nature is strong in children and they have not judgment to know when they are in the right. They, like older people, are apt to think themselves always in the right.

Right or wrong is not weighed in the balance. Their case is always just and their opponents in the wrong.

Nature unsubdued yields nothing but weeds. If we want fine fruit we must cultivate the trees.

Now encouraging children to retaliate may not be so bad while they are small, but when they get older they will not be apt to fight with fists, but it will be with guns and pistols and very likely somebody is killed, and then it is the prison or the scaffold. Now retaliation is not the teaching of Jesus. He says if thine enemy smite thee on one cheek turn the other also, etc. Now it is much better to suffer wrong than to do wrong. For most brave are those who can bear to be called cowards. Now these are some of my feelings and I shudder when I hear people encourage fighting among the little ones for I feel sure trouble and sorrow will be the result.

Wait until children are old enough to discern between right and wrong. If this course was more strictly observed there would not be so many murders in the world.

The papers are full of people being killed for some fancied wrong. It is generally the case where there is a difficulty that both are to blame. Now who wants their children brought to the gallows, or even imprisoned. Better suffer many insults than to have such terrible troubles brought upon us. For it is not always the guilty one that has to suffer. Neither is it confined to one person, but all connected with him or her as the case may be, have to suffer. Now I hope all parents will be careful how they influence their children for good or bad. Think and act while they are small and easily impressed, that you may escape much sorrow, and have joy in your children instead of sorrow.

Emily P. Young

20^th – Attended meeting at the Tabernacle.

24 – All is quiet down here. Len and family, Carl and family are in the canyons, and I suppose Carlie and family have gone to West Jordan.

Aug. 4^th – Went up in Parley’s Canyon.

5^th – About noon say Don Carlos Dowden Young baptized by his father in Parley’s Creek.

7^th – He was confirmed by Will Hardy, Bishop Taylor his Counselor and Dixson.

10^th – Bert, Jo, and children came home from the canyon. Got caught in a terrible rain storm. Short time after they left, a cloudburst and the camp was in a very demoralized condition. Butter, milk, canned goods and everything near the creek went downstream. Carl’s buggy went down rolling over and over. The next morning when they got it out it was in a sad condition.

15^th – Went over to see a Danish man about our geese. He wanted three dollars before he would let the geese go. I don’t think the damage was more than 50 cents, but I thought best to pay it for I don’t want any fuss with our neighbors. And I think he would quarrel for a very little if anybody would quarrel with him.

16^th – I finished three bedspreads and two tidies.

26^th – Finished two temple aprons, one for Willard Croxall and one for Alice D. Young.

Sept. 3 – Finished Len’s apron.

19^th – Naoma fell in the creek.

Dec 7^th – Went to meeting at the Tabernacle. As we were early for meeting, we, Len, Mamie and I went into the Templeton Hotel. It was the first time I had been inside. Carl, Mamie and Len took lunch. I tasted the soup but did not partake of anything else, having had my dinner. Everything was very nice.

Dec. 24^th – Carlie and Ada came in bringing me presents for Christmas.

Dec. 25^th – Christmas morning tolerably pleasant. Old Santa Claus has been very liberal in his gifts to me and sister, Caroline.

28^th – We all took dinner with Carlie in her new house near Jordan River.

Jan. 1^st, 1891 – I feel thankful that I am as well as I am although my health is not good, yet I see others much worse than I am. God has given me many blessings. Too many to be mentioned here. I have my children and grandchildren near by me with the exception of Emily and family, and they are good and kind to me and in the faith which is a great comfort to me. May the Lord bless them and keep them in the path of righteousness until the end of their days. Which may God grant may be very many.

Emily P. Young

22^nd – Brother George Q. Cannon sent early in the morning for me to come down as Carlie was taken very sick. Carlie soon got better. I stayed with her all night. Bro. C. gave me a very kind invitation to dinner. We had the Twelve and some other friends there. We had a dance in the evening and quite a number of younger people were there.

Feb. 5^th – Attended fast meeting in the 2^nd Ward.

28^th – Emily returned from San Francisco after an absence of over two years.

My last birthday I was sick with the Grip. Emily gave me a very nice pocket handkerchief. Carlie gave me a shoulder shawl. Carl gave me some cologne and other things. Mamie gave me a hanging lamp. Jo gave me a large looking glass. Genie gave me a picture she painted herself.

May 1^st – Received from Estate 100 dollars.

21^st – When reading the book “Miracle in Stone” when it was first published, the idea was suggested to my mind that the pyramid might be the foundation of another planet to be rolled into space at some future time. And now the more I read and the more I learn and understand the truths of eternity, the more I am convinced that it is so. But after all I many be mistaken.

July 2^nd – Received from the Estate 100 dollars.

Oct. 11^th – Went to meeting to hear Joseph P. Smith preach. Last week was Conference and Fair week. I had some lace work in which I took a small prize.

Dec. 25^th – Christmas—very cold. Took dinner with Mamie Hardy.

Jan. 1^st – 1892 – Had my first sleigh ride with L.G. Hardy.

Jan 14^th – Paid for coal ten dollars and fifty cents.

28^th – Today I am sixty-eight. My children and oldest grandchildren came in bringing their refreshments. A one year’s subscription to the Juvenile Instructor.

March 1^st – Emily’s birthday. Have not been up as she is so busy getting ready for Nellie’s wedding. I am not feeling well. Received from the Estate $100, which I thank the Lord for. I am more comfortable now than I ever was in my life before. I enjoy my little quiet home and all the other comforts my Father in Heaven has given me. Today Bert and Josephine were rebaptized.

March 3^rd – Bert and Josephine were confirmed in the Second Ward. Also their baby was blessed and named Gilbert, Bro. Galiger being mouth.

Mar. 6^th – Carlie’s twelfth child, a boy, was born, named Georgius.

March 9^th – I attended the wedding of Lee Brown and Nell G. Clawson. Leonard G. Hardy performed the ceremony at Nell’s mother’s house.

11^th – Visited Carlie. Afterwards I went to the President’s office and found they were wanting me on business pertaining to the Temple lot in Jackson County. I must have been led by inspiration for I knew nothing of their wanting me at the time. When we were speaking of Bro. Joseph and Bro. Young, Bro. Woodruff said “They are praying for you.” I asked him about my children’s names as there is a difference of opinion on that subject. He and Bro. Joseph F. Smith said that my children’s names were, Young Smith and should so be called while working in the Temple, and if anyone in the Temple objected, I was to say that they both said so.

12^th – The Josephite lawyers called to notify me that I must appear as a witness in their lawsuit—also one of the opposite party called.

14^th – Well, I have been up to give in my testimony concerning the Temple lot in Independence, Jackson, Co., Missouri, on the Josephite side. And Mr. Kelly the lawyer paid me $1.25. I will have to go as a witness for the other side soon. The Hedrikites are the other party.

15^th – Bert and Josephine started for Manti. I had arranged to go with them but had to give it up on account of a lawsuit in which I had to appear as a witness. I feel somewhat disappointed but think it all right. I am notified to appear again before the commissioner tomorrow.

17^th – I attended the Jubilee at the Tabernacle of the fiftieth anniversary of organization of the Relief Society at Nauvoo before the Prophet Joseph’s death. In the afternoon I attended the 2^nd Ward reunion, and spoke about five minutes.

Josephine returned from Manti. She accomplished all that she went down for which was to be sealed over the alter, and have her children adopted. The adversary threw every obstacle in her way that he could.

I write lines by Edward Partridge, First Bishop of the Church. (I will put them in Edward Partridge’s section—DMK)

March 19^th – Mr. Hall came down with a buggy for me to go up to an office in the Templeton to take the witness stand. I was there several hours and underwent a rigid examination. I felt sometimes as though the top of my head might move off. I was very weary and sometimes quite indignant, but had to pocket my pride and indignation and answer all the important questions the lawyers chose to ask. Truly we are turning backward, and a very strange thing it is, when after all these many years, Joseph the Prophet is being tried in court for teaching and practicing plural marriage. And some of his wives are brought forward to testify either for or against him.

Before going to be last night, the ground was white with snow.

Mar. 20^th – The snow is about gone and it is quite pleasant. I feel almost tired out.

23^rd – I have not hardly got over the --------------- I underwent on the witness stand. It has been on me night and day ever since. I can now think of a great many things that seemingly might have been better answers. And I have been asked, why did you not say things and why didn’t you say that. Well, I said there is no use asking these questions now. If I could have thought of them I might have answered them, but as I did not I had to say what came into my mind. I asked God to assist me and if I did not do as well as I might, I did as well as I could.

24^th – The lawyers got through the taking testimony. Kelly became rather insolent before he got though and insulted the witnesses several times. He was the Josephite lawyer and Hall was president of the Hedrikites or Church of Christ, as they style themselves.

April 8^th – Went to the tithing office and paid $40 tithing and donated to the Salt Lake Temple $10. Don went up on to the top of the Temple.

April 11 or 12 – Bro. Woodruff and wife, and also Carlos went up in the elevator to the top of the Temple.

Apr. 26^th – Started for Manti in company with Bro. G. Q. Cannon, H. B. Clawson, John Q. Cannon and wife, Annie, Emily, Carlie, Lulu, Mamie H, Mamie Croxal Cannon, Will Cannon and Ada who went to get married. Twelve with myself, Brother Cannon had a special car which made it very pleasant. Two porters or cooks on the car got us a very nice lunch coming and going. Found the Temple Hotel pretty full of guests. Some of us stayed there and H. B., Emily, Lulu went to Bro. Farnsworth and John C. and wife stopped at Bro. Maibens.

27^th – Went into the Temple. Mamie and I took names and went through. Mamie took Sarah Partridge and I, Ann Partridge. Will and Ada were married. Carlie’s baby was very sick. Will, Ada and M.C. sat up with it until 3 o’clock then Mamie Hardy got up. I had a pain in my shoulder so I could not rest. E. and Carlie did some work.

28^th – Got up early and started for home. C’s baby is better but quite sick yet. Arrived home a little after 12 o’clock and found all well but Josephine, but she is much better than she was when we left home. Mamie Hardy went to the top of the Temple tower yesterday. The weather is fine today. Although we had snow most of the going.

29^th – I feel very tired today, more so than while I was traveling, although my shoulder does not pain me. Went to Ada’s wedding reception in the evening. Met a good many friends, Bro. Woodruff, Joseph F. Smith, Bro. G. Q. Cannon, and wives, and many others. Had a little conversation with Bro. Joseph F. Smith, about the Josephites. He said they, the Josephites, did not want testimony taken relating to plural marriage, and was quite mad about it. I thought they could not know what they were doing if they inaugurated the work. I had a very pleasant time. Everything was nice as could be. All of my children and some of my grandchildren were there. It was held at Carlie’s. Bro. Cannon is just as good as can be. If they (Carlie’s) children were his own he could be no better. Lulu, Nell and Lee, Kate, Allie, Bessie and Minnie and Genie were there, and most of Pr. Young’s boys and girls were there. Well, I am glad I was there. I don’t think I ever enjoyed myself better at such a gathering in my life.

May 6^th – I went to the President’s office to get some instructions concerning a letter I had received from Mr. Hall, Pres. of the Hedrikites. I left the letter and also the original copy deed to the Temple lot in Independence, and am awaiting further instruction. Called at Emily’s. In the evening met with some of our friends at Carl’s house, it being his 37^th birthday. We had a very pleasant time. Some singing, some instrumental music, and various kinds of games.

First, Ada played on the piano. Then Lulu on the guitar. Bert sang and played on the guitar. Minnie and Genie played a duet on the piano. Alice Clawson played on the piano and sang a song. Kate Clawson escorted Abraham Cannon to the piano when he and Carl sang “Rocked in the Cradle of the Deep;” Alice Clawson playing the accompaniment on the piano. Carl sang a song, Mamie played the accompaniment. H. B. Clawson recited the “Maniac.” Susan Gates spoke on her name. Bro. George Q. Cannon submitted a question to be decided by the company. It was as follows: A man aged 60 had married in polygamy a woman five years older than he was. Afterwards his first wife had died, but according to the laws of the land and the Manifesto issued by the Pres. of our Church he could not live with his second wife without marrying her over again. Now the question is—would it be best to marry his old wife that could bear him no children or get him a younger wife that could raise a family. Some decided in favor of the old wife, and some for the younger wife. Emily thought if she was the man she would take the young wife, but if she was the woman she would decide in favor of the old woman. My decision was “being an old woman” that he ought to take a young wife and raise a family instead of tying himself to a woman that had ceased to bear children. I think I would be willing to make the sacrifice for the principle’s sake, besides I think I would be happier because I would make my husband happier by giving him his liberty. And would be more apt to secure his affections by so doing, and that would be what I would want more than anything else. For what enjoyment would there be in being acknowledged wife when love had fled.

The games were participated in by old and young (except myself. I had performed my part 37 years ago and this is the result) the blowing of the feather was the most ludicrous and caused the most fun. All seemed to enjoy themselves tip-top. Refreshments were served. Chocolate coffee cakes, bread and butter, strawberries, ice-cream, oranges and bananas. Those present not mentioned were Alonzo Young, William Cannon, Len Hardy, Josephine Young, Mamie Cannon, Emily Clawson, Carlie Cannon, and several of the oldest children living near.

16^th – Bert started on his first mission.

17^th – Sister Zina and Rachel Grant came down and washed and anointed Mamie Hardy and Alice Dowden Young.

June 3^rd – Carl and Alice’s daughter Kate was born.

15^th – Mark Y. Croxall was badly scalded.

Aug. 7^th – Went with Len in the buggie to visit Mamie in the canyon at her summer resort. Josephine is still there.

Jan. 1^st, 1893 – At 7 o’clock in the morning, Mamie’s fifth daughter was born. (Aunt Dord)

8^th – Bro. George Q. Cannon blessed Mamie’s baby and named her Georgie Young Hardy.

Feb. 28^th – I am 69 today. We all met at Mamie Hardy’s.

4^th – Today or rather this evening, I was married to Joseph Smith the Prophet, 1843, 50 years ago.

Apr. 3 – Went up to the Temple. Went into the Annex and went through the passage into the Temple. Went through all the rooms. Up on the elevator to the top story also onto the roof. Went into the pulpit, sat on the First Presidency’s sofa. Took a drink of water from one of the fountains. Was very much pleased with all I saw.

4^th – Carlos resigned his office as Church Architect.

6^th – Attended the dedication of the Salt Lake Temple. Pres. Woodruff, Cannon and Smith spoke. President Woodruff said that this will be a turning point in favor of this people. Satan would be bound, that he would not have power to afflict this people as he had hither-to done.”

Carlie and Carlos of my children were present, also my brother Edward who sat in the bishop’s stand to represent my father. Fred, Joseph Platte were present, L. G. Hardy, and Hyrum Clawson were there.

9^th – Mamie, and her three oldest girls, (Minnie, Genie, Emily), Josephine, Geneva, Alice and Don went to the Temple this morning. Some of our Conference folks went home this morning.

23^rd – Attended the afternoon session in the Temple. All had the promise of being forgiven of all their sins no matter what they were if it was not the sin against the Holy Ghost.

Again attended afternoon meeting. The last of the conference for six months. The same promise to the people if they would repent and confess to their God. The promise was extended to all whether they had attended the conference or not, I would like to know if the promise will extend to the dead that have died under transgression.

11^th – Carlie started for the World’s Fair.

18^th – Carlos and I received an invitation to dine at the Temple Annex.

19^th – Dined at the Temple Annex. Two hymns were sung. The first was, “God Moves in a Mysterious Way.” The last “Praise God from Whom All Blessings Flow.” I enjoyed myself well. We had a splendid repast (dinner).

31^st – Went to the Temple with Lulu to have her Endowments. I was endowed for Mrs. Barnabas Brigham of Pres. Young’s relatives.

June 1^st – Went to the Temple and was endowed for May Greenleaf of Pres. B. Y. relatives. It being Pres. Young’s birthday the day was set apart for the family to work for his dead. And all others who wished to make a gift of that days’s labor to the family had the privilege of taking a name. One hundred and three were endowed for Pres. Young’s dead. About 60 more or other people were endowed.

Emily has just gotten moved into the old Snow House.

4^th – Went to the Tabernacle, heard O. F. Whitney preach. Got very tired. Walked up to Emily Clawson’s, had dinner. Shirley brought me home in his donkey cart. Our outfit made people that we met smile, and some of the ruder boys yelled at us and swung their hats.

7^th – Went to the S. L. Temple and was endowed for Elizabeth Young.

8^th – Went to the S.L. Temple and was endowed for Mary Bigelow, wife of Artemas Howe.

June 9^th – Went to the Temple, endowed for Eunice Howe, wife of David Warren.

16^th – Josephine Young went to the Temple and was endowed for Mary Howe, wife of Frederick Barnes.

22^nd – Josephine went to the Temple and was endowed for Persis Howe, wife of John Gleason.

29^th – Went to the S.L. Temple was endowed for Sarah Harrington, wife of Abner Howe,. S. L. Temple, E. P. Smith, Prox.

30^th – Went to the Temple was endowed for Catherine Howe, wife of Luke Howe.

Lulu Clawson was endowed for Lydia Church, wife of Adonijab Howe.

July – Endowed for Ann Partridge, Patience Partridge, Mahitable Crow, Mary Partridge, Hannah Partridge, Mahitable Partridge.

July 21^st – Len and Mamie Hardy went to the Temple and received their second anointings.

(July was much temple work—too numerous to mention.)

Aug. 1 – Carlie arrived home from England.

15^th – Went to Saltair on Carlie’s pass. Emily, Mamie, Josephine, Carlos, Alice, Lulu, Nell, Alice Clawson, Ada were of the party. Had a very agreeable time. It was the first time I had ever been over there.

Sept. Emily and her three oldest daughters went to the World’s Fair, with the Choir.

Sept. 24^th – I went with Carlie and Bro. Cannon to his farm over Jordan. Hyrum, Emily, Lulu, Nell, Alice, Bessie, Carl, Alice Young, Len, Mamie, Minnie, Genie, Josephine, Will and Ada Cannon, and some others went also. Had a very pleasant time.

Oct. 15^th – Went with Carlos in his buggie to Bro. Edwards. Mamie and Alice with their babies, Kate and Georgie, went also. The roads were good, and the weather was fair with the exception of the wind. It was quite cold and windy coming home. We all attended the exercises at the Academy. Had a very pleasant time. Came home Tuesday the 17^th. Feel rather tired.

Nov. 30^th – Thanksgiving Day. Josephine brought her turkey and got her dinner with me. I was invited up at Nells, Nabbie, and Evie’s, did not go because I was threatened with erysipelas. Josephine had the best turkey I ever ate.

Dec. 25 – Christmas has come again, the happiest day in all the year for children. And older people seem to enjoy themselves; giving and receiving tokens of love and friendship. The day ought to be a happy one for all who dwell upon this earth, especially for the saints who understand its meaning more fully than all others.

Blessed be the day; but more blessed be Him who gave us the day, with its many blessings and good gifts; and many friends with loving hearts and kind wishes. We here in the valleys of the mountains have great reason to rejoice, more than any other people upon the face of the whole earth. But do we appreciate the goodness of our God? Can we always acknowledge his hand in all things; our trials as well as our blessings? Well, I hope all that are worthy will receive some extra good on this day. I hope they may find relief for one day at least if not more. I feel very thankful for my blessings. I am thankful for motherhood.

My children are more to me than all else. I remember when I was a little girl of reading a verse in the Bible that I especially claimed as mine. I thought it the best one in the whole chapter. It read like this “Her children arise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.”

My presents were—from Emily a small satchel, Carlie, vol. 10 Juvenile Instructor. From Carlos a book by Jules Verne. Josephine a pair of wristers. Mamie a teapot and photo of Georgie. Minnie handkerchief and calendar. Genie a cardboard from for a photo. All went over to Carlie’s and spent the evening. I stayed at home. My brother came in and stayed all night. I had a good visit with him. I forgot to say that Nell gave me a box of candy of her own make. Also Carroll brought me some of her make: it was all very nice.

Jan. 11, 1894 – I went over to Carlie’s. It was President Cannon’s birthday. He was 67 years old. I stayed with them until Sunday the 14^th.

Feb. 26^th – L. G. Hardy, Jr. was baptized. Confirmed on March 1st.

Feb. 28^th – Today I am 70 years old. My children made me a birthday party at Emily’s. It was a perfect success. I never enjoyed myself better before at a party in my life. All seemed to enjoy themselves tip top. A good spirit prevailed. President Woodruff and Cannon and Smith told stories. Hyrum read three laughable pieces. Carl and the girls played and sang. I wanted some of the brethren to speak but told Carl not to ask them for I wanted them to enjoy themselves in their own way. But Pres. Smith, just before going, said he wanted to say a few words if we would excuse him for taking the liberty. I wish I could tell all that he said. He said a good many good words for me, and manifested the best of feelings for his Aunt Emily (for I was his aunt), he was proud to claim me as such. He blessed me and my family and all that were there; and I think we all were very much comforted and encouraged. I feel to live for those blessings. I could not help but go to him and thank him for I appreciated what he said more, coming from him freely without any of us soliciting him to speak. I think a great deal of Bro. Joseph F. Smith, and also of Bro. Cannon, and when he calls me “Mother” I feel quite proud. Truly I am blessed above many, for which I thank God.

Apr. 18^th – Went to Saltair with the old Folks Excursion.

Aug. 20 – Went to Saltair with Josephine and Emily.

21^st – Carl has the Typhoid fever.

25^th – The doctor says Carl’s’ fever has left him, and he is in a fair way to recover. We all feel encouraged.

28^th – Carlos has not been out of the house for six weeks today.

Sept. 6^th – Carlos is a little better, gaining slowly. Not able to sit up any yet.

7^th – Josephine’s well went dry all of a sudden. It has been raining almost constantly for three days.

8^th – It is pleasant this morning.

22^nd – Carlos rode out this morning. He is gaining slowly.

5^th – Went to the old folks entertainment at the Theater.

Feb 28, 1895 – It is my 71^st birthday. Emily made a dinner and invited all of my family up there except the youngest children.

March 1 – Carlos was invited to the Temple. It was Pres. Woodruff’s 88^th birthday. He took Nellie.

4^th – Fifty-two years ago today, I was married to Joseph Smith the Prophet. I went to one of the neighbor’s (Hebert C. Kimball’s) after dark and alone. When I went in, no one was in the house but Bro. Kimball’s oldest son and daughter. I did not know what to do, or what excuse to make, but well, I don’t like to think of those times, and will say no more now.

24^th – Went to Sunday School in order to partake of the Sacrament. But there was no Sunday School on account of Brother Tueson’s funeral. In the evening Len brought me some of the sacrament home and administered it to those who could not attend meeting.

25^th – Carlos received a notice from Pres. Woodruff that he would be called to go on a mission to the Southern States soon.

26^th – Returned his answer in the affirmative.

29^th – I received a notice from the B. Y. Trust Company that my maintenance was cut down to $75, and from April 1^st I would no longer receive but $75.00. Well, perhaps it has been managed wisely; at any rate we cannot help it.

April 9^th – Carlos was set apart for his Southern mission by Hebert Grant.

10^th – Emily, Lulu, Carli, Ada, Carroll, Mamie and Josephine and children met at Carl’s, bringing their picnic and all took dinner together before he went on his mission. He seems to feel real well about going. Bro. Cannon came in but did not stop to dinner.

13^th – Carl started on his mission. He went on the D. and R.G. He was unable to get a berth.

14^th – We feel very lonesome. Bessie came down for me and I went home with her. Bro. Edward was here and he went with us. Caroline was up to Conference. She went home Friday morning.

23^rd – About 4 o’clock in the morning Mamie’s 8^th child was born. She was pretty sick. Len was away. I moved from Josephine’s to Mamie’s.

May 1^st – Len blessed Mamie’s baby and named it Lucille.

June 1^st – Attended the Young family reunion in the Social Hall.

25^th – Carli started west in Pres. Woodruff’s company.

26^th – Attended the Smith family reunion.

28^th – Temple closed for one month.

July 1^st – Received from Estate $75.00.

4^th – Not much going on except the snapping of a gun occasionally. Len with all his family have gone up in the canyon to stay until Sat.

11^th – Old folks excursion to Pleasant Grove. I took H.B.C.’s advice and stayed at home. It was cold and rainy.

Oct. 9^th – Salt Lake Temple, Mary Roper was married.

16^th – Salt Lake Temple Carli Louine Y. Clawson and Seymour B. Young were married. Len and Miriam Hardy went up to see them married. Hyrum, Emily, Kate, Nellie, and Bessie were there of Lulu’s folks. Seymour father/brothers/four sisters and brothers in law were there. In the evening there was a large reception and a great many beautiful and useful presents. I hope their married life will be a happy one.

27^th – I ate dinner with Emily. She sent the buggy down for me. Her whole family was present.

Dec. 14^th – I finished a woolen rug today and gave it to Mamie. I have made two silk rugs since August 1895. One for Lulu and one for Minnie Hardy.

Dec. 17^th – 20^th – Len and Oscar went up to his mine. While they were coming down Parley’s Canyon a blinding snowstorm came up suddenly so they could not see their way. The horses took fright and started to run and threw Len and Oscar out of the wagon. Oscar was not hurt, but Len was dazed for a few minutes but soon recovered himself and was all right in a couple of days.

Dec. 24^th – Kate Clawson came to take me up to her mother’s to spend Christmas.

Dec. 27 – Hyrum C. came down to take me to the dentist. He said he wanted to give me a set of teeth for a birthday present. I had 7 teeth out without taking gas.

Clisbee got badly hurt coasting down a steep hill. Soon after I was taken down very sick. I was almost instantly healed by the prayer of faith. I was left very weak but perfectly well in every other respect.

Feb. 11, 1896 – Am still gaining strength. This morning a heavy snowstorm set in. Whilst looking at the large flakes descend; it brought to my mind a circumstance in my life 50 years ago this moth almost to a day. Whilst on the western banks of the Mississippi River, while the exodus of the saints from Nauvoo was going on.

22^nd – Last night, or rather this morning, I dreamed that the Prophet Joseph had returned home, and he was as busy as he could be. The next I remember he and Emma were in bed in one room and I was in bed in another room with a thin partition between. The side of their bed was against the partition opposite their bed and I could hear what they said. They were talking about the course government had taken with this people in prohibiting them living with their plural wives. I was thinking, as I had been deprived of Joseph’s society all my life, would it be the same now he had returned. I thought, very likely it would. As he had so many wives it seemed that some would have to be neglected. Then it seemed we interchanged thoughts, and it was that he had many women sealed to him that he would not keep, he then spoke and said, “Emily, I shall keep you with me.” I said thank you for those comforting words. Then I was up in the morning very busy. I know not what I was doing, but company was coming to breakfast and they had begun to come. Eight to ten men had arrived, one mulatto was among them. Joseph had not yet arisen, but he said, I must hurry and get up for the men that I made an appointment with have commenced to come. After he was dressed he was busy transacting some kind of church business with these men, and I thought how different things were since his return. It seems that great things were being performed for the saints.

26^th – Carli came for me today. She wanted me to go home with her and stay until after my birthday, as she was going to have her father’s wives down.

27^th – I finished her silk rug.

28^th – Today I am 72 years old. The wives came, Emily, Kate, Alice C, Mamie, Josephine—Minne H. and Alice and Nellie Young were there. They are all very kind to me. Bro. Cannon seems to have the best of feelings, in fact, all of my sons-in-law treat me with the greatest kindness and respect. Bro. Woodruff and wife, Bro. Joseph F. and two wives were there. He left his blessing with me. I appreciate the blessings of the servants of God, especially those who stand at the head of God’s Kingdom upon this earth.

Mar. 1^st – This is Emily’s birthday—she is 47. How the time flies. It is snowing and everything is white out of doors. Carli will go to Pres. Woodruff’s today—it is his birthday.

Mar. 2 – Alice Hardy and Naomi Young were baptized.

4^th – 53 years ago this evening about 8 p.m., I was married to the Prophet Joseph Smith, at the house of Hebert Kimball, and he performed the ceremony. It was a rather peculiar wedding. I would be pleased to meet him again, if I could without going behind the veil, but not exactly as I did that evening. I desire to live some years longer.

5^th – Alice H. and Naomi Young were confirmed in the 2^nd Ward, 1896.

31^st – Hyrum B. Clawson came down and took me up to the dentist and got my set of teeth. Me made me a present of them. May the Lord bless him for his kindness.

Apr. 5^th – Sister Caroline is here for Conference.

18^th – Carlie and Pres. Cannon started for Washington, D.C.

May 6^th – Pres. Cannon and Carlie returned from Washington.

9^th – I finished Kate’s rug, had it done, all but the lining, last Fri. This is the 7^th. Lulu’s was the first. I have 3 throw downs under way.

10^th – Mark Y. Cannon was ordained an elder.

13^th – Mark went through the Temple for the first time.

16^th – Mark Cannon started on his first mission to the Southern States. On the 15^th or 16^th, Mark was ordained a Seventy.

June 1^st – The Young family held a fast meeting in Pres. Young’s old school house. The members of my family numbered nearly one-half of those present, Mamie and three children, Alice Young and three children attended. I did not go because of my lame back.

2^nd – Donie, Minnie, Genie, Emily and Genevie went to the Temple and were baptized for some of the Young family. Don was baptized for 20. Minnie for 20, and the other girls 10 each. Morris’s son was baptized for 20 making 40 males and 60 females. They were the only grandchildren there.

3^rd – Mamie went to the Temple. The Young family had some sealing done. Seymour Young stood for his grandfather, John Young. Emily Clawson stood for her grandmother Nabby Howe. Brigham Jr. stood for his father, Morris for his Uncle John Young. Will Dougall for his great uncle Joseph—Hugh D. for his great Uncle Phineas Young—Carli Cannon for her Aunt Nabby. Rie Dougall for her Aunt Fanny—Phoebe B. for her Aunt Louise Sanford. Nabby Young was sealed to Pres. G. Q. Cannon, Carlie Y. Cannon pros.

4^th – Visited at Emily Y. Clawson’s. Rie, Phoebe, Susie, Mira, and Carli, Mamie, Josephine and Carl’s two wives.

5^th – It is quite cool today. I am sitting by a good fire, and feel quite comfortable. Last Tuesday the 2^nd, I finished my 8^th rug. I made them without glasses.

9^th – Mamie, Josephine, Minnie, and myself visited at Carlie Cannon’s. She gave me a lot of plants, and something for a black figured dress, two pairs of pants and coat and vest, of Will C. for Don. And a good many partly worn clothes to Mamie and Josephine. I think I have got the best children in the world. They deserve all the good things this world affords.

July 3^rd – Emily sent her surrey down so I went up to see the parade.

4^th – Emily sent for me again. The decorations were fine and the procession was much better than the day before. A great many people were out.

16^th – Today is the excursion to Ogden for the old folks. I thought I would like to go; but circumstances were unfavorable, so I did not go.

Aug. 4^th – I commenced to move from Mamie’s to my own home.

8^th – Went to Carlie’s. Came home Sunday and found Mamie had gone to the canyon for her baby’s health.

Aug. 12^th – This morning Mamie came home from the canyon bringing the corpse of Lucille. She died last night about 10 or 11 o’clock. Rather a sad homecoming. The funeral will take place tomorrow at 3 o’clock.

13^th – Lucille’s funeral today. Carlie started for Catalina Island with Pres. Cannon.

Sept. 9^th – Carli returned home again.

11^th – I went to Carlie’s and stayed a few days to get my strength, as I have an attack of the erysipelas.

17^th – Came home, am feeling better.

20^th – In Utah, S.L.C. we can see some curious things such as watering the streets in a rainstorm. That is what I saw today.

Oct. 12^th – Carlie sent for me to come and stay with her this winter. I packed up my bed and went. Feel real well and contented.

13^th – Mamie’s birthday. She came over to bring an order from the Estate of $280. I gave her and Alice $5.00.

16^th – Pres. Cannon and Carlie went to Provo. It is Founders Day. Hyrum and Emily went also. They returned the same day on account of Mollie Cummings being very sick. Pres. Cannon and Carlie returned Sat. Carroll took me home in the surrey to get a few more things.

Oct. 17^th – Conference has come and gone. And although some of my relatives were in the city, I saw none of them. We are fast growing to be strangers.

18^th – I have finished a comforter for Carlie and nearly one for Mamie. I expect to quite finish it tomorrow.

19^th – Finished Mamie two quilts—one large and one small.

Nov. 3 – Voted the Republican ticket—straight.

12^th – Came home from Carlie’s to spend a few days. I like it over there very much. They are all very kind to me. All of my children and grandchildren are very good to me and I love them all dearly. I feel

that the Lord has blessed me abundantly, and I thank Him all the day long. Alice and Nellie also are very kind.

16^th – Emily came in today—said Hyrum wanted me to come up and go with him to get some glasses. He took me down and had my eyes measured. Rather difficult, went the next day. Think I will succeed in getting some good ones. Hyrum is very good to me. My old glasses will pay part. He says he will pay the rest.

26^th – Carroll came for me, was quite sick with a cold. Thought I would stay while Carlie was away. Pres. Cannon administered to me and I got better.

27^th – Carlie with Pres. G. Q. Cannon, started for New. York.

Dec. 7^th – I stayed about two weeks, got very lonesome. Minnie came for me. Josephine had company. Emily, Lulu, Nellie B., Phoebe Beattie, Mamie Cannon, Alice Y., Mamie H. were there.

Dec. 8^th – Went to Carlie’s and got some of my things.

15^th – Attended the old folks matinee. Commenced Kate’s bed spread.

27^th – Christmas has come and gone. All fared very well. I received a pair of gold bowed glasses.

31^st – Finished Alice Young’s rug. Began it Dec. 5, 1896.

Jan 1, 1897 – Pres. G. Q. Cannon sent Alice and Nellie Young a sack of flour, 100 lbs. A nice roast of beef and one of port, each. Well, the 1896 has gone, no more to return. It went with a loud snort, bells ringing, whistles blowing, one might think bedlam was let loose. Quite a number of Mamie Hardy’s friends met at her house to wait for the old year to go out and to welcome the New Year in. They had a very pleasant time. I went to bed as usual, but heard his groans as he passed away.

7^th – L.B. Clawson came to see about getting some trees. I gave him 4. One I call grandma’s tree because I set it out with my own hands. And I think I started it from a little branch, stuck into a wet piece of ground.

8^th – He had one taken up, it was a good day’s work.

2^nd – Pres. G. Q. Cannon sent Alice Young about 25 lbs. of corn meal.

4^th – Emily called today and brought two hams for Mamie, Josephine, Alice, to be divided amongst them.

5^th – We received a letter from Len—written by W. A. Derybery which gave us an awful shock. He said it was currently reported there that Pres. Young had been killed. Len went right up to the President’s office to see if they had heard anything of it. They had not and did not credit it. They telegraphed to Pres. Kimball. Just before night, an answer came stating that he had received a letter from Pres. Young dated Feb. 1^st saying he was well and with friends, in company with three elders.

Derybery’s letter was dated Feb. 1^st. We could not believe it, but it made us all feel very sad and anxious, until we heard directly from him.

8^th – Received a letter from Carl dated Feb. 1^st which set our minds at rest. He was well and in good spirits—among friends.

10^th – H. G. Clawson sent me about one dollars worth of nice kindling wood. God bless him.

16^th – It is snowing, and I am reminded of 57 years ago, when I was in camp on Sugar Creek sitting on a log with my 3 month old baby in my lap without home or friends. I can truly say I felt desolate indeed. I have been shedding a few tears, as I always do when I think of some portions of my past life. No doubt it is very foolish. There is a great contrast in those days and now. I am now surrounded with kind children, grandchildren, great grandchildren, kind sons-in-law, and many friends with the comforts of life.

23^rd – Covered Genie’s footstool.

28^th – Emily and Carlie and some others came in bringing the “Goodies” for the table, also flowers. Emily gave me $5.00. Pres. Cannon and Bro. Edward came in to dinner. Pres. C. said I ought to live to be 100 years old. It was quite a happy birthday.. Of course we missed Carl. Carlie is quite sick, Anne has got the scarlet fever. Their place is quarantined. But as far as I know, they are doing well.

Mar. 6^th – Visited at Zina H. Young’s; Hyrum and Emily were there. Stayed with Emily until the 8^th.

9^th – Carlie is very sick. Anne is almost well. I borrowed $50 of Emily for Carlos. Paid back $30 and Hyrum gave Carlos the other $20.00. Hyrum is very kind to us. In fact, all my sons-in-law are very good to me. If they have ever felt offended with me, it is all in the past. Now the best of feelings seem to prevail.

26^th – Carl returned from his Southern Mission.

31^st – Carl went through the Temple for Zebulon Young.

April 1^st – Carl Young went to the Temple for Ezekiel Clisbee.

2^nd – Carl went to the Temple for Abraham Young.

May 6^th – Carl’s birthday. Forty-two years old. Emily, Carli, Mamie, Josephine, Lulu, Nellie B., Kate, Alice C., Nellie H, Mamie Y. Cannon gave him a surprise party.

10^th – Finished my 13^th rug.

14^th – Carl succeeded in getting a new spring wagon and started for Provo.

June 1^st – I attended a reception at the Lion House.

9^th – Mamie’s 9^th child, and 3^rd son was born. Named Brigham Young Hardy.

July 20 – Attended the Jubilee. Had a seat in the Pioneer stand. Could not hear nor see, being on a back seat.

21^st – Went to the Jubilee, had a seat in Lambert store in upper windows. Had good view of procession. Some very fine floats.

22^nd – Went down in the evening to see the decorations and view the procession. All very fine.

23^rd – Finished Nellie Brown’s “Throwdown.”

24^th – The procession came up 5^th East past Emily’s. So I had a good chance to see it without leaving home. The display was grand. The old Pioneer wagons were almost too realistic. They brought back in a forcible manner the horrible journey across the plains. I only sat and cried while they passed. Finished Kate’s tidy.

28^th – Received an invitation from Pres. Joseph F. Smith, with two tickets, to attend the Smith reunion at Saltair.

29^th – Went to Saltair. Carl, Emily, Carli, Ada, Josephine, Alice and Don were there. Kate and Alice, Shirley Clawson came later. We had a very enjoyable time until the wind rose and made it rather bad for the bathers. The wind came so sudden that it was difficult for them to get out of the lake; one man had drifted so far out, that a skiff had to go after him, or I don’t know but he would have perished. It is almost a wonder that there are not more fatalities.

26^th – Carl and Alice, with the small children, took the cars for Provo. Carlie also started for Soda Springs. Pres. Cannon going for his health.

Sept. 1^st – Finished Hyrum’s rug. Made the top of chair cushion cover for Hyrum’s cousin, Mrs. Davis.

6^th – I attended a family reunion at Eliza Smith’s.

7^th – Tuesday morning about 5 o’clock, Lulu’s first boy was born.

Oct 1^st – Received from Estate $75.00.

3^rd – Paid the most out for taxes.

Nov. 12^th – Shirley Clawson was chosen President of Deacon’s Quorum in 12^th Ward. He and Chester were ordained deacons sometime before.

17^th – Carlie was here today. Her health is not very good. She says that next Friday, Tracy is going to be ordained a Priest, and Clawson will be ordained a deacon.

4^th – Went to Provo with Carlie, she returned the same day. Paid for ticket $1.90. Made a mistake in getting half fare ticket on the wrong line. Got half fare return ticket on Oregon Short Line. Arrived at S.L. depot 6:20 p.m. Spent about $10.00 for my trip. Found Carl doing well. Children bright and learning nicely. I think they will be good singers.

13^th – Arrived home safe, found all well. Shirley was waiting with buggy at depot.

25^th – Christmas has come again, and the erysipelas came to me also, but I am getting over it nicely. I had some remembrances. Emily gave me an atlas. Mamie a nice cup and saucer. Genie a picture of her own painting. Carroll a nice handkerchief. Carlie some cheese and a photo of Helen C., Scott a picture. Some candy, nuts, figs from Emily. Carlie gave wool shoes. Carl came up from Provo this morning. Nellie H’s second daughter was born on the 19^th of Dec. 1897, a week ago today named Frances. Gave to the Cannon Ward 70 lbs. sewed carpet rags for their meeting house.

Jan. 1^st 1898 – Another year has gone—and another begins. How fast they come. How fast they go. What will be the record of the New Year. None can tell except by inspiration. We know that the prophecies are being fulfilled. The judgments of God are overtaking the wicked; yet wickedness seems to be on the increase; and terrible calamities are more and more numerous. We hear of wars and rumors of wars in foreign countries; and the Rev. say Lo and behold, they are right at your own doors. We know not what the year will bring forth; but this we do know, the purposes of the Almighty will be fulfilled.

Jan. 2rd – Hyrum C. and Shirley started for San Francisco.

9^th – I expected Carlie would send for me today to attend Pres. Cannon’s birthday reunion but it stormed and so prevented her from sending. Today it is snowing so I will not be able to go. He will be 71 tomorrow.

11^th – Attended Pres. Cannon’s 71^st birth sociable.

13^th – Came home from Carlie’s on the street car.

14^th – Carlie, Mamie, Josephine, Alice Dowden Y., two children, Lulu and baby visited at Emily’s, Mamie and her baby. Scott was quite sick all day.

15^th – Scott’s sickness has developed into the Scarlet fever. The place is quarantined. A great deal of hard work is caused by quarantine. Josephine is at Edna’s, Chester sent to Lulu’s, but ---------was advised to come home. None can go to school.

16^th – The yellow flag is waving in front of the house; and all of the rules and regulations are carried out. Sheets dipped in carbolic acid water hang over the doors, and sulphur is burning, the fumes of which are enough to make one sick if there was nothing else. Well, we are in for a siege of isolation and I hope all will turn out well. It will be hard on Emily I am sure. She was in hopes to have gotten Rhoda Hardy but she could not come. I suppose Alice Young went home today. Kate was poking the fire in the hall stove when it suddenly burst out into her face and eyes and singed her hair. She was afraid at first if would destroy her eyesight.

17^th – Kate’s eyes will be all right in a day or two. They are sore today. Scott is doing as well as can be expected. He has some appetite this morning. He has the fever in its worst form.

Today is Alice’s birthday, 22 years old. The house is quarantined so she can’t go out, neither can company come in. May she never be quarantined again. And may she live to be as old as her grandmother, and be as happy.

Feb. 1^st – Carlie Cannon’s birthday—47. She had a few friends at her house. Of course Emily and I could not go on account of the quarantine. We would have liked to have been there.

2^nd – Emily feels miserable today. I am afraid she will be sick if she doesn’t get out of that room soon.

6^th – It has been very, very cold for a few weeks, and quite foggy. The weather has moderated considerably.

21 – The yellow flag was taken down today. Wilford Cannon has the Scarlet Fever. George Cannon Young was born today. He is the 7^th son of D. C. Young. Born in Provo, Utah.

28^th – Today I am 74 years old. Len and Mamie, Bert and Josephine and Lulu came in for a little while. Emily is in the midst of house cleaning. Lulu brought me some pinks. I got a letter from Mark who is in Kentucky.

Mar. 1^st – Emily’s birthday, 49 years old. Carlie sent me some flowers. Got a letter from Carlos Young. Received from Estate and check for $75. Am not feeling very well.

14^th – Josephine’s fourth daughter was born about 9 o’clock p.m.

16^th – Snowing, and has been, off and on for several days. Melts as it comes down.

Apr. 13^th – Received from Estate $50.00.

20^th – Today the colored troops of Camp Douglass left Salt Lake City.

26^th – Visited at Carlie Cannon’s with my daughters.

28^th – Moved to Mamie’s. Carlie has gone East with Pres. Cannon. Ada came home to spend the summer.

May 2^nd – Received from Estate $50.00.

16^th – Finished Bessie’s spread.

20^th – Went up town to see some of the Utah troops off for the war. Afterwards went with Mamie, Emily and Chester up to Camp.

June 1^st – Leah Dunford was married. Emily, Kate and Alice Clawson, Josephine and Geneva went to Provo to the reception. Mamie intended to go but Emily H. had a swelling under her arm which pained her so badly, Mamie gave up going.

3^rd – Rained all night, and tried to snow this morning. The weather is quite cool. Hyrum, Shirley, Nellie, Leigh and the children from San Francisco last Tues. Received $50.00 from the Estate. Paid $5.00 tithing.

4^th – Aaron Young Hardy and Nellie H. Young were baptized in the Tabernacle font, Thomas Adams officiating.

5^th – Aaron was confirmed in the 2^nd Ward by Apostle Brigham Young. Mr. Heath came yesterday to Mamie with complaints about the children. He does not seem to have a faculty of making the boys like him. He shot Clisbee’s dog and the boy retaliated by killing one of his ducks, and that was more than he could stand. L. G. planted a few seeds for me last Tues. He also lost a silver dollar by tossing it up and it went farther than he intended it to, it lit in some newly planted ground so he was not able to find it. The next day Mamie lost five dollars in tithing.

12^th – Bert and Josephine have gone to Ogden. Josephine returns tomorrow. Bert goes farther on State business.

13^th – Anne Y. Cannon was baptized, also, R. McKaig, B. Young, Jr. officiating. Confirmed by G. Q. Cannon same day. Finished Bessie’s pillow shams.

27^th – 1898 – This is the 54^th anniversary of the martyrdom of two of the best men of the 19^th century, Joseph Smith the Prophet and his brother Hyrum the Patriarch. It was a sad day when they fell victims of wicked and corrupt men. Sad have been the days without their society. When, oh when will there be a reunion of the loved ones? The days seem so long, will the parting never end.

I was more acquainted with Joseph and his home life, than with Hyrum. Having lived in his house between two and three years. I have known of his outgoings, and his incomings, his sorrows and his joys, his troubles and afflictions in public and in private. He was one of the noblest of men and those who knew him best, loved him most. He once said, as he was lying in bed when a boy, the bed clothes were taken up and laid off onto the foot of the bed. He being frightened he raised up and pulled them up again, this being repeated three times, the last time a hand was laid upon his head.

July 6^th – Went to Lagoon with the old folks excursion. Had a ride on the Merry-go-Round. Price 5 cents.

July 21^st – Ada’s first son was born.

July 24^th – Pioneer Day. Went up in City Creek Canyon with Carl and family, in his lumber wagon. It was very warm and dusty going up, but when we stopped in a nice shady place on the bank of the creek, it was cool and quite enjoyable. I had a nice easy chair to sit in going up and after I got there. And besides could lie down and rest when we wanted to. I got very tired but stood it well and think it did me good. We came home in the cool of the day and was not so long coming down as going up. Quite a number of people were up there, and several going up as we came down.

29^th – Mamie went up Parley’s Canyon to spend one or two weeks.

25^th – Mamie came home from the canyon.

26^th – Carl and Alice went home. They have been staying in S.L. City for about a month.

Sept. 2^nd – Have just heard of Pres. Woodruff’s death. It was a great surprise to us. We had heard that he was feeling so well while in Calif.

4^th – Pres. Woodruff’s remains arrived home. Emily, Carlie and the whole party also returned. E and G and husbands brought me an invalid table. Carlie brought me a pair of wool shoes.

7^th – Tracy had his endowments.

8^th – Mark returned from his mission in the Southern States.

14^th – Carroll had her endowments. Pres. Woodruff’s funeral. Carl came up to the funeral.

20^th – Tracy started for Ann Arbor to school. Mark went to Logan last Saturday to school.

21^st – Josephine had my folks to her house.

23^rd – Lulu moved into my house at Minnie Hawhaw (that is the name I gave it when I first came here) also Inglooce.

Oct. 1^st – Received from Estate $50.00. Quite a snow storm.

12^th – Finished Emily Hardy’s rug.

13^th – Mamie’s 41^st birthday

18^th – The President started for Omaha; Carlie invited Mamie so she has gone with them.

20^th – Spent the afternoon at Sister Zina’s.

24^th – Carlie and Mamie arrived home from Omaha. They visited Chicago, and came in on U.P. 7:15 p.m.

Nov. 3^rd – Went to Carlie’s to a quilting. All my children were there, except Carl. Carlie gave me a pair of blankets. God bless her, and may her stores increase from this time forth, forever.

6^th – Attended fast meeting in 2^nd Ward. Josephine had her baby blessed and named Virginia. I paid $1.00 donation.

8^th – Went to the Polls and voted; and then went to the 18^th Ward chapel to attend the funeral of Harriet Cook Young. She was buried up in the Cemetery according to her request. Carl was one of the pall bearers.

18^th – Went to Carlie Cannon’s to spend a few days. In the evening there was the most beautiful sunset I ever beheld. I never saw anything so bright and brilliant in the sky before. The colors, especially the blue, surpassed everything for brightness.

19^th – A heavy snow storm that night.

20^th – I came home. That morning about 9 o’clock when I was getting up (it being late), I glanced out of the window, and said to myself the snow is all off the trees and the ground is all black with mud. Shortly after I looked out again and the snow was on the trees and they were white as ever. I wondered if my eyes could so deceive me.

22^nd – I went with Emily, Carlie, Mamie, Josephine, Lulu and Ada to Nellie H. Young’s, as a kind of surprise party, each taking her something so that she and her mother might have a pleasant Thanksgiving Day. While there, Josephine asked if anybody had noticed how dark the snow was Monday morning. She said it was a dark brown all over the valley as far as she could see. That explained the circumstance of my thinking the snow being gone.

26^th – Christmas has come and gone. I have been quite sick for two or three weeks. I am getting some better slow. Emily gave me a wrapper, Carlie bed springs, Mamie flowers, Josephine a cup and saucer. Lulu mush bowl, Kate handkerchief. Alice and Bessie a veil. Carl cards. Minnie a calendar.

28^th – Carl came up to see me, went back same day. I was taken sick about 4 months ago.

Jan. 6^th , 1899 – Between 11 and 12 o’clock, Lulu’s second boy was born.

26^th – Am getting better slowly. Emily came down with a Phaeton and took me for a short ride. I went in to see Lulu’s baby.

Feb. 1^st – Carlie’s birthday. Commenced snowing.

7^th – Snowing, very cold.

14^th – Sold my home—gave Pres. Cannon $200.00.

Received 15 shares of sugar stock from Pres. Cannon for the $200.00 placed in his hands to be assigned equally between Carlos’ two families and Mamie and Josephine.

17^th – Carlos attended a ball at the insane asylum.

28^th – Emily gave me $2.00. Kate, pinks; Mamie hot water bag. Mamie’s little children, a card. Carlie gave me violets, oranges and two dollars in silver.

Mar. 7^th – Josephine was taken down with the scarlet fever.

16^th – Cousin Susan Dow Clark called to see me. She was from Chicago.

Apr. 30 – Pres. Cannon, wife and H. B. Clawson started east. We have had some of the most beautiful sunsets that I ever saw.

May 1^st – The first of May, it snowed all day. Received a check from the Estate of $50.00.

16^th – I moved to Emily’s in the 12^th Ward. I feel sorry to take her nice room. She and the girls are so good to me I hardly know how to express myself. Josephine and Lulu have shown me every kindness. Carlie and Carlos have spared no pains to do me good, and Pres. Cannon; I can’t feel grateful enough to him for his kindness to me and my family.

17^th – I am feeling much better today. Scott is very sick and Emily has her hands full attending to his wants.

19^th – Mrs. Waldron (now Anderson) came to see Emily—her daughter was born in the Head House in 1871 while boarding with me.

28^th – Len and Mamie and family and Shirley started for Alberta this morning. Their baggage went last evening. It seems very lonesome. Quite a shower this afternoon.

June 1^st – I received from Estate $50.00.

This past weeks have been a busy time. Schley, Decoration Day, Pres. Young’s birthday at Saltair and the almost daily or nightly thunderstorms. Carl came up with Alice and the five youngest children. They all went to Saltair, and the almost daily or nightly thunderstorms. Carl came up from Provo with Alice and five youngest children and went to Saltair. They left Kirt home alone. They stopped with Josephine. Don went last Sunday to Helper, about 80 miles south, expecting to work at Carpentering, but the men did not fulfill their agreement, but set him and two other boys that went with him to packing great logs which nearly broke their backs. I hope they will not stay.

6^th – Got a letter from Mamie today.

10^th – Hyrum returned from the Eastern States and brought some small presents.

July 6^th – Carl and Alice came up from Provo to go north on his mission for the B.Y. Academy. He took, me, Josephine, and Alice over to Carlie’s. Nellie Young was there. She seems quite happy with her husband. We hear quite often from Mamie and the girls. It is a beautiful country, but not quite all that has been represented.

10^th – Finished my 16^th and I think my last rug.

25^th – I went with Carl down to Carlie’s. She came up here so I missed seeing her.

Aug. 5^th – Carl came up from Provo. Alice Clawson went to Soda Springs. Nellie Brown came down from Soda Springs.

Aug. 6^th – Fast Day. cold, cloudy, some rain.

9^th – Pres. Cannon and party started for Canada.

Oct. 3^rd – Went to the Temple to be administered to.

12^th – Carlie started for Chicago. Snowed and hard thunder.

15^th – Carlie returned from N. Y. The shower of meteors proved to be a shower of rain.

16^th – Returned to Emily’s.

17^th – The sun is shining. Shirley returned from Canada. He started the 15^th.

This is the end of this diary. Three weeks later, on Dec. 9, 1899, Emily Dow Partridge Smith Young passed away, age 75. These pages were typed by G. H. Steed, finished in 1970. She had received them from a cousin, but they were difficult to read.